I stared blankly outside the window, my eyes lost in the darkness beyond. The sky was vast, endless, but it felt just as empty as I did.
The streetlights flickered in the distance, casting a faint glow over the lonely road. I could barely see anything past the mist forming on the glass. Was it this cold outside? Or was it just me?
It didn't matter.
I had shut myself off from the world.
Not just today. Not just yesterday. For a long time now.
And I knew it.
"You're doing it again," the voice whispered.
I blinked. Doing what?
"Locking yourself away. Pretending none of this exists. Pretending that you don't care."
I clenched my jaw. I didn't want to hear this.
"Tell me," the voice continued, "Do you still remember YaoYao?"
I flinched.
Of course, I remembered her.
But the voice didn't stop.
"Do you remember how she used to call you beautiful every morning?"
My fingers tightened into a fist.
"Do you remember the way she laughed at your bad jokes, even when no one else did?"
A lump formed in my throat.
"Do you remember how she never gave up on you?"
My breath hitched.
Of course, I remembered.
I remembered everything.
The way she used to hold my hand and drag me to places I never wanted to go—only for me to realize later that I needed to be there.
The way she smiled at me, her eyes full of warmth, even when I had been distant.
The way she stayed… even when I tried pushing her away.
I swallowed hard, my chest tightening with a familiar pain.
"She loved you," the voice whispered. "And you left her."
Tears welled up in my eyes.
"Why?" the voice asked.
I had no answer.
All I had was regret, clawing at my heart like a beast that refused to let go.
I remember...
I remember when I used to be happy.
Back in the days when the world didn't feel so cold, when my heart wasn't drowning in regret. Life felt lighter then, like a sky without storms. I had dreams—big dreams.
And YaoYao was always a part of them.
I used to dream of giving her everything—the best I could offer. A life filled with joy, laughter, and love. I wanted to be the one to protect her, to make sure nothing ever hurt her. I wanted to stand by her side, no matter what.
But now...
Now, all I could do was stay in this miserable hell.
This world, to me, was nothing but a prison—a place where pain clung to my soul like a shadow that never faded.
I leaned against the cold wall, staring at the ceiling as bitter thoughts consumed me. What happened to those dreams?
I let them die.
Just like I let YaoYao slip away.
"She believed in you," the voice whispered again, its tone softer than before.
I shut my eyes, trying to block it out.
"She trusted you."
A sharp pain stabbed through my chest.
"And yet, you let your fears push her away."
I bit my lip, feeling the weight of my own choices crushing me.
"You used to dream of giving her happiness," the voice continued, "but have you ever thought about what she wanted?"
I stiffened.
"Maybe..." the voice trailed off, almost hesitant, "all she wanted was you—the real you. Not the one who ran away."
Tears burned at the corners of my eyes.
The truth hurt. It always did.
But it was too late now, wasn't it?
All I could do was sit here in my misery, trapped in a world that no longer felt like home.
The room was silent except for my unsteady breathing. The voice had gone quiet for a moment, letting the weight of its words settle in. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand, but the ache inside me remained.
Then, just when I thought it had finally left me alone, it spoke again.
"You could push your family and friends away all you want," it said, its tone lighter this time, almost amused. "But I never thought you'd lock me up in a dungeon inside your own head."
I frowned. What?
"Yep," the voice continued. "You threw me into the darkest corner of your mind, locked me away, and left me to rot."
I blinked, taken aback.
"If it weren't for God breaking me free from your imprisonment, I wouldn't even be here right now—helping you get things together."
For the first time in a long while, I laughed.
It was small, almost unfamiliar, but it was real. A tiny crack in the walls I had built around myself.
"See?" the voice teased. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
I sighed, shaking my head. "You're unbelievable."
"And you're stubborn," it shot back. "Now, go to sleep. It's late."
I rolled my eyes. "Do you even care about me, or do you just want to torture me in another dream?"
The voice chuckled softly.
"You'll find out soon enough."
And just like that, the conversation faded into silence, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again.
But this time...
The loneliness didn't feel as suffocating.