"So Iwa was in some serious need of funds to rebuild following their Bijuu attack. Perfect opportunity for the Chunin Exams to do their job and drum them up some business, right? Well, as it turned out, Iwa had just hosted their exams two cycles ago, and guess who was next in line to host?" He crosses his arms. "Go on, guess."
...
"Konoha," The Konoha proctor says, tone weary. Whether of his sickness or the Kiri proctor, I'm not sure.
Osamu glares at his fellow proctor. "Killjoys, all of you." He turns back to us. "But yes. Konoha. Iwa's greatest rival, hands down. They were set to host the next exam, and as much as Iwa hated to send teams to a competition they'd have no chance of winning, they needed all the help they could get. They sent the most teams any village had ever sent to a foreign Chunin Exams at that time in the hopes of getting at least a few teams through to the finals.
"They all washed."
I look around me, at all the Iwa teams, and find every single one glaring at me and my teammates. The Kiri proctor notices too, laughing and pointing up at us.
"Yup, those guys right there drove all seventeen Iwa teams into the ground and sent them home without earning a single client. The Konoha teams went on to dominate the rest of the participating villages so thoroughly that the finals tournament consisted of thirteen Konoha nin and only three shinobi from Suna. They did so well that they actually took business from Iwa, leaving them even worse off than before.
"What happened next is in the history books. Iwa started grabbing at smaller independent nations for resources, and they fought back. Then they started grabbing at Suna's allied nations and it all went downhill from there. And thus the system that the five Kage instituted to prevent a Third Great Shinobi War ended up being the direct cause of it.
"So the war happened, and when the dust finally settled and all the corpses were accounted for, everyone realized that nothing had changed. Nobody came out of the war better than they went into it, and on top of the old problems that they still hadn't solved yet they now had to deal with the problems that fighting a Great War entails.
It was universally agreed that wars on that scale never accomplish anything and it would be best to avoid another in the future. Problem was, they needed an alternative to fighting for land and resources. See the pattern yet?
"Bottom line was, they needed the Chunin Exams again. But this time they needed the Chunin Exams to work. So they turned to the one nation in the world that could claim to be neutral and back that claim up no matter who challenged them." He taps a sandaled foot against the stone floor. "The Land of Iron.
"I'll spare you brats the grueling details, but suffice to say it took a helluva lot of convincing from the five Kage to get the samurai to host our dirty tournaments on a regular basis in their honorable haven. Finally they agreed, on the condition that they have the final say in all exam proposals. Even more haggling followed the official agreement, and the final result is what you see here.
"The 'lesson' here is that you're all here to make your villages look good and nothing else. Getting promoted is a happy bonus, and you'd all do well to remember that. The Chunin Exams are an alternative to war. Period."
The Konoha proctor coughs, giving Osamu a disapproving look. "They are also a promotion of cooperation between our nations."
Osamu snorts. "Whatever you say, Konoha nin." He claps his hands. "Alright! How did I do? Best speech yet? What do you guys think?"
Nobody says a word.
"And you called him a killjoy," the proctor from Kumo says, shaking his head. Osamu cackles.
"Let's get this started! Give us a match, samurai!"
A samurai steps forward from the shadows of the sunken ring, a box held in his hands. He reaches in and pulls out a slip of paper, then looks up at us. "Team 23 of Kiri, consisting of Obata Kokei, Osaka Sozen, and Koruba Sui."
"Was he telling the truth about all that, sensei?" I ask quietly while the Kiri team, a trio made up of two shinobi decked out in white and gray camo and a kunoichi in a black and white battle dress, descend one of the staircases into the ring. "About us starting the war? And none of us mattering?"
Hatake tears his narrow gaze from the Kiri jonin, giving me a reassuring eye smile. "Only technically. There was a lot more going on at the time that he glossed over, which made things a lot less clear cut than he made them out to be. As for the point of the exams? Again, he's technically right. They were created so hidden villages could compete without worrying about another war, but since they were first thought up they've become much more than that."
"Kakashi is right," Gai says, rendered uncharacteristically serious by the proctor's speech. "Just because the exams were not created for the benefit of the competitors does not mean that you will not benefit from them. Shinobi promoted through the Chunin Exams are given an advantage over those promoted in the field by default. Clients will favor them over shinobi they've never seen in action before, and they will be given precedence when applying to elite organizations such as ANBU."
"So this isn't for nothing," Sakura states, though it sounds more like a question.
Neji sighs. "Of course it isn't. That entire speech was merely an attempt to shake our resolve, nothing more."
Down below the Kiri team stands at attention in the middle of the sunken platform, and the samurai pulls out another slip of paper. "Versus… Team 1 of Suna, consisting of Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara."
A team of genin on the other side of the stadium from us heads down the staircase, and I quickly zero in on the one with spiky red hair and a massive gourd on his back. I scowl, putting the Kiri proctor's speech out of my mind for the moment. "That prick again. I was hoping he'd washed out in the first task."
"What part of trained by the Kazekage did you not understand?" Neji asks snidely. "They're one of the strongest teams here. Though if Lee and I had faced them, they would have lost all the same."
"He's not wrong," Hatake says, considering the Suna genin as they descend. "About the first part, at least. Each of those kids have received personal training from the Kazekage himself, and if what I've heard is right they've proven themselves to be well worth the effort. The youngest in particular, Gaara, is said to be Suna's pride and joy. A true heir to his father's legacy."
"Are they really that good?" Sakura asks, looking down at the ring with wide eyes.
Hatake shrugs. "I can't know for sure, of course. But I would watch this fight carefully if I were you."
Gaara's team steps up to the middle of the platform, separated from the Kiri team by a wall of jonin. Said jonin flicker away one by one, appearing crouched on the walls of the ring at various points near the top. The samurai walks up the nearest staircase, strongbox in hand, and stands at attention just beside it.
"To recap," The Konoha proctor calls, his raspy voice somehow carrying through the whole stadium. "You win when every member of the enemy team has been eliminated or forfeited. Leave the ring before one of us calls the match, and you're out."
"And when we do call the match, it is over," The Suna proctor stresses. "Do not try to pass off a parting shot after the end of the match. We will know."
"Do you understand?" The Konoha proctor asks. Both teams nod. "Good."
The Iwa proctor raises her hand. "Match one, between Team 23 of Kiri and Team 1 of Suna." Her arm drops. "Begin!"
As soon as the last syllable has left her mouth the Kiri genin explode into motion. The kunoichi and one of the shinobi leap back, flying through hand seals.
The other shinobi rushes forward, yanking a scroll from one of the pockets in his baggy clothes and tossing it out in front of him. It explodes into a cloud of chakra smoke that he runs straight through, bursting out the other side with a kusarigama in his grip.
He spins the weighted end of the chain-sickle above his head, letting it fly at Gaara's brother. Cat boy doesn't even bother dodging, simply taking a step back and allowing Temari to slide in front of him, swinging that metal slab of hers over her shoulder and cracking it open with a flick of her wrist, revealing the paper within.
Is that a fan?
She swings it with one hand as if it weighs nothing, and a gale of wind erupts from it. It hits the kusarigama, knocking it off to the side, and then it hits the Kiri shinobi. The force of it knocks him off his feet, though he's only thrown a few feet away instead of careening all the way into the opposite wall like he'd have done if I had hit him with a Great Breakthrough.
Meanwhile, cat boy retreats even further back until he's almost pressed up against the side of the ring and tears the bandaged mass of his back. He tosses it down on the ground and the bandages unravel all at once, revealing a… puppet? He raises a hand and splays his fingers out wide, and the puppet springs to life. It flies forward towards the dazed Kiri shinobi, wooden segments clattering violently.
It's crossed a little over half the distance when the Kiri shinobi and the kunoichi who had retreated at the start finish their hand seals and cry out in unison. "Storm Release: Great Dragon Bullet!"
The shinobi pulls out a trio of scrolls with one hand, the other locked in a half seal, and throws them high up in the air. Three torrents of water erupt out of them and immediately coalesce into the shape of a serpent the size of a Bijuu's tail. The monstrous construct opens its maw wide in a soundless roar and rears up to my eye level.
The kunoichi throws her hands forward and a flurry of lightning leaps out of the dragon hand seal she's still holding. It crackles through the air and sinks into the water serpent, becoming a spot of bright light beneath the surface that branches out, spreading until the entire serpent is shining and crackling with lightning energy. Then the serpent dives at the sand siblings.
...
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