That day, I was sitting in the palace garden.
Not because I was invited—I got lost.
Again.
After the border town incident, the soldiers brought the "Anonymous informant" to the royal capital for protection.
They said I'd be "processed according to protocol."
Which apparently meant: fed well, parked in a garden, and forgotten.
Valmor was chill about it too.
Legs stretched out, chewing the palace grass he claimed was softer than a mattress.
"When are we escaping?" he asked, rolling a leaf with his tongue.
"After I figure out what seasoning the royal kitchen uses. Their rice tastes like a life decision done right."
Everything felt...
weirdly peaceful.
Until I overheard two palace maids whispering in a way that even the walls probably wanted to intervene:
"Tonight, it starts. A slow coup. The queen will get 'sick' by morning, and the little prince will 'trip' into a well. Got it?"
The other maid replied while stirring her tea:
"Got it. But I'll still make them sweet tea. Gotta keep our sins mild."
I bit my spoon. Slowly.
"Valmor," I whispered. "We're sitting in the middle of another coup."
Valmor looked over. "Do you still think your life is normal?"
"I'm starting to think it's a curse."
I backed away slowly.
But of course, my fate didn't let me walk out just like that.
I was stopped by a palace guard who suddenly popped out from behind a bush.
(Why do they always come out of bushes?)
"Did you hear anything?"
"Me? No. I'm deaf. I eat while I think. I was contemplating my future."
"What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here? Who's more suspicious, really?"
He frowned.
But before we could argue further, suddenly...
GONGGGG!!!
The alarm went off. Palace gates locked. Armed guards on high alert.
One of the king's advisors was caught trying to poison the queen's tea.
Tea!
Again!
A TEA!!
I ran to find Valmor.
"Horse! We gotta go. Now."
"But I haven't finished eating the grass."
"I'll replant it outside. Move!"
We escaped through the back kitchen, past a chef wiping a golden spoon while singing a love song.
Outside, I stood looking at the palace from afar.
A small fire started in the eastern wing. Screams, magic, and possibly... a prince who did fall into a well. Who knows.
Valmor stood beside me.
"So you failed as an informant, failed as an NPC, and now you're a witness again?"
I hugged the bread roll I managed to steal on the way out.
"Valmor... sometimes I think God didn't create me to live. He created me to watch."
He nodded wisely.
"At least we have breakfast."