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Chapter 38 - Chapter 38: Self-Punishment, Self-Blame, & Self-Hatred

A few days passed by after the terrible news of Lisanna's death, and a funeral was eventually held for her, which was the only time we happened to see Mira and Elfman. The whole Guild attended the funeral except for Gildarts, as he was on the one-hundred-year quest, and there was no way to get in contact with him; even others who were in the midst of doing quests had stopped and immediately returned home when they got the news. As Fairy Tail stood within the cemetery, standing around a singular grave, no words were spoken, only silence.

However, eventually, it was broken by Gramps, who stepped forward from the crowd. "Let us return to the Guild, give Lisanna the tranquility she now deserves." Said Gramps softly as he looked at Lisanna's grave one final time before turning around and walking away, prompting most of the guild to follow, though a few stayed behind, including me. Though the ones who stayed behind also eventually left one by one until it was just Mira, Elfman, and me, none of us had spoken a word, and the two siblings embraced each other while it rained, soaking our bodies.

"You don't have to stay, Cooper." Said Mira softly as she wiped her tears while glancing at me, though I didn't respond and continued to silently stare at Lisanna's grave. "It's not you're fault, big bro… It's mine." Muttered Elfman quietly as he hung his head in shame, and I knew why he blamed himself, as how Lisanna died was known to all; still, I didn't blame him, no, I blamed myself. I proclaimed myself as Lisanna's big brother, the shield that would protect her and the person she could always go to, yet, here I was standing over her grave; it infuriated me to no end. My older sister sacrificed her life for mine, yet I wasn't able to do the same; if that was the case, did I even deserve to be their big brother?

Digging my nails into my skin, drawing blood, I continued to silently stand before Lisanna's grave well into the night; by the time I finally left the cemetery, it was the morning of the next day. However, instead of returning to the guild, I walked down the streets of Magnolia before arriving at a specific house, which I entered by quietly prying the window open. Stepping into the room, I spotted Mira soundlessly sleeping; as for Elfman, I heard him showering; lifting Mira out of the bed, I tossed her over my shoulder before kicking open the bathroom door, where Elfman quickly covered his genitals using his hands. 

"B-Big bro, what are you doing here!?" Yelled Elfman loudly as he eyed me through the glass door while Mira awoke from his voice. "S-Stop yelling Elfman… Eh, B-Big bro, what are you doing?" Asked Mira in confusion as she rubbed her eyes before glancing at me while I stabbed my hand through the glass wall and grabbed Elfman's shoulder, only to toss him over my other shoulder. Refusing to answer the sibling's questions, I hopped out the same window I used to enter and sprinted down the street until we left Magnolia; only then did I use my magic, massively strengthening myself as I ran at my maximum speed, moving faster than any magical carriage.

The siblings constantly asked me questions initially, but after they realized I wasn't answering them, they stopped and just silently lay on my shoulder. A few hours passed as we traveled across Fiore until we arrived at a random plain far away from any form of civilization; tossing the two siblings off my shoulder, they landed on their feet while Elfman continued to hide his genitals. "Why did you bring us out here, Big Bro? Also, can I have some clothes!?" Asked Elfman with a frown as he eyed me, prompting me to give him my clothes. "Um, thanks?" Nodding at Elfman, I waited for him to put on my clothes before suddenly appearing in front of him and punching his face, causing him to skid across the ground.

"B-Big bro!?" Yelled Mira in confusion as she looked at me, prompting me to kick her stomach, flinging her near Elfman, while I arrived near them before squatting beside them. "Do you two know how I felt when my village was destroyed? Sadness, immense sadness… Then anger. Overflowing anger that I unleashed upon hundreds upon hundreds of beasts." Gently tapping the ground, they raised their heads and looked at me. "We're not angry, big bro, just sad… So, can you stop this?" Asked Mira softly as she lowered her head while Elfman bit his lip while remaining quiet, causing me to lightly nod.

I wasn't stupid enough to believe her words; besides, even if on the off-chance she was true, I'd just make her angry. "Then I'll transform your sadness into fury and take the brunt of it." Without waiting for a response, I grabbed both Elfman and Mira's heads before slamming their faces together and tossing them into the distance; chasing after the two, I kicked Mira into Elfman, knocking them even further into the distance and causing blood to leak from her mouth, yet even so, neither seemed interested in fighting back. "C-Can you stop this big bro?" Asked Elfman softly as he aggressively coughed while looking at me, causing me to narrow my eyes.

"Tsk, is this all you amount to, Elfman? I thought you were a man, but I guess you can only kill those weaker than you, like your sister… Pathetic." Spitting on the ground while eyeing Elfman, who hung his head in shame instead of getting mad, though my words weren't completely useless. "Stop it, big bro… Elfman already has enough to deal with." Stated Mira sternly as she narrowed her eyes at me, causing me to faintly smirk. "You're her elder brother, Elfman, yet you let her die… Do you even have the right to call yourself her elder brother? You're just a waste of fucking space; you should've been the one to die, not her!" While my cruel words only served to sadden Elfman further, it did the opposite for Mira as she stood up in front of him with an angry expression.

"Cooper! Stop it!" Yelled Mira angrily while glaring at me. "Perfect chance, Elfman! Mira has her back to you; use this chance to attack her! You'll have killed both your sisters!" Pointing at Mira, I looked at Elfman, only for Mira's leg to dig into my stomach, forcing me back while I shifted my gaze to her. "Fucking shut up, Cooper!" Said Mira furiously while I lunged forward, slamming my fist into her face. "Heh, as if you're any better, Mira! You carelessly watched your little brother murder your little sister; so much for being an S-class Mage, all that strength, and for what? You couldn't do a single thing!" Dodging Mira's kick, I grabbed her leg and slammed her into the ground, while she quickly regained her bearings and flipped onto her feet.

"I-It wasn't Mira's fault." Said Elfman, though I hardly paid him any mind as I fought against Mira, treating her like a ragdoll as I slammed my knee into her chest. "Heh, you're an S-class mage, one of the strongest in Fairy Tail, yet you couldn't do a basic job like protecting your own family; you're a joke, Mira!" Taking a knee to the face, I outstretched my hand and grabbed Mira's face before digging my fist into her stomach, causing her to cough blood as she skipped across the ground like a stone on water. However, I wasn't able to follow up as Elfman had leaped onto me from behind, wrapping his limbs around my arms and giving Mira the chance to use her Take Over magic to transform into Satan's Soul. With a flap of Mira's wings, she swiftly neared me before kicking my stomach, causing me to wince in pain as I was flung across the ground; although I was stronger than Mira, when she used her magic I was at a clear disadvantage, and while I could've used my own, there was no point… This was punishment, after all.

"Heh, no wonder Lisanna died; you two teamed up to kill her, and now you're going to do it to another family member; well, guess what? I'm not as weak as she was… Give it your all!" With a feral grin, I once again provoked them, causing Elfman to transform into a large, reddish monster with yellow horns jutting out from his forehead and shoulders, causing me to smile slightly since it seemed like he somehow managed to gain control of the monster; his rage must've been suppressing the monster's soul.

No words were further exchanged as the three of us engaged in a violent brawl for a few hours, and throughout the whole fight, I hadn't once used my magic, essentially making me nothing but the siblings punching bag as Mira alone was too much to handle and adding Elfman didn't help; however, I fought through the injuries and pain and continued accepting my punishment. There was nothing I could do to atone or redeem myself for my massive failure, but that didn't mean I'd just allow the two siblings to wallow in their sadness; the loss of a family member was brutal, and I knew how much it could change someone as I'd had first-hand experience and I didn't want that from either of them.

"I-Is that all you two… Got?" Spitting a clump of blood onto the ground, I rubbed my bloody chest covered in deep gashes before realigning my dislocated shoulder while eyeing Elfman and Mira, who were both somewhat wounded, though not nearly as badly as I was.

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I know some of y'all will have a field day next chapter, just remember what I said a few chapters ago.

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