AN: 4 chs/week quota completed. Dang! That was first, huh? I might release 2 more chs this week, depending on the stockpile. Enjoy.
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[Charlie's House – Kitchen – 9:15 AM]
Lisa stared at the check, the words "interview in 10" still echoing in her ears like a fire alarm with bad social skills.
"…Wait," she said, slowly looking up at Charlie, "what do you mean, interview in ten?"
Charlie grinned and pointed toward the clock on the wall. "Well, now it's forty-five minutes, because I exaggerated slightly for dramatic flair. But yeah, chop-chop. You're meeting the head of the board."
Lisa blinked. "Board of what?"
Charlie sauntered to the fridge, grabbed lemonade, and casually replied, "The university."
Lisa's jaw dropped. "You got me a job interview at a university?!" She was still in a daze and couldn't believe what she had just heard.
Charlie poured himself a glass of lemonade, shrugged like it was no big deal. "I have connections. I'm a man of mystery. A man of layers."
Berta, cracking eggs at the stove, didn't even look up. "You're a man of strippers, body spray, and unpaid parking tickets."
Charlie pointed a finger at her without turning around. "Hey, that's the old Charlie. I'm trying my best to improve."
Lisa stood up, waving the check. "Wait... wait-wait-wait. Start from the beginning. What is this job? Am I teaching? Admin? Taming wild freshmen with pool noodles?"
Charlie took a sip of his juice, then leaned against the counter. "Principal."
Lisa choked on her coffee. "WHAT?!"
He grinned. "Yup. You, my dear, are being considered for the top job. My ex's husband, who happens to be my old buddy, owns the place now. Rich, retired, and still trying to give back to education. He called it a 'bold direction' to consider someone under forty without five PhDs and a face like a fossil. I told him you'd crush it."
Lisa staggered back into her chair. "You recommended me to run an entire university? I don't even have any experience for a job this big!" She hadn't been in charge of anything more serious than a group chat, and now suddenly... Principal? Her confidence level was obviously shaken.
Berta turned off the stove and walked over, spatula still in hand like a tiny, greasy sword of wisdom.
"Listen, sweetheart. If some rich old idiot wants to hand you power and a paycheck, you don't ask questions. You smile, nod, and get your ass in that chair before they change their mind."
Lisa blinked at her. "But I don't even have a resume printed..."
Berta tapped the spatula against the table. "Doesn't matter. Confidence is the resume of the gods."
Charlie nodded solemnly. "That sounded weirdly profound. Are you secretly a philosopher?"
Berta shrugged. "I watch a lot of Judge Judy."
Lisa stood up, pacing now, her eyes wild. "What do I wear? My blazers are still in boxes, and I can't show up in yoga pants looking like a sleep-deprived librarian who Googled 'how to fake it.'"
Charlie held up a finger and disappeared into the hall.
A beat later, he returned holding a sleek black garment bag like it was the Holy Grail.
Lisa squinted. "What's that?"
He unzipped it slowly, dramatically... inside was a pristine, stylish, maybe-too-expensive black power suit. Black blazer. Slacks. Even a silk blouse tucked inside.
Lisa blinked. "Is that... is that Chanel?"
Charlie raised his eyebrows proudly. "Yeah. Don't ask how or why I have this. This is a brand new set. Focus on the task at hand, yeah?"
Lisa stared at it like it had spoken to her.
Berta crossed her arms. "He's still an idiot. But that's a damn fine outfit."
Charlie handed her the bag. "You've got forty-five minutes to transform from 'panicked job seeker' to 'undeniable boss bitch.'"
Lisa didn't move.
Charlie leaned in. "You got this, Lisa. You're smart. You're sharp. You're scary when you don't get your coffee. That's principal material."
Lisa blinked twice, eyes glossy.
Then she launched forward and hugged him tight, nearly knocking the lemonade out of his hand.
"Thank you," she whispered, kissing his cheek. "Thank you for believing in me."
Charlie smirked. "I believe in you... and I really believe in my continued access to those boobs."
Berta rolled her eyes so hard they almost detached. "And just like that, the moment was gone."
Lisa grabbed the outfit and bolted toward the hallway. "Fifteen minutes. I'll be ready. Someone stall the universe if I'm late!"
Charlie called after her, "And don't forget to smile during the interview! But not the fake smile you use on parking officers!"
She shouted from down the hall, "Shut up and find my hairbrush!"
Charlie turned to Berta, beaming.
Berta gave him a nod of mild approval.
"Not bad," she said. "That was almost... mature."
Charlie grinned. "I know. I feel gross. I need to go lie down in sarcasm for a bit."
[A few minutes later...]
Charlie was crouched by the door, lining up Lisa's ankle boots like a man arranging an art exhibit for feet.
Behind him, Berta dusted a shelf with judgmental vigor. "So," she said, voice thick with curiosity, "this 'ex' of your buddy's. The one married to Mr. University Board. What did you have to do to get this interview? Sell your soul? Or just your dignity?"
Charlie didn't look up. "Berta. You wound me."
She kept dusting. "And yet you're still standing. So. Spill. Did you make a deal with the devil? Or worse.... his wife?"
Charlie sighed and walked to the living room. He slumped down on the couch with a heavy sigh.
[FLASHBACK – Park – 7:00 AM – Two Hours Earlier]
Birds chirped. The sun glowed politely. And Charlie jogged like a man being chased by the memory of his worst decisions.
He rounded the bend near the duck pond when he spotted her.
Joline Mason.
Forty-five. Blonde bun, sunglasses worth more than his car, and a jogger's stride that screamed, I used to model for stock fitness photos before I married into capital gains. She was with a tiny, overly pampered pomeranian in a matching tracksuit.
Charlie stopped mid-stride, chest heaving.
"Joline?" he said.
She looked up, paused, and smiled slowly.
"Charlie," she purred. "Didn't recognize you with clothes on."
They both laughed, and the ducks fled the scene like they knew better.
Charlie caught his breath. "Didn't think I'd see you this early. Your usual hour to rise was 'whenever the help shakes the mimosa glass.'"
"I can say the same for you. You are jogging now... That's new..." Joline took off her sunglasses. "Well, things change. I do yoga now. And charity. And emotional growth." She paused. "Mostly for the tax write-offs."
Charlie gave a mock bow. "Truly, a woman of substance."
She smirked. "So as far as I know, you aren't the kind to chase or even show your face to your ex or one-night stands. What do you need, Charlie?"
"Actually," Charlie said, stepping closer, "I was hoping to exploit your husband."
She blinked. "Well, I suppose it's only fair. I exploited him for beachfront property."
Charlie grinned. "Lisa, my friend. Smart, driven, vaguely terrifying when under-caffeinated. She needs a break. You said your husband's running that shiny new private university. Thought maybe... You could nudge a meeting? You know, for some higher position for old times' sake? Or, maybe a favor for a favor?"
Joline looked amused. "You mean recommend your little girlfriend for a leadership role in higher education?"
"Yeah, that'd do," Charlie said quickly, too quickly.
"That was quick, just like that day you banged me in a linen closet while I was still wearing my veil," She said with a wicked smile.
Charlie blinked. "Okay, wow, memory lane has potholes."
Joline reached into her tiny dog's backpack (yes, it had one) and pulled out a business card.
She held it between two fingers like a magic trick. "Board head's meeting her at ten. And Charlie?"
"Yeah?"
"She'll get the position, but what am I gonna get out of this?" She walked forward, closing the distance between them. She still has that feisty look in her eyes. "This is a big favor in such a short time."
"What do you want?" He met her eyes.
"Next week, I'm going on a yacht party. My husband's going overseas on a business trip," Joline leaned in close. "You'll be my plus-one on that yacht party next week. And I expect… old-school Charlie. The one who knew how to misbehave in linen closets."
'For Lisa...' Charlie smiled thinly. "He's retired. But I can probably dig up his jacket."
[BACK TO PRESENT – 9:24 AM – Charlie's House]
Charlie blinked once. Then twice. Then sat up straighter and plastered on a smirk so smug it could've been framed and sold at IKEA under the name "LÖGN."
Berta raised an eyebrow. "Well? What'd she want in return?"
Charlie stretched like a cat who'd just hacked up a secret. "Ah, nothing major. Just… you know, a friendly favor for an old pal."
Berta snorted. "A favor? You? Doing something altruistic? That's like a raccoon volunteering for recycling duty."
He wagged a finger. "Hey now. I have depths. I contain multitudes."
"You contain emotional debt and whatever's still fermenting in your fridge."
Charlie got up and wandered to the kitchen, opening cabinets like they might hold the moral high ground.
"She asked me to… water her plants while she's out of town."
Berta froze mid-dust. "Her plants?"
Charlie nodded solemnly, grabbing a mug. "Yes. Real needy ones, too. They require love. Moisture. Emotional availability."
Berta narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, right. Do whatever you want, just don't let Lisa find out."
[A few minutes later...]
Lisa emerged from the hallway like a runway model who'd also spent the morning having a mild panic attack. The black power suit hugged her perfectly. Her hair was tied in a bun, her makeup subtle. She looked like a TED Talk and a restraining order had a baby.
Charlie, in stark contrast, wore a blue bowling shirt with palm trees on it, khaki shorts, and loafers with no socks. He looked like a Florida retiree about to explain why Margaritaville is a way of life.
Lisa blinked at him. "That's what you're wearing?"
Charlie grinned. "We're going to a university, not a tax audit. Besides, you're the one getting hired. I'm just the emotional support raccoon."
Berta passed behind them holding a plate of eggs. "You're more like the emotionally unavailable squirrel who occasionally hands out chaos."
Charlie took a mock bow. "I am but a humble servant of unpredictability."
Lisa adjusted the sleeves of her blazer and glanced in the mirror again. "Okay. Okay. I'm fine. This is fine. I'm a grown adult. I have references. Kind of. I know words. I can use them."
Charlie offered her a to-go mug. "Coffee. For power. Caffeine is the original résumé."
Lisa took a grateful sip, then looked down at her hands. "I'm sweating. Am I sweating too much? Is that... a sign of weakness? Do principals sweat? I don't think I've ever seen a principal sweat."
"You're fine," Charlie said. "You look like someone who just ordered three interns to reschedule a meeting because it interrupted your meditation hour."
Lisa paused. "Is that... good?"
"It's intimidating, which is basically good in a blazer."
[In car... On the way]
The drive was a mix of tension and banter. Lisa nervously reviewed fake credentials out loud, while Charlie played reggae music and cheerfully ignored stop signs.
Lisa looked out the window. "What if I get asked about... I don't know... curriculum development or endowment funds? What is an endowment? Do I need one? Do they need one? Do I fake knowing what it means and pivot to diversity?"
Charlie nodded as he drove. "Classic strategy. Smile, nod, and say 'I believe in inclusive leadership models and student-first policy frameworks.' Works every time."
Lisa furrowed her brow. "That's... alarmingly convincing."
Charlie tapped the wheel. "Been faking competence since '06."
Lisa exhaled. "Okay. Let's do this. I'm going to go in there, act like I own the building, and if anyone questions me, I'll use my Principal Voice."
"What's that sound like?"
She turned to him, completely deadpan. "Mr. Henderson, this is your third violation. One more outburst and I will call your mother and revoke your vending machine privileges."
Charlie froze, then grinned. "Hot damn. I almost stood up straighter."
They continued their banter as Charlie told her about the important people she needs to know, which was two people, because he only knows two people. His ex and her husband.
...
[University- 5 minutes left]
They pulled into the university campus... gleaming glass buildings, too many fountains, and students who all looked like extras in a college brochure. That place looked like one of those ultra high end uni for rich kids.
Lisa got out of the car, heels clicking against pavement, power radiating like WiFi. She put her serious face on. She was holding a folder in her right hand. "That's 80% of success, right? Is my face ok?"
"Trust me," he said, grabbing her shoulders and looking into her eyes. "You got this. Believe in yourself. Now, go be terrifying."
Lisa paused. "Charlie?"
"Yeah?"
"If I throw up, it's going to be into this folder."
He held up his hands. "All yours. Use it with pride."
Lisa inhaled deeply, squared her shoulders, and marched toward the glass doors.
Charlie watched her go, a hint of pride in his smirk.
Then he turned and walked toward the campus coffee stand like he owned the place.
As Lisa vanished into the building, he thought, 'Soon, I'll earn enough money for us. None of these bitches would be able to take advantage of us.'
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