Little Bowl pointed out the conflict in my thoughts, and for a moment, I didn't know how to explain it to her. But as far as my inner feelings are concerned, there is actually no contradiction.
Firstly, I believe that I have a responsibility towards Mazao.
Saying it is "responsibility" might not quite capture what I truly want to express and might sound lofty, but I cannot find a more appropriate word at the moment. "To protect Mazao from Ming Zhuo" is not a task formed by pressure for me. In short, I think it is necessary and I am also willing to protect Mazao.
Therefore, even though pursuing my dream holds a higher place in my heart than Mazao, I find it hard to bear the pursuit of my dream at the cost of abandoning Mazao.
If I return to the modern world and lay things bare to Mazao, telling her we will become enemies and part ways, that wouldn't be "escape" but "facing up". though it would be very painful, I can accept this outcome.
