The Sand shinobi coughs as he wakes up.
He squints as the liquid gets into his eyes.
"What the fuck is this?" he asks.
"Blood," I say nonchalantly.
"Woaakkkkhhjhj!!!" He vomits. "What the fuck's wrong with you!!??" he shouts.
"It's the middle of the desert, dude! You want me wasting water on ya?" I ask.
He slumps down a bit after vomiting a mouthful.
Maybe if I splash him one more time, he'll liven up?
So, I cut another artery from the corpse behind me.
Filled up the mug I made using a vertebra from one of the bodies.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he groans.
Is this guy blind too? Did Minato hit him in the head too hard?
Let's just splash him with it.
Blood seeps into his mouth and nose as he coughs violently.
He falls off the rock, but I pull him back up.
"Stop! Fucking stop! What the fuck do you want??" he asks, voice shaking.
"Alright, now that you're awake…"
I sit down in front of him.
But I sat down a bit too hard and the threads in my neck snapped.
So, my head fell to the side, dangling like a pendulum.
"Hhhhuuuuaaaaaaaagggaaaa!!!! Huaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!"
The Sand shinobi starts screaming like I ate his grandma.
"What the heck?! Why are you screaming?! I haven't even started yet."
I push him by the shoulder.
Had to leave my head on the ground for that. Would be embarrassing if he ran away.
Aww, great. He passed out again.
Minato comes down into the shade.
"Need help with the head?" he asks.
"Please do," my body bows.
He waves it off and gets going with the needle.
---
Now that it feels solid again, let's get back to the interrogation.
He didn't panic or jump around the next time.
"How did you know we were coming?" I ask.
"We were tipped off by a guy named Tanuki," he says with a vague expression.
But he's not avoiding eye contact...
Although he keeps staring at my neck.
"So, um... who's this Tanuki guy? Where do we find him?" I ask.
"We caught him spying on us three days ago. He told us about some Konoha scout outpost and a rescue team coming in. In return, we let him join our ranks," he says.
"So he's in your village now?" I ask.
"No, we don't take ex-Konoha agents into the village. Too risky. There's a concentration camp 40 miles north. We keep them there."
I look at Saito. He shrugs.
His eyes are turned off—no genjutsu business going on here.
Pretty tame for a Suna shinobi, if you ask me.
I wonder what spooked him so hard that he's spilling shit like vomit.
I look at Minato.
He shrugs.
Doesn't look like the guy's lying either.
"How do we get there?" I ask.
"There's a transport vehicle a few kilos west," he answers.
"Transport vehicle?" I raise an eyebrow.
"That's what they call it," the shinobi says simply.
"Is it guarded?"
"Yes... but shouldn't be a problem for you lot."
"Should we let him go?" I ask Minato.
"We disarmed him, stripped his supplies, and he's got a broken leg. Leaving him here would be cruel," Minato rubs his chin.
"Then... we kill him," Saito takes out a kunai.
I turn to our captive.
"Too bad, man... it's not personal," I say, standing up.
"Wait!" he suddenly calls.
"What... did you do with their heads?" he asks.
Huh???
He's asking about the heads I lined up on the sand.
Those were his teammates.
"Oh... um... it's just a thing I do. Your men looked horrified when I killed them. So, I took their heads and shut their eyes," I answer.
"Why?" he asks.
It's actually a cultural thing from the northern monks in the Land of Fire. My orphanage was run by them.
They do this for criminals who die dishonorably.
But I doubt he wants a lecture.
"So they can sleep peacefully," I say with a smile.
He stares at me for a full minute.
Then, the grown man starts crying.
He gets on his knees with praying hands.
He doesn't beg for his life.
Doesn't attack.
He just sits there, in dogeza, crying.
"Captain," I hear Saito.
"Yes, Saito-san?" Minato raises an eyebrow.
"How about... we leave him alive?" Saito suggests.
Minato ponders a moment.
"That... would be a great idea, Saito-san," he says, eyes lighting up.
"How about we leave him food too?" I say sarcastically.
"Obviously," Minato turns away.
"So... we're just gonna leave him be? What if he informs the enemy?" I ask.
"That's the idea," Saito grabs my shoulder.
I have no idea what the idea is.
But I can't afford to act stupid.
"Ay ay, Captain," I shrug.
So, we left the Sand jounin with his dead teammates' heads.
---
We make our way west, as the Suna shinobi mentioned.
"What was the plan again?" I ask.
Saito rolls his eyes.
"We were supposed to rendezvous with the spy at the marked coordinates and bring him in," he scoffs.
"Wow\... that sounds so simple," I marvel.
"Except it wasn't," Minato says with a wry smile.
"Our spy... compromised his own extraction team for the sake of betrayal," Saito says angrily.
"Let's not be quick to judge," Minato rubs his chin.
I expected Saito to retort.
But he... calmed down pretty quick.
That's what you get for being a top-class chunin.
Also, we fought two full teams of jounin and chunin a while ago...
Minato wiped the floor with them.
You pull the ear, and the body follows.
Not in my case though.
My body seems to *prefer* being separated from my head.
"So, what are we doing now? Mission's a bust! Shouldn't we report back?" I ask.
"Remember the orders, Fardin-san. Dead or alive...
We have to bring in our rogue spy. Otherwise, more damage might be done," Minato shakes his head.
Before I can say anything, we come across something weird.
On top of the sand, there's a long slab of metal.
I look to the side and see the same track of iron stretching to the horizon.
"The fuck is this shit?" Saito asks.
Minato kneels and touches the iron beam.
"I... don't know," Minato says, looking around.
"Let me see," I chime in.
I touch the metal.
It's... vibrating?
Then I put my ear on the tracks.
The heat burns my ear.
"Be careful, Fardin-san," Minato warns.
"He'll be fine..." Saito says matter-of-factly.
**\[Cheki cheki cheki cheki cheki cheki cheki]**
"Something's coming..." I notify.
"What?" Saito asks.
Then I look south.
The wobbling air makes it look like a river is rising from the horizon.
A mirage—then something dark emerges.
"Hit the ground!" Minato orders.
With our brown fabrics and caps, we blend in with the sand seamlessly.
Suppressing chakra, we wait with bated breath.
With a loud roar, a huge mechanical serpent passes by, shaking the ground beneath us.
Sand and dust fill my mouth—because my jaw is on the floor.
It's huge...
And I can't see the end.
"What the fuck is that?!" Saito whispers.
"The transport vehicle?" I make an educated guess.
"Team!" Minato calls. "That's our ride."
I'm so happy I almost kissed Minato.
But no time for that—it's moving fast.
We run with it.
I jump and grab the side.
Minato and Saito follow.
We hang by the side, crawling toward the front.
It's a long way.
We need to get inside or on top.
Minato signals: two guards on top.
Top it is.
I tap the carrier lightly.
It's filled with something... supplies?
One guard moves toward my position.
He peeks.
I stab his thigh all the way up to his hipbone.
All the way to that artery party zone.
What was it called again?
The guard falls like a broken puppet.
The other's alerted.
But Saito sneaks up from the other side and drops him.
"Iliac fossa?" I think out loud.
"What?" Saito groans, spitting sand.
Minato's up too.
The guy I dropped tries to get up—then falls again.
"He'll be a problem," Saito points out.
"No, he won't," I say, pointing to my thigh.
"There's a huge artery in there. He'll bleed out before he even finishes yelling."
"Or... you could just go for the throat," Saito scoffs.
**Clink!** I hear metal.
Minato opens a hatch.
"Look at this..." he says, touching the rim.
"What?" Saito asks—but then recognizes it immediately.
I kneel down and sniff.
"Crushed tea leaves?" I ask.
"It's a signal," Saito explains.
"Signal for what?" I ask.
"Let's find out," he shrugs.
Minato jumps in.
We follow.
It's... bright inside.
There's a light bulb on the ceiling.
The container is filled with wooden boxes.
Minato pries one open.
He takes out a huge metal pipe with a wooden handle and a trigger.
"What the f—what is this?" I ask.
Saito's silent.
"Firearms," Minato answers.
"I don't know what that means," I shrug.
"It's a weapon. It uses smoke powder and a metal ball. When triggered, it fires the ball in a straight line," Saito explains.
"Is it dangerous?" I ask.
"The ball flies faster than you can blink," Minato chuckles.
I whistle.
"Even a child could kill a jounin with this," Saito tosses the weapon down.
The light bulb blinks.
In that momentary darkness—something moves.
Kunai and katana out, we stand back to back.
There's an average-sized man.
Black ninja outfit. Loose torso. Baggy leggings. Fishnet sleeves.
Everything about him screams "meh"...
Except his sleep-deprived eyes and constant look of passive-aggressive disappointment.
He jumps down from a box—cat-like.
Pulls down his mask.
"Minato..." I call.
"We've got our guy," I recognize him from the sketch.
Minato doesn't relax.
Doesn't give the order.
"I asked for ninjas," the man says coldly.
I blink.
His sword's in my throat.
Then he cuts my knee tendons.
I drop.
"They sent kids," he scoffs.
He's fast.
"Fardin!!!" Minato shouts.
"Ay ay!" My voice sounds like gravel and regret.
I grab his wrist. He flinches.
He twists his blade, slicing my chest.
I stand back up like nothing happened and grab his other hand.
Now he's surprised.
He kicks me. Blade in the boot.
Poison enters.
"That won't work either," I grin.
It's not as bad as the Suna poison. I can deal.
"What the fuck?!" he yells, trying to break free.
Smart guy lets go of his gloves to slip away.
I lunge and hug his waist.
He casts a sign.
Suddenly, I'm hugging a tree trunk.
Replacement jutsu?! With no smoke?
Saito slides under and dropkicks air.
Something jumps.
Minato throws a weighted rope.
It wraps around an invisible man.
He falls.
I get on top.
He's already slipping free.
So I punch him.
He stabs my gut.
Our eyes meet.
His expression makes me laugh.
Then I start pounding him.
Blood. Teeth. Crunch.
"Stop! \[Cough!] Ou... Stop!" he begs.
I grab his throat.
Look at Minato for permission.
He nods.
"Talk!" I bark.
"My name is Danzo Shimura! I'm a Tokubetsu Jounin!" he blurts.
"Tokubetsu Jounin? You're weak as hell!" Saito crouches beside me.
"You're lying," Minato clenches his fist.
"Which division?" I ask.
"I... can't answer that!" he says.
Minato traces a finger across his neck.
I cave in his face with a punch.
Dead.
"Wow. That was a mad strong punch," Saito chuckles.
**\[Clap clap clap!]**
Someone is clapping on top of the crates.
"HQ really outdid themselves," a man jumps down—graceful like a cat.
He scans us.
"An Uchiha," he spits at Saito.
"The academy genius," he smirks at Minato.
"And..."
He looks at me, wiping blood and brain matter off my face.
"A freak," he scoffs.
I step up.
Minato stops me. The guy's got a Konoha headband.
"Who the hell are you?" Minato asks.
"Who I am is none of your concern. You now have a mission," he says calmly.
"By whose order?" Minato asks.
"The Hokage's."
"If we refuse?" Saito asks.
"Then you die."
"I wish I could," I mutter.
"I can grant that in more ways you can imagine , CHILD! ," he says, pulling a scroll.
Three red seals. Our names. Registration numbers.
"My clan won't agree. You can't just force us into classified missions," Saito says carefully.
"The clan has forsaken you, Saito Uchiha. Your life is mine to command," the man says.
Saito laughs. "Glad to hear it."
"Sorry Fardin! No going to party if I'm not part of it", he says while not taking his eyes off the target.
"Oh well, no biggy! We can party ourselves, once we get out of this mess", I smirk.
I guess that fan seal's from his clan elder.
The second's probably for Minato.
It looks like a frog's face, by the way.
The third... Hokage?
Tobirama Senju?
"What's the mission?" Minato asks.
"Kill Marie Curie".