Chapter 90
Regina, Cher, and Laura showed up at the house less than an hour later.
"Hi Jake, I brought reinforcements," Regina said brightly, gesturing to Cher and Laura.
Laura chuckled. "I think she means Cher. I don't have much knowledge when it comes to fancy parties..."
"Hey, girls," I greeted them with a smile. "Come on in—join my uncle and dad on the couch. They've been waiting for backup."
Everyone settled on the couch, making room as I pulled out the guest list and a printed copy of the suggested menu Grandma had given us. I handed them over to Regina, who immediately began scanning the pages with sharp eyes.
"So it's a party for around 45 people... pretty manageable," she said, glancing over the guest list.
"Your grandma has good taste," she added, nodding approvingly at the menu.
Alan and Charlie exchanged glances.
"Well, I think I know what kind of party your grandma wants," Cher said thoughtfully.
Regina nodded. "She wants it to be a step above everyone else's on the list, but without going overboard."
Charlie blinked, clearly not getting it.
I leaned over and clarified with a smirk, "Grandma wants to show she's the superior one—just with a touch of fake humbleness."
I continued, "She doesn't want an over-the-top party that makes the guests feel intimidated and start whispering about how stuck-up she is. She wants something that quietly says she's above them. Envy—but not too much envy."
"Yes, that feels like our mother..." Alan and Charlie said at the same time, both nodding knowingly.
After a while, Regina finally said, "I got the food service."
"I got the party decoration," Cher added right after, confidently.
"Party decoration?" Uncle Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," Cher replied. "We need everything to resemble her. It's her party. She needs to be the center of attention."
She continued, "So we're going to put a large photo of your mom right here in the living room, and scatter some pictures of her with you two around the house—showing what a wonderful mother she is."
Alan and Charlie exchanged glances again.
"You do have a photo with her, right?" Cher asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Well..." Charlie said, trying to remember.
"I might have one in one of those boxes," Alan added thoughtfully.
---
The day of the party arrived, and the house had been transformed. Everything was in place—subtle lighting, elegant drapery, beautifully arranged tables, and soft classical music playing in the background. The air smelled faintly of fresh flowers and expensive candles.
Charlie walked up to me, glancing around at the impeccable setup. "Your friends really know what they're doing," he said, visibly impressed.
I smiled, watching as Regina gave instructions near the catering table and Cher adjusted a centerpiece like it was a fashion accessory. Laura was greeting guests at the door like she'd been born for it.
"Yeah," I said.
Soon enough, it was my turn to help with the greetings. I stepped beside Laura at the door, straightened my shirt, and offered a practiced smile to the arriving guests.
"Jake. Jake Harper," I said smoothly, shaking hands as people entered, doing my best impression of someone who had been hosting formal parties for years.
That was, until one man stepped forward with a wide grin and offered his hand.
"Phil. Phil Dunphy."
I blinked for a moment, caught slightly off guard by the name, but quickly recovered and shook his hand politely.
Inwardly, I couldn't help but think, Now it's Modern Family? Isn't it getting a little crowded in here?
I remembered watching a few seasons of that show. They're a funny family, I thought. I wouldn't mind hanging around them. But the thing is, I'm not some creepy who would stalk them just to show up out of nowhere and try to insert myself into their lives. They're funny—but not worth lowering myself like that.
The gay couple are good, but one of them is way too much of a drama queen for my taste. Jay and Gloria would probably be the best to hang with—Jay's blunt, and Gloria's chaos is entertaining. Claire would be fun just to annoy her. Then there are two dumb kids, a grampa kid, and one who thinks way too highly of herself.
Haley Dunphy is cute, yes. But that's it. Not a single standout quality. Popularity? High school popularity... not worth much. But still, I wouldn't mind kissing her, to be honest.
Yeah, if they crossed my path, I wouldn't object to interacting with them. But I wouldn't force it or make any effort to make that happen.
Not worth it.
Laura suddenly appeared beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts. "What are you thinking so deeply about?"
"About you," I replied without blinking.
Laura laughed. "Don't you have any shame lying like that?" she said, playfully slapping my arm.
"How do you know it's a lie?" I asked.
"Woman's intuition," she replied with a smirk.
"Now you're the one bullshitting me..." I said
Just then, Evelyn appeared, walking in with Alan by her side.
---
That night, Alan, Charlie, and I were sitting on the couch while Evelyn stood in front of us, wearing a radiant smile.
"I need to say, I wasn't expecting much... but you really surprised me," she began.
"The photos, what a brilliant idea! You should've seen Jenna's face. And when I received that beautiful bouquet of flowers? Did you see Elena's reaction?"
She continued like that for a while, her voice full of praise (her mouth, however, dripped with poison), before finally saying her goodbyes—still smiling and tossing out compliments on her way to the door.
"I don't think our mother deserved that much..." Alan said quietly.
"Yeah, it's like we just did a good deed for Satan," Charlie added.
"Did you two prefer her being angry instead?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
They both thought for a second and said, "Definitely not!"
"If you don't have many options, just pick the lesser evil," I murmured
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