Dasch: how come you haven't finished that jerky.
Dude: it's taking longer than i thought.
Dasch: you never let me help finish it.
Dude: no chance man. it's not for doggies like you.
Dasch: they all look the same. the one for me and yours.
Dude: look jerkies for different customers.
Dasch: why not make ones for both of us.
Dude: it musn't be impossible. i think it's coz it could get little tricky. like they gotta figure out what tastes good for both. it's already difficult enough to satisfy one side.
Dasch: hmm. 'kay. anyhow. what's your jerky made out of.
Dude: it's gotta be some meat. not sure whether pork or beef.
Dasch: i honestly don't know for mine either.
Dude: probably it's better we don't know. you know it gets graphic and visual whenever you eat it. just imagine, how bad it would get if it's especially chewy.
Dasch: ughh. you've already set the stage.
Dude: i mean we're good cause we still don't know. let's never know.
Dasch: however, i can't stop but guessing. since i don't know.
Dude: you can't get trapped in that. you gotta get out of there.
Dasch: it's like there's series of animal flashcards passing by and turning up and down!
Dude: i think you may have played too much cardgames.
Dasch: how could i be playing cards. i have freakin paws that can't flip one for thousand years.
Dude: don't take it offense. i just never underestimate you. i mean you talk fine and live in this house fine. that makes you as same as me. i don't think there's any less you can do than me.
Dasch: but paws are paws. man.
Dude: i mean couldn't you stamp on it and then press it down with your snout.
Dasch: it can stick to my snout and get real messy is what i'm saying. you think i haven't tried to run casino nights with my pals?
Dude: okay now. forget all that card flipping. who are these pals? and casino? what's this madness?
Dasch: i've my gang. we hold meetings. unbeknownst to you.
Dude: but how?
Dasch: don't be naive to ask that.
Dude: i mean what's the harm of sharing that.
Dasch: it's like that jerky. you shouldn't know too deeply.
Dude: i mean okay. so it's jerky-dential.
Dasch: yes if you have to try that hard to come up with a term.
Dude: you know i can't be sharing anything you tell me. people don't believe dogs talk.
Dasch: i'm more worried what you would do afterwards than others knowing about it.
Dude: look at me. i can't even finish my jerky. i'm in this couch with ass stitched to it. how dangerous could i be?
i can't move that well.
Dasch: i know you're pretty much handicapped. i still can't trust your couch-sitting ass.
Dude: as i confirmed, it my ass is couch-stitched.
Dasch: i'm afraid what catastrophe and nuclear that ass will bring about, once it does indeed detach from that ancient couch.
Dude: i mean i hardly doubt your secret will get me up no matter how jerky-dential it is. i bet my ass is strungwoven airtight to this couch. no sword can cut it, if not my upper torso. my buttocks will remain anyhow.
Dasch: i know how inseparable your ass and couch are. there is no denying. you've earned my trust in that. however, it still doesn't mean you get to access the jerky-dential.
Dude: come on. i even coined that term for you. doesn't that make your secret feel even more symbolic and significant.
Dasch: i can't say i don't like it. i consider taking it up as part of our gang language. i wonder what their like would be.
Dude: look, i know i'm still outsider. yet, i'm contributing to your gang. look what i'm capable of. don't you think i can be handy. i'm the only human connection you got. i could be the perfect spy. i can smuggle everything you are denied of. think about what value i can bring as a human member.
Dasch: i never said we do not have human member in our gang. so do not exaggerate yours self-worth and value proposition.
Dude: what? you can't be telling me you already have a human member. you can't be serious right? i know we've had rough exchanges and disagreement here and there. yet, i wasn't the first draft? you've got to be shitting me. dude, you can't be serious. how could you pull that rug under me. how could you.
Dasch: gang membership isn't about recruiting your familiar. it has nothing to do with preexisting ties. this world that i am in is nothing about friend for benefits kind of a deal. it's what you can prove to be. it's what you can bring to the table. it's about professionality. it's about discipline, meritocracy. there's no handholding or coddling.
Dude: okay, i see that this is not for some joke or pranking. i still want to give it whatever the shot i got.
Dasch: i can't promise anything. this isn't run solo. there's tradition and procedures. i'm just gonna leave it at that. i can't say too much for now.
Dude: .... i don't know what to say.... i just feel like.... i gave it all and... nothing came to a fruition... i don't know... i feel like i deserved something... you stood like a granite wall... without any door...
Dasch: i think you've knocked on it enough. no answer means no answer. save yourself from anymore frustration.
Dude turns his face away from Dasch, looks at his jerky, and grabs a strip.
Dude: if i could just tear that wall down and have a look.
Dude starts chewing. Dasch watches him in silence. Dude looks up guessing.
Dude: i sure don't know what this jerky is made out of...
Dude tears away a biteful and continues.
Dude: for some reason, it tastes like never before.
Dude keeps gnawing at it, making rhythmic sounds of sticky gummy bites.
Dude: i wonder what it could be...
Dasch blinks his eyes, slightly turning his head, puzzled.
Dude: you know....it sure is hard like...
Dude's gnawing and chewing get louder and stickier. Dasch steps back towards the door one by one. Finally, Dude looks down at Dasch and smiles.
Dude: that secret of yours!
Dasch's eyes dilate.
Dasch: sure is fine jerky you got.
Nodding in silence, Dude tears another jerky strip, eyes following Dasch who's just out the door now.
Dasch: well, enjoy yours.
Immediately, Dasch runs, leaps into Dude's parents' room, and hides behind the curtain.
Dude walks out, enters bathroom, jerky still in his mouth. Soon Dude bangs door closed, jerking up Dasch.
Dasch: what is up with his jerky?
Dasch lies on his belly, his frowning brows moving unsettled.