(Aerion's POV)
I looked down the cradle and saw how Visenya was sleeping, her face looked so innocent, so pure.
I slowly reached down and reluctantly patted her head, feeling how her head was so small and soft. I then ran my hand to her cheek slowly, almost jumping up when she shifted momentarily, thinking I had woken her up.
"So small....." I said, "So beautiful.....and you are mine?"
"She is." a voice said
I straightened up and looked back to see Rhaenyra standing a few feet away from me, a smile on her face as she had her hands in front of her.
"Should you not be resting?" I asked
"I feel fine." She said as she walked over, "So, you are looking at our girl?"
I nodded, "Yes."
"She is truly precious, is she not?" Rhaenyra said as she looked down at her, "What do you think?"
"About what?" I asked her
"A-Are you happy with this?" She asked, a frown forming on her face, "Is this something good? Are you satisfied with a daughter?"
"Yes." I said simply, "I already told you, you should not worry about what you give me. A child is a child, I will cherish our daughter dearly."
"But...." She said softly, "I want to please you. I do not want you to hate me."
"Why would I?" I asked
"I do not know." She said as she tucked her hair behind her ear, "I was just worried.....you did not want to hold her at first. Even now, you are reluctant to touch her."
I looked down, "You are right." I said, "That is something that is true. I...."
I raised my hands up to my chest and looked at them. Just by looking at them, I got a bit of chills. I can remember the way my hands felt, a bit numb after swinging my sword countless times, cutting through men like they were straw.
I can still hear the clashing of steel, I can smell the burning of flesh, I can see the rivers of blood that I left in my wake.
All of that is very real, it is still fresh in my mind.
And that held me back.
I do not know how to act, I do not know how to feel. I am a Father now. What am I supposed to do? Should I be the same as usual? Will I be fine if I allow myself to be distant and cold from my wife and daughter?
Is it right?
What should I do?
"Aerion." Rhaenyra's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, "Do you wish to speak of it?"
"Of what?" I asked
"The War." She said
"N-No..." I said, "There is no reason for us to do that."
"I can see it in your eyes." She said softly, "You have not left Bloodstone."
"I...." I said, "I am fine."
She grabbed my hand and walked to the bed, pulling me along with her. As she reached the bed, she sat down and patted the spot next to her.
"Sit." She told me
"A-Alright...." I said as I sat down while she still held my hand, "What is this about?"
"Shh...." She said as she pulled me into a hug, placing my face in her chest, "My sweet Aerion..."
"R-Rhaenyra?" I said as I felt the warmth of her chest, "What are you.....?"
"I know, Aerion." She said softly as she caressed my hair, "That you wanted to go to War to prove yourself. You were so eager to do so that you did not know how much it would affect you. You were but a boy. You were Ten and Two, Aerion. It was so long ago that I saw you off....that you gave me the flower.....Gods, it makes me guilty just thinking about it...."
"Why would you....why would it make you guilty?" I asked
"Because you are so young...and I am old..." She said, "But enough of that. Aerion, I know you only wanted to be seen as a true warrior, a Knight who does not need the wrath of a dragon to be respected. And I am glad to say that you've earned that.....you went through so much....and you earned the respect you have....."
I tried to pull myself away from her but she tightened her embrace, "Rhaenyra...."
"I care about you dearly." She said to my ear as she pushed my face to her chest even more, "You....you are so kind.....so gentle.....but you are a strong man....."
I felt her hand run to my shoulder, the way she caressed her hand against my body felt so chilling. She was so gentle that it felt surreal, feeling this woman's touch like this.
"You are troubled, I know. You want to tell yourself that what you went through is nothing compared to what others go through." She said, "I understand. But know this: you do not have to go through this alone. I am with you, Aerion. I am your Wife.....I am the Mother of your child.....I am yours....and you are mine."
I relaxed my body as I slowly wrapped my arms around her waist, "Right...."
"From the days you were a boy, a blunt and serious one....I had cared for you." She said softly, "And despite my doubts about our marriage....I still cared for you. Even when I....even when I had eyes for someone else. But now.....none of that matters. We are together, Aerion. I am the Heir....and you are my Consort....and when I sit on the Throne, you are to be by my side. I know I can count on you. I know that you can help me keep our Family together. I know that nobody will even dare challenge me because of you. You are all I needed, Aerion.....I realize that."
"I see...." I said softly
"And I also realize....." She continued, "That....that it is more than care that I feel for you.....I....is it wrong? Is it wrong to develop these feelings for you?"
"No." I told her
"Then why does it hurt?" She asked softly, her voice trembling
"It should not." I told her
"I want to be a woman, I always wanted that...." She kissed my head, "And you made that happen....I am a Mother...I have a child.....and I want more....I want so many more...."
"I will grant you that wish." I told her, "If you want it so."
"I do not just want to fulfill things for myself." She said, "I genuinely want to make you happy. I want you to be pleased, I care about what you want."
I closed my eyes as I felt the softness of her chest press against my face, "Do not worry about me."
"I want you to know, Aerion, that you should not let those memories hold you back. I want you to know that you are now what you wanted to be." She said softly, "You are a Man....you are a Knight...you are a Father now.....so please....please do not hesitate in holding our daughter....."
"I will try." I said
"Thank you." She kissed my head again, "I wish for you to keep me company tonight....."
"Hm...." I said, "I quite like this position you placed me in."
She chuckled, "Do you, now?" She asked, "Do you want to sleep like this?"
"If my Princess desires it...." I said,
"So be it."