Note: This Chapter is Re-Translated on 6 / 15 / 2025
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Chapter 4: The Einzbern Castle Deep in the Mountains
After Shinji came up with the idea of using cue cards to help the actors with their lines, things on set became just a little easier in the following days.
Unfortunately... only a little.
Having actors recite their lines properly was just one part of the puzzle. It didn't cover the many, many other problems the Fate/Stay Night film crew had to deal with.
Because when it came to filmmaking—a true amalgamation of various artistic disciplines—everything mattered.
From blocking and lighting, to sound effects and set logistics, even the tiniest misstep in any area could ruin a take.
Sure, Shinji's lack of experience directing a feature film was one obvious issue, but the real kicker?
Most of the crew were total amateurs.
It couldn't be helped. The film was being shot in Shinji's hometown of Fuyuki City, far from major entertainment hubs like Tokyo or Kyoto. The professionals were few and far between.
While Shinji managed to secure a decent cinematographer and lighting director, the smaller roles—prop assistants, extras, set hands—were mostly filled by locals.
Cheap labor, yes. Skilled labor? Not quite.
The entire production was a textbook demonstration of "you get what you pay for."
Luckily, Fate/Stay Night was a commercial action film. As long as the dialogue scenes weren't completely botched, Shinji could focus on showcasing the flashier Servant battles.
And thanks to the real deal—actual Heroic Spirits on set—the fight choreography pretty much handled itself. All Shinji had to do was set up the cameras and plan the cuts.
So even though the crew operated like a bunch of headless chickens, they were still somehow managing to get the job done… frame by frame, scene by scene.
Of course, these last few days had given Shinji a serious reality check.
Watching films, studying the craft of filmmaking—that was one thing.
Actually making a film?
A whole different beast.
The gap between the two... Well, let's just say it was like the difference between Saber Arturia's and Lancer Arturia's bust size.
Despite the endless frustrations, Shinji never once thought about giving up.
Mostly because giving up was no longer an option.
He had already poured nearly a million dollars into this single project. Not just his own funds, but also contributions from the Matou family and other cooperating magus family.
If he pulled the plug now, those same families who had bet on him would probably tear him limb from limb.
So quitting? Not happening.
Still, the slow pace and amateurish execution were a constant source of stress.
And Shinji wasn't the only one suffering.
There was also Shirou Emiya, the unfortunate homeowner who was currently hosting the entire production in his family home.
To save money on set design, Shinji had decided to go the "authentic location" route—using real places for filming.
As a result, the Emiya residence had been almost entirely taken over by the film crew.
When Shinji first pitched the idea, Shirou thought the shoot would take maybe a week, tops.
Now, it had been several weeks, and there was no end in sight.
Although the crew didn't actually live in the house, they had filled it with lights, props, and equipment.
What was once a spacious traditional home had been reduced to a cluttered film studio with barely any room to walk.
One night, Shirou got up to use the bathroom—only to find a bloody replica of himself sprawled out in the hallway.
He nearly wet himself.
Only after turning on the lights did he realize it was just a highly realistic dummy used for a death scene.
"Shinji, can't you tell your people to put that stuff away properly?"
The next morning, Shirou cornered Shinji and gave him an earful.
Shinji simply shrugged, completely unfazed. "Can't help it. That thing can't be folded. If we stuff it in a box, it'll get creases."
"Tch— If I didn't have school, I'd be heading up to the mountains to live with Dad."
Shirou's father, Kiritsugu, had long since fled the chaos, escaping to the Einzbern Castle in the mountains to enjoy some peaceful alone time with his wife, Irisviel.
Rubbing his temples, Shirou grumbled, "Thank goodness Ilya's staying over at a friend's place this week. If she saw that dummy, she'd probably cry her eyes out."
Shinji, on the other hand, just smirked.
"No way. I bet she'd walk up and kick it."
"…You might be right."
Remembering his mischievous little sister, Shirou gave a reluctant nod.
"Anyway, don't envy your dad too much."
Shinji clapped a hand on Shirou's shoulder and raised a triumphant thumb.
"Once we're done with the scenes here, I'm heading straight for the Einzbern Castle to wreak some havoc next."
"Please… go easy on the place," Shirou said, sweating nervously at his friend's enthusiastic tone.
Fortunately, while the Emiya residence was a key location in the story, it didn't feature in too many scenes.
After a few more days of hectic filming at the Emiya residence, Shinji finally wrapped up shooting there and led the crew into the mountains of Fuyuki to begin their next round of mayhem—this time, targeting the castle of one very rich family.
"We're here. This is the place."
Three large vans and two minibuses rolled to a stop at the gates of Einzbern Castle.
The first to hop off the bus, naturally, was Shinji. He wasted no time barking orders.
"All right, people! Unload the gear! I want at least one full take before the sun goes down!"
And so it was that King Arthur 'Arturia', the snake-haired Gorgon Medusa, the hound of Ulster Cu Chulainn, and the mighty Heracles—all once proud Heroic Spirits—found themselves with brand-new titles:
Movers and warehouse crew.
Shinji had discovered yet another unexpected benefit to casting Heroic Spirits as actors: free labor.
Sure, they couldn't win the Holy Grail War anymore, but compared to regular humans, their physical strength was off the charts.
Heavy lifting? Bulky equipment? No problem at all.
"You've really outdone yourself this time, Shinji-kun. Who else would think to use Heroic Spirits as a moving crew?"
Standing at the entrance to the castle, Irisviel greeted the arriving group with a cheerful smile.
"What can I say? I'm just very committed to... cost-effective management~" Shinji grinned back.
"Shinji, it's been a while."
Kiritsugu Emiya nodded curtly at him in greeting.
"Hello, Kiritsugu oji-san," Shinji said politely, reaching out to shake his hand.
Clap
Kiritsugu grasped his hand—but as he did, he leaned in and whispered with a faint, warning tone.
"Shinji. A word of advice. Work is work, but... you'd better keep your distance from Illya."
"Y-yeah… got it."
Shinji's smile twitched, his face stiffening slightly.
Not that he had any such plans, but hearing it from Kiritsugu, of all people, made it sting.
'Kiritsugu oji-san, you really don't have the moral high ground here. You eloped with your boss's daughter, remember? Who are you to lecture me about boundaries?'
Shinji held his tongue, but the sarcasm was already raging in his mind.
In this timeline, thanks to the decline of mystery and magic, the Einzbern family's homunculus tech wasn't as advanced as it was in Shinji's past life.
No synthetic wives. No artificial mothers. No perfectly humanoid puppets.
Irisviel in this world was the genuine article—an actual daughter of the Einzbern bloodline and heir to the family.
By all logic, she and Kiritsugu should never have crossed paths. After all, there was no Holy Grail War in this version of Fuyuki.
But fate, as always, had a wicked sense of humor.
Eleven years ago, during a public appearance, the Einzbern family had hired a bodyguard for their young heiress—a certain mercenary magi by the name of Kiritsugu Emiya.
It was supposed to be a temporary assignment. Just a few days.
And yet, in those few days, Irisviel fell head-over-heels for her brooding protector.
What followed was a romantic escape that had the entire Einzbern family turning the world upside down in pursuit.
In the end, Kiritsugu—who once swore he'd live a life of solitude—ended up marrying into the family.
He won the heart of a rich, beautiful noblewoman, and secured a seat at the top of the world.
'Talk about living the dream.'
Incidentally, Shinji had once heard the reason Kiritsugu adopted little Shirou was because, at the time, he genuinely thought he'd be single forever and needed someone to take care of him in his old age.
But not even a year later, the guy ran off with Irisviel.
'Talk about unpredictable. The power of the Counter Force is seriously insane.'
"Fate really is one wild ride..."
Shinji muttered under his breath with a half-smile.
Still, Kiritsugu wasn't trying to start anything. He'd only heard rumors about Shinji's... impressive exploits at the Clock Tower, and was just issuing a friendly caution.
Having delivered his warning, Kiritsugu went off with Irisviel to greet the rest of the film crew.
But someone else wasn't about to let Shinji off the hook so easily.
"Heh."
Just as Shinji was about to start directing the set construction, a smug, mocking laugh sounded from behind.
"You know, bad news really travels fast. Even Kiritsugu-san's heard all about your little scandals at the Clock Tower."
Shinji turned around—only to be greeted by the smirking face of a certain twin-tailed devil in red.
Rin Tohsaka.
Arms crossed, eyes gleaming with amusement, she clearly had no intention of letting him forget his past.