Were back in my apartments at the residential commons, I folded our dirty clothes and put them into a basket. My stomach curled and was protesting against the abuse I put it through. I chuckled at the thought that I would do something like that regularly in my twenties.
"- !" One thought left me as fast as I got it . I tried to force it back. I let my thoughts wander and managed to seize it the second time it surfaced. How should I know that I'm beyond my twenties? I definitely feel stiffer and. Older? I looked at my phone to double check and immediately regretted it. I just felt depressed.
For a short moment I could see the light and why such a beautiful time age measurement system was invented and decided that I'm thirty one years old plus two "x".
I shook my head to clear it of such intrusive thoughts.
"You're done yet, or do you plan on joining me? "Kira asked in the doorway to the bathroom.
"... No." I looked at our clothes and my aching stomach. "You can go first, I'll prepare everything and then go after you." I still had to clean my replacement clothes for today after this, but i'd rather suffer one more time than face the alternative.
Luckily, like all things within the Directorate, the staff in the lobby was able to handle nearly everything, I only had to hand them my card and room number and they handled the cleaning part of my clothes and delivered them soon enough.
Back in the Kitchen I started to prepare a meal. I took my knife out of the drawer and its fine cutting edge reflected the light back to me terribly inefficient for combat. But it will suffice for meat, vegetables and fruits. I shook my head again, the last days must have been too exhausting when my thoughts wander like that.
In the grand scheme of things, the only option is a stew. I can let it brew while I clean myself and Kitten is more than able to stir it and reduce the heat if push comes to shove. "Kitten…" No good, I felt terrible again.
I laid the first piece on the cutting board and started preparing the meal. The sound of meat giving away and steel cutting through until it hit the wooden cutting board echoed through my silent apartment.
Even when I was done with cutting and watching stew brew, I still felt down. It wasn't the first time someone had been lost and forever out of reach. But "Kitten," but losing her is different. It's deeper inside of me and left an aching cold hole.
I walked over to my work table and searched beneath it for my lame stick in its hidden compartment. I cleaned the dust from it and looked to see if it had any charge left. Obviously beyond the recommended time of usage. I pocketed and went over to the next door and knocked.
Timothy answered again and took his coat out. Together we looked down at the city below. "Feeling better now?" Timothy asked.
"Conflicted. I don't want to imagine how excruciatingly painful it is to live as long as you do." I flicked my lame stick around for emphasis and he took a charge out of his coat's chest pocket. The battery lit up when I inserted it and I took one grateful deep breath.
Not the normal amount of overwhelming stimulation of the first time taking it overcame me, it was a microdose. "Saving on me?"
"You don't want to end like those corpses in human bodies who work and then take doses wasting their lives away. They're on their way to become Technocrats Faction assets when they lose any semblance of worth in society."
Timothy took a deep breath himself.
"I'm sorry for what I did."
"Be better." He answered. We looked together down at the streets, few people were here and there. The occasional car or public transport shot by, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Time went on, slowly. Minutes stretched like an eternity on a synthetic height. "Have you eaten today?" Timothy asked.
"Not yet, it's brewing."
"Good, you have to take care of yourself at some point. Nobody knows how long Kira will put up with a husband who forgets all about her every so often."
"It would have been better if I died that day?" I mused.
"Everyone would have lost your skills and capabilities. If you can't live for yourself, then maybe for the ones you still can save?" We both took another inhale of synthetic blis.
"Is that what keeps you around over the centuries?"
"Might be, for once I have the pleasure to be married. And that to a larger-than-life figure, probably literally with how Sabine is."
For the first time this evening, we chuckled. The star we orbited was slowly inching away in the east until it would hide away and reappear in thewest in tandem with the beginning of a new day.
"Kyle?"
"Yeah."
"Take it in."
"What?"
"Take it in, what it means to live. Others gave their lives for the Directorate believing that it mattered and they won't be forgotten. Nobody has to be a legend. For once, why don't you indulge in the married life? Kira is able to put up with you for now. Perhaps you should start the part and try to be a husband."
"Are those the words of a distinguished hero looking back at his life?"
"Those words are a reminder of a mortal life."