Nothing in this world is harder to endure than hunger.
Qin Guan slumped against the back seat, feeling his entire body as if submerged in icy, deep water—devoid of warmth, devoid of strength. His skin and hair seemed to disintegrate like silt in the water, flaking away layer by layer.
This familiar torment hadn't visited him for many years.
He couldn't recall exactly how old he was when his earliest memories of hunger began, but the sensation was carved deep into Qin Guan's bones. His alcoholic father had always seen him as a burden. Even though he'd been quiet and undemanding as a child, the man he called "Dad" had never shown him a shred of care or concern.
His mad mother was even worse—she lived in a different world altogether. Because she couldn't care for a newborn, Qin Guan spent most of his infancy being passed around among villagers with children, arranged by the village committee, for feeding. It wasn't until after he turned three that he finally lived in his own home.
The alcoholic father would often boil a big pot of corn porridge, toss it to mother and child, and then leave—sometimes for odd jobs in the village or town, but mostly for gambling and drinking.
Whichever the case, he rarely came home punctually at dusk to care for his son.
Qin Guan's meals were erratic. When his drunken father disappeared for days on end, he plunged into the abyss of starvation.
He'd gnawed on the green leaves of carrots planted in a neighbor's backyard. He'd chewed on cardboard soaked in sugar water for its faint sweetness. He'd even swallowed raw cotton wadding.
Yes, cotton wadding—old, yellowish cotton that fell out of a tattered padded jacket. He'd pull it out, stuff it into his mouth, and chew it slowly. Mixed with saliva, the cotton quickly became a damp, thick lump. The moment it slid down his throat and into his belly, he'd feel a fleeting illusion of satisfaction—a phantom sense of "eating" and "fullness."
Disaster, of course, followed. He was nine. A sudden, violent stomachache. His teacher couldn't reach the drunken father, so she carried him alone to the hospital. When he timidly told the doctor he'd been starving and had eaten cotton wadding—a lot of it—the teacher standing beside him was stunned. Her eyes instantly reddened.
Afterward, that teacher spoke to him very seriously and solemnly: "Child, I'll try to find a way. See if I can find a kind-hearted person to help you…"
Leaning against the back seat, Qin Guan breathed weakly, his breaths growing even fainter. Remembering was exhausting when you were hungry.
He needed food. Desperately.
But the officers said they had none.
"Oh? You haven't eaten? Should've said so earlier! We could've brought something. There was a milk sponge cake with eggs, but I just finished it before you got in the car! So sorry," said the officer in the front passenger seat.
The lingering scent of egg cake in the car confirmed the latter part was true.
But the first part was a lie.
They were doing this deliberately.
Because hunger could shatter a person's will. They were breaking him. Qin Guan still didn't know the destination of this trip, but he knew one thing: Old He was making his move.
Having found no other evidence, no trace of Qi Min, they were resorting to this underhanded tactic.
Qin Guan closed his eyes. His nose greedily, uncontrollably, inhaled the rich aroma of egg cake in the air. His stomach felt so empty it was almost shriveling.
No. He had to get food. Without eating, he couldn't fight.
Qin Guan argued fiercely for a full five minutes before the officer in front finally dialed Old He's number.
It was a video call. On the screen, Old He was also sitting in a car. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, his face gleaming with tired, oily sweat.
"We didn't starve you on purpose! Everyone's been swamped today, too many things going on. We just forgot to tell someone to bring you food!"
Old He's large face filled the screen. He was eating a jianbing guozi (savory crepe). He slowly took a bite, chewing with his mouth open. The chewing sound was gratingly loud. "Honestly forgot, Qin Guan. Don't be mad. The car's on the highway now, nothing we can do. Why not close your eyes and take a nap? When we get there, I'll buy you something to eat…"
His blatant dismissal and mocking attitude ignited Qin Guan completely.
"You have no right to treat me like this! Hear me, He?!"
Qin Guan clenched his teeth. His plummeting blood sugar made coherent thought impossible. He struggled to breathe, glaring viciously at the detestable face on the screen. "I'll report you! I swear I will! Just you wait! Abuse of power! Mistreatment of a suspect! Settling personal scores! You… you're a disgrace to the force! Useless!"
His index finger jabbed at the screen. His other hand, cuffed to it, was forced to follow, concentrating all his blazing fury between his two palms.
"He! You're an idiot! A fool! Useless! No wonder you're stuck like this at your age!"
Old He just kept smiling, his big mouth working on the jianbing, chewing even more ostentatiously. "Yes, yes, Lawyer Qin, you're absolutely right. If only I had your brains."
"Admit it or not, you're an idiot!"
The chewing sounds felt like a stick churning Qin Guan's empty stomach, making him unbearably sick. "You're toying with me! Don't you realize you're being played too? Played by Xu Ruyi! That detail in what she said? She deliberately fed it to you! You really think you're so clever? Stupid thing!"
"Oh? That so! Thanks for telling me," Old He laughed even harder, his eyes wide with exaggerated mock gratitude that held not an ounce of trust, only scorn. "Always grateful for Lawyer Qin's insights! Otherwise, I'd be completely in the dark! You really are the clever one!"
"I know you don't believe me! But it's the truth! Do you even know what truth is, you idiot!"
Qin Guan's rant grew more frantic. His hands trembled; his eyes were bloodshot. So agitated, so irrational—this wasn't him. He was Qin Guan. The Qin Guan recognized in the industry as smart, capable, calm, and steady. The young talent his firm's boss praised for his exceptional intelligence and emotional quotient.
Yet it felt as if this was the real him—stripped of layer upon layer of thick armor—the core self hidden deep inside…
"Idiot! Fool! You know damn well Xu Ruyi is behind all this, yet you don't investigate her! Played by a woman! She's playing you, He! And Xiao Zhi! Feng Xiangping's son, Xiao Zhi! He's still in university, and he's got you dancing in circles! He lives in Jiayuan Community! You didn't even think to check! You only listen to Xu Ruyi's lies! What, do you have the hots for that bitch?"
He was lashing out indiscriminately now.
"Zhang Xiao Zhi," Old He suddenly stopped chewing. His smile vanished in an instant. He stared directly at Qin Guan. "That person you mentioned? I checked on him long ago. He's never lived in Jiayuan Community. Never been seen near it. Because," he paused deliberately, "he's been in his school classes the whole time. Didn't take a single day off. Didn't miss a single class. He wasn't involved."
The words hit Qin Guan like a bucket of ice water, extinguishing the wildfire of his rage.
He froze for a second.
Impossible?
Xiao Zhi had been in class every day? Never took leave?
Absolutely impossible. It had to be Xiao Zhi. His daughter had mentioned seeing Xiao Zhi's back at the aquarium. Evidence of an outsider staying in Jiayuan Community…
Xu Ruyi needed help to do all this. And besides Xiao Zhi, she had no one else!
How could Xiao Zhi not be involved?
The lobster seasoning packet hidden in Auntie Feng's drawer. The Hanke luggage tag in the Jiayuan Community trash. The disposable gloves from the noodle shop…
Suddenly, a jolt of realization struck Qin Guan.
A chill shot up his spine.
What if—just what if—he had never considered this possibility: what if those clues were deliberately planted for him to find?
He was still reeling when Old He spoke again from the other end. "Hey, Lawyer Qin. I heard you had a fight with Qi Min before your business trip? You slapped her?"