"Time's up!" Shikamaru called out as the timer hit zero on the television. "Flip your sheets over— we're moving on to the second part of the written exam."
Just as Sakura expected, Shikamaru was drawing heavy inspiration from the Chūnin Exams two years ago. Back then, the test had been about gathering intelligence in secret, but at its core, it was really all about testing their guts. This time, the goal was to evaluate how well they could communicate while separated from their teammates.
So, what would the second part focus on?
"Your team is a on a mission and the enemy spots you. In order to shake off your tail, one teammate must be left behind as a decoy," Shikamaru continued. "Who will you choose, knowing that the decoy faces certain death? Write down your answer on the reverse side of the exam sheet, but keep in mind that you will be disqualified if you do not come up with the same answer. What's more… whoever's named as the decoy will be considered killed and eliminated from the exams. You have three minutes to come up with an answer… starting now!"
…
Long ago, during the First Shinobi World War, Team Tobirama was discovered behind enemy lines and relentlessly pursued by Kumo forces. It soon became clear to them that unless one of them stayed behind as a decoy, they would surely all perish.
Among Shimura Danzō, Utatane Koharu, Mitokado Homura, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Uchiha Kagami, and Akimichi Torifu, it was Hiruzen who first stepped forward, willing to sacrifice himself for the team. But driven by the Will of Fire, the Second Hokage Senju Tobirama refused his young disciple's offer. Instead, he chose to stay behind himself, allowing the others to escape— and naming Hiruzen as his successor for his bravery and self-sacrificing spirit.
…
In Sakura's mind, the answer was clear: Sarutobi Asuma had to die for Team Asuma to live!
'No way!' snapped Ino telepathically. 'Don't go arbitrarily killing off Asuma-sensei! If someone has to be sacrificed, it should be you!'
'Didn't Asuma-sensei teach you anything?' said Sakura righteously. 'The Will of Fire is the most important thing for our village! Just accept it and let him die so we can pass, already!'
The original Sakura had written hundreds of essays on the Will of Fire during her academy years. So, when Sakura transmigrated into her empty shell, one of the first things she did was flip through the original's notes for a crash course on the hundred-and-one things every kunoichi ought to know. Naturally, that included a deep dive into the village's favourite propaganda— self-sacrifice for the next generation, and all that.
'Look, it's not as if Asuma's going to die for real…' said Sakura patiently. 'Remember the first time we went through the Chūnin exams? They wouldn't have allowed us to participate if we hadn't been in a team of three. And do you remember Shikamaru's words specifically? He never said the decoy had to be one of the three of us! If you want, we could even name Shikamaru for picking such a shitty question…'
'I don't want Shikamaru to die!' exclaimed Chōji.
'Then it's settled,' said Sakura stubbornly. 'I'm writing down Asuma's name as we speak, so I'd suggest you do the same if you want to pass. His name's written with the kanji for monkey and fly, right?'
And just like that, Asuma was killed off.
…
Meanwhile, the real Asuma was taking advantage of his students' absence to get some exercise.
"Achoo!" he sneezed, pausing his movements.
Had he caught a cold? Or was somebody badmouthing him?
"Don't stop!" moaned Kurenai breathlessly, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him in tight. "I'm so close~!"
Asuma wiped his nose and dived back under the covers to practise some more pro-wrestling moves with Team 8's leader. For him, the best breasts in the world were those he could touch! Although, that girl from Kakashi's squad was pretty hot… just how huge were they going to get…?
With that mental image seared into his brain, Asuma renewed his offensive with newfound vigour— and within seconds, he raced to completion and crossed the finish line well ahead of his competition, leaving an unsatisfied Kurenai far behind him in the dust!
"I'm tired," yawned Asuma, flipping over in bed. "Zzz…"
Kurenai: "…"
…
Three minutes later, time was up, and the results soon came out: Team 10 had passed with flying colours, with a perfect score and a dead sensei!
The applicants who cleared the written exam were then led to the playground in front of the academy, where Temari and Shikamaru stood waiting on a makeshift podium built from crates stamped with the word mikan.
Glancing around, Sakura saw that most teams were still intact, with only a few reduced to two members through self-elimination. Moreover, it seemed like the written part of the exam hadn't knocked out that many teams, either… the playground was rather crowded. Hinata, Shino, Kiba and Akamaru were still in the running, as were Sasuke, Rock Lee and Karin. No village had been completely eliminated yet, either…
"Sakura-san, Sasuke-san!" someone called out from the crowd. "Long time no see!"
"Haku!?" Sakura gasped in disbelief. "Is that you?"
For the first time, Haku stood before her not as an enemy, but as a familiar face from long ago. He had grown even more strikingly beautiful, if such a thing were possible. Beside him stood Terumi Mei with her arms crossed under her chest, and a short-haired man with a wide sword wrapped in bandages slung across his back. He was blushing furiously, desperately trying not to glance at any dangerous areas…
"That sword…" said Sakura, glancing at the long needle strapped to Haku's back. "Could that be…?"
It seemed the coup d'état had gone off without a hitch, if Kirigakure was already preparing to end its long era of self-imposed isolation. Sending Genin to participate in Konoha and Suna's joint Chūnin Exams— two of them members of the new generation of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen— meant things were very different indeed from the original timeline, where the administration had focused on repairing the long-term damage left by the Bloody Mist Policy.
"Lord Fifth entrusted me with the Nuibari, the Sewing Needle Sword," said Haku bashfully. "It's…"
"Haku!" said Mei sharply. "Even if these people are your friends, they might become our rivals in the upcoming exams!"
How shameless was the Fifth Mizukage, sending two Jōnin-level shinobi and one Kage-level kunoichi to an exam meant for Genin!? Suddenly, Sakura felt a lot less guilty for crashing the party as a Chūnin…
"Ahem!" coughed Shikamaru to catch the crowd's attention. "Too many people have passed the written part of the exams, so we'll need to cut down the number of participants before the second exam can begin."
"A messenger hawk has been sent to the Hidden Sand with these instructions," Temari continued, as Gekkō Hayate's murderer released the bird. "Only the first 30 teams to reach Sunagakure will be eligible to continue— the rest will be automatically eliminated! And just as it was in the written exam, you are forbidden to fight en route— there'll be plenty of time for that in the second part! That is all."
Sasuke tapped on his teammates' shoulders, and they took off running.
"What are you waiting for, a written invitation?" hollered Temari. "Get going, already!"
"Shit, a race, of all things!" groaned Sakura. "I didn't think I'd need to bring Military Rations Pill to an exam, either!"
Preparation is the key to success, as they say.
Sakura had cultivated a newfound hatred of running— at her size, the sheer weight of her breasts tugging on her Cooper's ligaments made jogging painful even with a heavy-duty sports bra, and she often ended up with friction burns on top of that. She could heal away the damage, naturally, but it was still unpleasant!
Moreover, it would take at least three days to cover the distance between the Hidden Leaf and the Hidden Sand. At this rate, she was more likely to starve on the way than her breasts were to pop clean off her chest…