"Papa, Mama, how did you two get together?"
The red-haired girl asked her parents, looking puzzled.
Both of them glanced at each other before speaking.
"Well, actually, I met your dad when we were still in school, your dad—"
"Me and your mom went through the Holy Grail War with seven Masters and seven Servants, each of a different class: Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Caster, Assassin, Berserker. Saber was the Servant I summoned, while your mom summoned a tsundere version of me that people call Mama Archer. Each class has its own traits: Saber shoots beams and eats a lot, Archer launches atomic bombs and Arash, Lancer dies the most in all three routes, Rider is a magnet for bad luck, Caster uses weapons better than their own magic, Assassin always gets stuck with the villain role, and Berserker is mostly sane. My Servant was super strong, and your mom even admired her and called her Baeber. She called me 'son,' Archer didn't like me, and Archer Alter didn't like him either, I—"
"Shirou, what the fuck? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Dad, is Baeber strong?" the girl asked innocently.
"Of course, honey, your mom is super strong!"
"Wait, what?" Her mom glared at her dad, making him cough a few times before turning to their daughter.
"Listen, out of all the Servant classes, Saber is the strongest because they can shoot beams."
"Woaaa!! So cool!"
"Yeah! She eats a lot too! Burger King, you know!"
"WOAAHHH!!"
"AND I LOVES SWORDS SO MUCH!" "WOAAAAAAHHHH!!"
"AND SHE AND I DID A MANA TRANSFER WITH YOUR MOM TOO!" "WOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
And so, her mom kicked her dad repeatedly. It took him three hours to get back up.
That's why she wants to have Baeber...
***
Gudako opened her eyes and stood up, her body still intact.
The explosion from the battle was insane, but thankfully, her plot armor had protected her. Thanks, author! (No problem.)
"MASHU? OLGA? HUSBANDO? LANCER?? WHERE ARE YOU??" Gudako shouted, even though that might attract monsters.
…No one answered.
"Greato desu yo, koitsu wa," Gudako sighed, wandering around.
After walking for a bit, she spotted a familiar-looking hand sticking out from the ground.
"Oh, it's Olga."
Grabbing Olga's hand, Gudako pulled with all her might to yank her out of the dirt.
"Phew… So heavy! Why don't you just change your name to Yuuka already?!"
"I swear to God, if you keep spouting irrelevant nonsense, I'll fire you!" Olga snapped, her eyes glaring at Gudako.
"Nani?! The Director's still alive?!"
"I'm not Lancer, you idiot!!"
"Alright, alright, I'll use all my strength to save you."
Gudako took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and then opened them.
"STAR PLATINUM!"
A spirit appeared behind Gudako, leaving Olga utterly bewildered.
"ORA!"
The spirit grabbed Olga's hand and pulled her out.
Olga froze, watching the spirit vanish into thin air.
"Phew, any more of that, and I'd get slapped with a copyright strike…"
"I have SO many questions!!"
"Oh look! Who's that?!"
"Stop dodging my questions!!"
From the distance, someone approached, carrying a girl and a pet.
"Yo, everyone still alive?"
It was Caster! His clothes were completely tattered.
"LANCER!! YOU ALMOST GOT US ALL KILLED!!" Olga stormed over, pointing at Caster.
"Well… sorry? Saber was just too strong, you know?"
"You think an apology fixes this?!"
"Is Mash okay?" Gudako asked.
"She's fine. Taking a Noble Phantasm from two Servants and still protecting both of you means she's got some serious potential," Caster said, setting Mash and Fou down. They were okay.
"So… where's Nura?"
"Did you forget you can talk to your Servants through your mind?"
"Oh…"
So Gudako called out to Nurarihyon in her thoughts, waiting for a response.
'Oh, Master, you're not hurt, are you?'
'NURA! ARE YOU OKAY??'
'Saying I'm fine would be a lie… but meh, I'm recovering. Give me a few minutes, and I'll probably be ready to fight again? I guess.'
'Where are you?'
'You don't need to find me. This isn't over yet.'
'Huh? What do you mean?'
The heavy clank of armor made all three of them widen their eyes.
Caster glanced toward the sound, smiling nervously while sweating.
After all, he'd used up everything he had. Another fight now would definitely end in defeat.
"Oi oi… The monster's still alive…" Saber wiped the blood from her mouth and looked at each of them.
"It seems you're out of strategies, huh? In that case, I'll end you as painlessly as possible."
"No thanks."
'NURA, NURA, NURA!! WHAT DO I DO?!' Gudako panicked.
'…Sigh, hold on, I'll be there in a sec.' Saber raised her sword, ready to charge.
Suddenly, her instincts kicked in, and she swung her sword backward in a wide arc.
It hit nothing…
"Sorry, I'm a bit late."
Nura appeared right beside Gudako, resting his elbow on her shoulder.
His legs weren't fully healed, but the fact that he could move at all showed how fast he was recovering.
"Assassin, I don't think we can take Saber," Caster whispered, stepping closer to Nura.
"Yeah, no kidding. That's why we're going with this plan."
"What plan?" Gudako turned to ask.
"Summoning, obviously."
…Summoning?
Summoning??
Gacha?!
GACHAAAA?!
"Olga! Bring Mash's shield here! Caster and I will hold Saber off! Master, you've got to summon a new Servant if we're gonna have any chance against her!"
"Huh?! Oh, okay!"
"Don't even think about it!" Saber charged, her sword glowing with mana.
"Caster, get behind me."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Just get behind me!"
Caster hesitated but stood behind Nura.
Suddenly, he felt himself getting stronger?!
"This is—?!"
Saber lunged with a powerful slash. Nura spun his katana to block the attack.
That single blow pushed Nura back significantly—he really couldn't hold out much longer.
Caster fired rune magic at Saber, who was surprised to see the runes moving faster than before.
'Does this have something to do with Assassin? If so, I need to take him out first!'
Meanwhile, Gudako held a pile of Saint Quartz, while Olga and Fou looked on nervously.
If they didn't summon a Servant to counter Saber, this would be their grave!
"Since it's Baeber, I've gotta pull an Archer. I really don't want to, but I have no choice! ARCHER, COME OUT!!!"
She threw 30 Saint Quartz—earned from daily rewards, quests, and her wallet—onto Mash's shield.
It instantly lit up like a surge of electricity.
"Nani?!"
A flurry of cards appeared, but they were all Craft Essences.
Until the final card—a Servant card! A golden one!
But this class didn't look like Archer at all.
It was… another Assassin?!
"You summoned another Assassin?! We needed an Archer!" Olga shouted.
"How was I supposed to know?! Even if I miss the class, at least it should've been Baeber! I don't need a second Assassin!!"
"Fufufu, you don't seem too pleased with me, do you?"
A gentle yet terrifying voice rang out, making Olga and Gudako turn to look.
"Thank you for kindly summoning me~ I tend to do whatever I want. You don't mind, do you?"
The figure standing before them was barely wearing anything—just a single garment, and not even properly, exposing most of her body.
She carried a large bottle of sake and a plate of fruit, but what caught everyone's attention was her horn.
"Oh? Looks like you summoned me in the middle of a battle? How fun~"
"Oh, I haven't introduced myself, have I? Assassin, Shuten Douji. Fufufu~"
'Something about her… feels really dangerous. Better keep my distance.'
That was the shared thought of Gudako and Olga the moment they saw her.