I woke up early and watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful and adorable. He was older than me but still looked much younger because of his petite physique. His eyebrows were dark and perfectly shaped. His eyes were like a doe's, big and hypnotizing with short eyelashes. His nose was small and so was his mouth. His lips were not thin but not too big either. It was the perfect size. Unknowingly, I reached to caress his cheek, caressing his lips with my thumb. He took a deep breath and opened his sleepy eyes, his pupils focusing on my face.
I smiled. "Good morning."
He blinked twice. "Good morning. What are you doing?" He asked in confusion.
I continued to caress his lips. "Just admiring."
He blushed. "Cheesy."
I reached to caress his hair gently, just playing with some strands. "I am sorry about yesterday. I got caught up with something and couldn't make it early." I apologized.
He smiled. "It's alright. It's not your fault." He reached to caress my cheek.
I smiled broadly. "But let me make it up to you." I said, climbing on top of him.
He stared in my eyes with wide eyes, holding his breath. I leaned down to kiss him but he moved his head to the side. "Let me freshen up first." He said, gently pushing me away. I fell on the side of the bed loosely and watched as he made his way to the bathroom. I sighed. He was mad even though he said it was fine, wasn't it?
Being determined, I followed him to the bathroom. He was already brushing his teeth. I grabbed my toothbrush and joined him. I looked at him in the mirror. His mood had somehow changed. I could feel it. He was avoiding my eyes. I finished brushing and caught him in an embrace from his back as he applied face wash on his face and rested my chin on his shoulder.
"Let's take a shower together, shall we?" I asked with a bright smile.
He smiled hesitantly. "Nah, I think I will take a shower later in the day."
A frown formed upon my head but I quickly dismissed it and placed a smile on my face. "Alright. I will take a shower alone then. Does your back still hurt?"
He met my eyes in the mirror. "Uh...no not really."
"Oh okay." I broke the embrace and stepped away for him to splash water on his face. I stared at him for a brief moment, trying to figure out what to do. He was probably mad. And to tell that my grandpa had already looked for a future daughter-in-law would be adding fuel to the fire.
"Uh freshen up. I will go heat up the food from last night for breakfast." I said.
He nodded.
I zoned out in the kitchen, heating up the food in the microwave. I felt extremely apologetic and I didn't know how to make it up to him. I would have taken him out for an outing but the rain was pouring. That damn rain. We could have been cuddling but he was mad. I turned to look at him as he walked in the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water.
"What did you do yesterday the whole day?" I asked, trying to make small conversation.
He gulped the water down and turned to me. "Oh, nothing much. I was just being lazy and Zeal came over in the evening."
Ouch, that stabbed my heart. "Oh, Zeal?"
He nodded. "Yeah, he was just asking me about how I am doing. He suggested to come over when I said you were not home."
I nodded with raised eyebrows. "When I was not home, okay." I turned away from him and grabbed the heat gloves to take the food out.
He helped me set out the food on the dining and we sat down to eat. I took a spoonfull of food in my mouth and chewed, staring ahead. So that Zeal guy wanted to be around when I was not home. Why would he want that? What was wrong with him coming when I was home? Did he want to be alone with Kao? Why did want to be alone with Kao? What was wrong with me? Why was I even thinking like that?
I was so lost in my own thought that I didn't realize that Kao was looking at me as if expecting me to say something. I looked at him, raising my eyebrow to ask what was wrong.
"How's the food? I cooked it for you last night." He asked.
Oh. I broke into a smile. "You cooked? It's delicious. You should cook more often."
He flushed. "Sure."
I gazed at him as he ate. So he was still thinking of me. My heart felt lighter. "Do you want to watch a movie together? I wanted to go for an outing but it's pouring outside."
"Oh, sure. But you always fall asleep during movies."
I grinned. "Sorry. I won't sleep today. What do you want to watch?"
"Horror." He grinned back.
"Okay." I smiled happily.
We turned the lights off, set out blanket and pillows on the couch and turned the Korean horror film 'Eomma' on. He and I settled cozily on the couch with him in my arms. The movie started and I felt him leaning closer to me. Smiling, I put the blanket over him and kissed his head. He was usually the type of audience who liked to ask a lot of questions but this time, he was silent. And the movie was getting boring for me. My eyelids were getting heavy. I leaned my head against his and closed my eyes to steal a few moments.
"There. There. You are asleep again."
I opened my eyes and looked around. The movie was paused and he was staring at me with narrow eyes. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep. "I am so sorry." I said, stretching my arms in front of me. "I didn't mean to." I yawned.
He sighed. "You were the one to suggest to watch a movie."
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "Sorry. We can continue now. I won't fall asleep, I swear."
"Nevermind. I am not in the mood to watch anymore." He got out of the couch and walked to his room. I stared after him. I screwed up again, didn't I?
I didn't follow after him. I didn't know what to do anyway. I got up and turned the lights back on and turned the t.v off. I looked around and decided to do some cleaning. Kristen really did a good job with the cleaning but I cleaned again because I didn't have anything to do. And top of that, cleaning does really distract us from our thoughts.
I put the vacuum back to its place and rubbed my hands together. An idea clicked and I rushed to the kitchen. I quickly prepared the hot chocolate and stood in front of his door. I took a deep breath and knocked. I peeped my head in after a few seconds. He was on the bed with his laptop on his lap.
"Hi." I smiled and entered the room. I closed the door behind me and walked to him. He watched in fascination and surprise.
"Here. Please don't be mad at me." I said, handing him out the hot chocolate.
He placed his laptop aside and held the glass of hot chocolate with both of his hands. I took a seat beside him. "Still mad?" I asked.
He bit his bottom lip. "I am not mad at you, Kwan."
I frowned. "Then?"
He opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. He took a deep breath and sighed. He took a sip of the hot chocolate and broke into a smile. "Is this how you make up?"
I nodded. "I am sorry but I am really not good at this. I tried to make up with the other way but...never mind." I placed a smile on my face. "You can scold me. Scold me all you want."
He chuckled and placed the hot chocolate aside. He moved closer to me and reached to touch my face. "I can never be mad at you. It's just me. I thought about it a lot and no matter how much I prepare, I can't gather up the courage."
"What are you talking about?" I frowned in concern, placing my hand over his on my cheek.
He pressed his lips together. "Please don't be disgusted."
I held my breath as he reached to pull his sweatshirt up. I was confused. I couldn't understand. But then I saw it. My eyes widened at the sight. I looked back at him with questioning eyes. What had happened? He opened his sweatshirt and placed it aside.
"Wh-what happened?" I asked in concern.
"Piere burned me." He spoke in a small voice.
I reached my hand out to touch the burn mark just above the right side of his hips. He closed his eyes, gritting his teeth together. My hands traveled to his chest where there were two cigarette burns. My throat felt tight. And everything fell into places. This was the reason he was building walls. This was the reason he was avoiding most physical touches. This was the reason he asked me to turn the lights off. I couldn't believe it.
"It's-it's hideous, isn't it?" He asked, gulping down nervously.
I shook my head as tears started to blur my vision. "This was the reason you were avoiding me? Were you afraid I would be disgusted?" The mixture of rage and sadness was maddening. One hand I wanted to crush Piere and on the other hand, I wanted to just cry.
He nodded.
I exhaled. It was frustrating how much I loved him and yet he dared to have thoughts like that. "You don't have to be insecure about this, Kao. This isn't hideous at all. Don't you think anything like that." My voice broke at the end.
Tears prickled down his cheeks and in a swift movement, he pressed his lips against mine. He grabbed me by the nape of my neck and moved his lips aggressively against mine. I matched the same passion, placing my hand over his shoulder. My heart ached. Why would he think anything like that? I loved him. Scars didn't matter. Did he think I wouldn't like him with a scar? That should be his last worry. I loved him and every part of him.
I broke the kiss and pressed my forehead against his, staring into his eyes. "I don't think I can live without you anymore too."
His eyes widened in surprise and confusion.
"You told me you can't live without me when you were drunk." I explained.
He broke into an easy smile. "It's true though."
I smiled back. "I am telling the truth too." I kissed him again, pushing him to the bed and climbing on top of him.
"You are so clingy, you know." He laughed.
"Am I?"
He nodded. "Yes. Don't make me used to it. It will be hard to live alone later."
"Then don't live alone." I said, kissing his cheeks.
"Eh. Who knows if you start asking for rent from me later?"
"You can marry me. What's mine would be yours." I said, kissing his forehead.
He froze and tensed up underneath me. I leaned back and looked at him.
"Don't flatter me with jokes like that." He said with a blank face.
I leaned down to whisper in his ear. "I am not joking."
He gasped and playfully smacked my shoulder. I laughed and fell beside him. I turned my body towards him.
"Why? Don't you have any intention of getting married?" I asked. Because if you don't marry me, it will be the end of it.
"Uh I don't know. I never thought about it."
I nodded. "Well, you should think about it."
He smiled.
I turned and faced the ceiling, staring above and wandering off about how to deal with my grandpa's conspiracies.
"Hey." He called.
I turned to look at him. "Hmm?"
"Remember when we used to wake up in the middle of the night because of nightmares and then tell each other through text?" He asked.
I nodded.
"I didn't tell you this but I remember falling asleep soundly after telling you about my nightmares, like as if after I wrote it down for you, you took all my fears away. And sometimes, miraculously you would be awake at that hour too. God knows what you used to do being awake till that late. Then you would come online and talk to me. Your voice was so soft and boyish back then that I would fall asleep almost immediately." He said, eyes cloudy with memories
I smiled, remembering those days. "I fell asleep on you a lot."
He chuckled. "You did."
"Were you pissed?"
He shook his head. "Never. Instead, I liked it. It made me happy that you found peace talking to me and could fall asleep no matter how hard the day had been."
I sighed. My heart squeezed weirdly. Reminiscing the past was bittersweet when it was all filled with uncertainty and heart aches.
"Look at us now. I still can't believe we have met each other again. Maybe fate really brought us together." He smiled fondly.
"That's why stop being insecure around me. No matter how much time has passed, my feelings are as strong as it used to be back then. There is no way I am letting you go unless...you don't want me anymore."
He gasped. "Did you really say that?"
"What? About my feelings?"
"No. About me not wanting you. Gosh, I would give up anything just to be with you."
I couldn't help but blush. I didn't know what to say. I shifted closer to him and pulled him in my arms.
"Do you wanna go out for a date?" He asked.
"Sure. Where do you want to go?"
"It's still raining. Let's just go for a dinner date."
"Sure."
"Now let me go. I need to shower." He struggled out of my arms and sat up, grinning down at me.
"Then let me join you." I grinned back, wiggling my eyebrows.
He threw his head back and laugh. "That way we will never make it out of the shower."
"Why? I just wanted to scrub your back unless you have some other intention." I said, trying to appear as innocent as possible.
He shook his head, smiling broadly. "You..." He trailed off and got off the bed.
I jumped out of bed and followed after him in the bathroom.