Ye Wudi: Someone get this man some front-page treatment NOW!
"Duang~duang!"
"What the who are you? And why are you"
Thud!
Before Ye Wudi could finish his sentence, a blonde twin-tailed girl crashed directly into his face.
Face wash?
Evade?
Screw that!
While Ye Wudi was still reeling from the impact, the blonde girl wrapped around his head like an octopus, clinging to him tightly.
Then, that familiar-yet-dread-inducing voice rang out at the door.
"Boss! Hahaha! After days and nights of tireless practice, I've finally mastered the Sexy Jutsu!"
"The old lady next door actually thought I was Naruko! She even said that with these curves, I'm destined to bring good fortune to my future kids already trying to set me up with her nephew!"
"And then there was this old man who said back in his prime he'd tamed more wild mares than he could count no idea what he meant, but he sounded epic, so I just nodded and smiled!"
"…"
As expected, this blonde twin-tailed girl… was Naruto using his signature Sexy Jutsu.
Ever since Ye Wudi transmigrated into this world, he hadn't been spending all his time flirting with Hinata or on his way to flirt with her. No, he'd also taken the Child of Prophecy himself under his wing.
With several terabytes of island sensei resources from his past life, taming a mere Naruto was hardly a challenge. Milk him dry cough cough I mean, easy as pie!
At that thought, Ye Wudi put on his most serious face and began prying the fake twin-tailed Naruto off of him.
"Straighten up!"
"But Boss… why are you tugging on my pigtails like that?"
"Ding! You've received 9 points of negative emotion from Naruko!"
Ye Wudi froze, the faintest hint of awkwardness flashing across his face, though his tone remained perfectly upright and composed.
"Ahem. Anyway, enough nonsense change back, now!"
"Your current form doesn't count as 'mastered.' You still haven't grasped the essence of this jutsu."
Naruto, who had still looked a bit unsure, lit up at Ye Wudi's words.
He grabbed Ye Wudi's hands and started shaking him with renewed excitement.
"Essence?! Boss, boss, tell me what it is!"
"Stop shaking me, I'm gonna hurl…"
Finally, under Ye Wudi's righteous command, Naruto returned to his usual self.
And to prevent any further nonsense, Ye Wudi pulled out his ultimate weapon:
Talk no Jutsu.
"Listen, Naruto, our dreams should be bigger than this. Sexy Jutsu? Please, that's kid stuff!"
"If we're gonna do something, we aim for the top: the Harem Jutsu. Now that that's the path to true greatness!"
"But Boss… didn't you say training should be step by step, no shortcuts, no rushing too fast"
Smack!
Before he could finish, Ye Wudi knocked Naruto lightly on the head.
"Who's the boss here, huh? Me or you? I say we train Harem Jutsu!"
"Yessir, Boss!"
Seeing Naruto all fired up and standing at attention, Ye Wudi nodded with satisfaction.
Then, with utmost gravity, he handed over the holy grail a book he had spent the entire night lovingly "studying" to the last page:
"Compilation of a Certain Island-Sensei Who's Really Got It Going On"
"From the moment I met you, Naruto, I knew you were destined for greatness."
"That's why I've pushed you so hard all these years. And now, finally, you're ready."
"Today, I pass on to you the sacred text of Harem Jutsu."
Naruto's eyes sparkled with anticipation as he took the book.
Then, his face fell the moment he saw the title particularly the word Sensei.
"Ding! You've received 9 points of negative emotion from Naruto!"
Still, despite his obvious disappointment, Naruto reluctantly opened the book.
"Boss, I thought you were going to teach me the real Sexy Jutsu. Why are you giving me whoa! WHOA! WHOA!"
Hoo boy.
Curvy!
Juicy!
Youthful!
All of Naruto's resistance melted away in an instant. Nosebleed? Try firehose. No amount of tissues could stop the torrent.
Seeing Naruto's star-struck expression and his practically vibrating eyeballs, Ye Wudi tilted his chin upward with pride.
That's it?
With my years no, lifetimes of "research," when it comes to this domain in the entire shinobi world…
Second place? Don't insult me.
I. Am. Number. One.
"The way you're drooling pull yourself together! Roll with me, and you'll never be left out. Now wipe your chin, we've got school."
"Yes, Boss!"
That's what Naruto said, but his face was still glued to the book like a magnet. Not even an earthquake could pry it loose.
Ye Wudi shook his head helplessly.
"This kid's out of commission for a while. If that's the case…"
"I'll just have to find another way to gather negative emotions."
With that thought, he raised one hand, fingers swiftly forming a seal.
Body Flicker Technique!
In the blink of an eye, several shadow clones appeared around him.
But that wasn't all.
With a slight smirk tugging at his lips, he followed up with a second seal.
Transformation Jutsu!
Poof! Poof! Poof!
Before the stunned onlookers, every clone transformed into… an island-sensei.
Fishnet tights? Check. Black stockings? Check. High heels? Check. Duang~duang? Of course.
You name it Ye Wudi could transform into it.
Then, with a snap of his fingers:
Snap!
The transformed clones lifted Ye Wudi onto a bed, hoisted it up, and carried him like a VIP on parade.
Four sensei clones held the corners, with a lead dancer strutting up front. Around them, the rest twirled and swayed, some peeling grapes, others wiping Ye Wudi's brow.
The song?
Elysium Groove.
The dance?
Elysium Groove, obviously.
"Wh-what the hell…" Naruto's eyes were stars again, utterly dazed.
"Boss is insane. I wanna be just like him!"
DUN-TSS DUN-TSS
OH OH OH-YEAH!
As Ye Wudi and Naruto strutted through the streets on their way to the ninja academy, the infectious beat echoed throughout the entire district.
At first, the neighbors frowned at the racket.
But then…
"I mean, yeah, the music's annoying, but… why can't I stop dancing?! Somebody grab me, I've lost control!"
"OH YEAH! This is youth! Hahahaha!"
"I remember this move! I used to twirl girls with twin tails just like that! Honey, grab the grandkid and shake it! What? Grandson? Bah, kid's got no rhythm. Send him to play in the dirt!"
Wherever Ye Wudi and Naruto passed, they left chaos in their wake.
Even the ANBU who rushed to the scene were caught up in the rhythm trying to maintain order while doing the robot.
"Ding! You've received 666 points of negative emotion from ANBU operative XXX!"
"Ding! You've received 666 points of negative emotion from your neighborhood auntie!"
"Ding! You've received 666 points of negative emotion from your neighborhood uncle!"
Feeling the emotion points skyrocket, Ye Wudi couldn't stay seated anymore.
Amidst the madness, he grabbed a sensei's ruler and used it as a mic.
Time to sing, LOUD.
BOOM.
EMOTION EXPLOSION.
This wave was pure juice. Like a dam bursting.
"HAHAHA! Keep it up, folks! Don't break formation! Spam that 666!"
At this rate, by the time they reached the academy gates, he'd probably have enough points to fire off a ten-pull lottery draw.
Perfect.
But then, mid-thought, Ye Wudi's eyes suddenly lit up like a predator spotting prey.
With a snap, he and his team of clones vanished.
Leaving behind…
A frozen Naruto, still airborne from his last leap, now alone and heading straight for a face-plant.
Who am I?
Where am I?
What's happening?!
"AHHHHH!"
Thud!
"Ding! You've received negative emotion from Naruto…"