"Just in time for what?" Fin asked him loudly.
Johnnny groaned, stretching his arms, "Nothing much. But don't talk to your parents about what you're about to see."
The girl beside him recoils in disgust, "What the hell are you gonna do to Asher? Oh my god... touch him?"
Fin sighed, "You should really work on fixing your trust issues, Vanessa."
She rolled her eyes, "Finnie, this guy's literally the epitome of a typical child molester. You should work on learning stranger danger, because it's obvious you don't know what the fuck that is yet."
"Language," Johnnny chirped.
"Shut up, pedo," Vanessa scowled back.
Johnnny sighed. Kids these days. They wouldn't recognize an inch of respect even if it hit them in the face.
Except, that's what basically ended up happening.
This 'respect' came in the form of a stray flying sword, which had slipped out of Asher's grasp while he was hitting the same tree he always did.
The wooden object carved a perfect arc in the air (Asher's mentor would have been proud had the disarming not been accidental), and hit Vanessa square in the middle of her youthful forehead.
"OWWW, what in the actual name of the Seven Gods?! I'll kill whoever threw that at me!" she screeched, and Johnnny immediately covered his poor old ears.
'Jesus Christ, this kid is hella annoying,' he thought to himself, then proceeded to silently laugh at the kid in question, who was now squirming on the floor with what he suspected was more wrath than pain for the injury.
Poor Asher ran to the scene, his head already bowed in an apologetic manner.
"...I-I'm very s-sorry... Please don't kill me," he near-whispered.
Johnnny groaned loudly, "No way this guy's timid... Vanessa! I thought you said this guy was a bully? What the hell happened to him?"
Vanessa shrugged her shoulders while disgustedly glaring at Asher and rubbing the spot where she had been hit, "That's what the other boys told me. Maybe the rumors were wrong. That's just the way it is with gossip- You never know if something's right or wrong."
"Oh my god, if I have to deal with one more camera-shy brat, I'll chop off their hand to force them to write the contract myself," he mumbled to himself.
The boy hurriedly bowed again, this time towards Johnnny. Asher had no idea what the word 'camera-shy' or 'contract' was, but he absolutely knew what 'chopping off their hand' was.
"Please d-don't kill me!" he burst out, nearly in tears. The other children almost felt bad for him.
Almost.
Johnnny suddenly smiled, spooking Asher, and plastered a conniving grin over his face. It was the type of expression one would describe as 'punchable'.
"You don't want us to kill you? What reason do we have to not? You're the one who threw that sword. If I were to retaliate and kill you on the spot, it would only be deemed self-defense. You get what I'm saying, right? Nobody will care if just another village boy were to go missing..." he whispered ominously, a dark glint flashing over his eyes.
Asher near-whimpered and fell back onto the ground. Vanessa had a stupid grin on her face- Johnnny was starting to think that he had come across an actual psychopath- but the less morally grey Fin seemed ready to intervene with the situation.
"...please don't kill me," was the only response the boy on the ground gave.
Johnnny clapped his hands and smiled widely once more, "Lucky for you, I have the perfect deal. It'll make both parties very happy, and doesn't involve even a drop of bloodshed."
Asher nodded eagerly. Stupid child. He should have been taught better. Oh well.
He rubbed his hands together, and immediately took out another file from his backpack, "All you have to do is sign... this, this, that, this one, yup that too, and this."
Johnnny stifled a laugh as he rapid-fired the documents from the file, resulting in pages fluttering around Asher. It would have been cinematic, had it not been for the incredibly punchable smirk on Johnnny's face.
"What's a Non-Disclosure Agreement?" Fin loudly questioned, plucking a page out of the air and quickly scanning over it.
Johnnny hurriedly snatched the file out of the annoying brat's hands and shrugged, "It's not something to concern you. All that matters is that Asher, our little friend here, signs each and every paper that's currently flying all over the place."
He turned to the very overwhelmed Asher with a placating smile while also producing a random pen from his pocket, "You don't have to worry about a single thing, Asher! Just write your name or initials on every contract that I have for you. This way, my job can be done very smoothly."
Asher gulped, and suddenly had a nagging thought that he was getting dragged into something far more dangerous than the weird incel man was initially letting on.
He shakily picked up the pen that Johnnny practically shoved into his hands and signed the first paper.
"Only 72 left to go~!" The smirking man sing-songed.
Fin sighed. Perhaps Vanessa was right. He really should stop playing with random men.
- - -
After Asher had finished signing all 73 legal documents, the sky had already turned dark. The three children soon parted ways, giving a varying level of enthusiasm as they waved goodbye to the strange man they had met that day.
He stretched, pocketed all the contracts into a file, shoved that into his bag, and slung it onto his shoulders before walking away. Ah, he had accomplished a lot for only his first day. Usually the contracts were signed at the earliest, the second day. Meryl would've been proud of him, had she monitored how fast his progress was.
Johnnny than turned to what was arguably the more pressing matter at hand. Where would he be sleeping? He hadn't had the time to pocket any money, so what exactly would he do?
Ah, he suddenly remembered something very important.
See, there were a few perks that came with being a multi-dimensional travelling cameraman, courtesy of various safety protocols that the higher-ups had conveniently put into place.
1) All funds, items, or important camera equipment could be either found or stored away inside a hidden pocket of his fraying black backpack. Unfortunately enough for Johnnny, he had ran from Meryl before she or anyone else had the chance to provide him with whatever was of monetary value in this universe. Basically? He was broke.
2) His strength would grow closely with the main characters, but always be a slight step above them. This ensured the safety of the characters he filmed, lest they fall into a situation beyond their current power level. But, it also wasn't fool-proof, so Johnnny couldn't take over the world or something. After all, his job was to only observe and create a show that people would enjoy watching, not world domination or anything. That wasn't really his thing, anyways.
3) If Johnnny ever sensed that he was in mortal danger, he would activate a small controller in his pocket. Aptly named the Device™, it would activate immediately if it detected that his life was ever in grave danger, and would promptly transport him back to headquarters. At least, that was what was supposed to happen. Johnnny himself had never triggered the Device™, so he had no way of confirming whether it even actually worked or not.
Despite these considerable bonuses, troubles still managed to arise. Mainly because of his own actions, but no one needed to know the fine-print of how things had got to such a dire point.
Baseline was- he was broke. Not even a dime to his name.
Well, desperate times called for desperate measures.
Johnnny just settled on curling up against a brick wall facing the village square. If someone kicked him out, he'd just move to another spot and continue sleeping. What a genius solution.
- - -
He'd been dozing off for approximately three and a half hours before the first person interrupted his precious slumber. It was a local sheriff, probably about to get very pissed at him.
The sheriff harumphed with the air of someone who thought that he was far more important than he really was, and made sure to tap on his shiny badge before talking, "Ahem. I'm afraid you can't be sleeping here, sir. The village square is off-limits for the homeless. I suggest you either walk into the nearby shelter, or scram."
As much as Johnnny wished to punch the oddly-fat looking man in front of him, he held back and put on a genial smile, almost as if he wasn't just caught sleeping on the ground, "Of course! Very sorry to bother you. I'll be right on my way."
Besides, even if he were to punch the sheriff, Johnnny was only as strong as the main characters of the show. And currently, none of them were particularly strong. Not enough for him to punch the sheriff and survive being a wanted fugitive, anyways.
He sighed and started to walk away. There was absolutely no way he was stepping into the shelter, especially since he didn't have any healing-related items or abilities yet. That was practically a death wish. Who knew what kinds of dangerous diseases festered inside that place?
And so he walked through the small rows of houses that made up the village. Then he settled on a particular hut, and crawled inside via an open window.
Once again, desperate times called for desperate measures.
And his beauty sleep was not about to be disturbed again.