Chapter 22
Freydis
My face turned red with embarrassment as I stared at Lagertha. Shock crossed her face, same with Ake, who stood next to her. My body turned to ice as I watched Lagertha take a step closer, her teeth clenched.
"Mother, I can explain—"
Before I could finish, a hand struck my face. I staggered back, holding my cheek as I stared at Lagertha. My skin burned with intense pain. I felt an ache at the side of my head and around my eyes.
"What sort of madness is this?"
Fuck.
Lagertha's face had turned red, rage seeping from her eyes.
"This can't be real!"
"There were rumors going around the longhouse, but I told myself you couldn't be that foolish. I warned you about him. The dream I had of him was real. He's a monster."
"Mother—"
"You think you're his first?" she asked. "The people….. they'll call you a whore."
I flinched at the name she called me. I was about to respond when the bathing chamber door opened and footsteps approached. A strong arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to him.
I turned to him. He was wearing a smirk, staring at Lagertha.
"Are ye burning for me?" he asked, a smile curling on his lips. "Had I known ye'd be this jealous, I would've invited ye to me room."
Lagertha frowned deeply and began to march toward Ragnar, but I stepped in her way.
"You don't understand. He has been good to me."
"Good to you?" she asked. "You mean in his bed?"
I gritted my teeth. If only she knew what really happened. If only she knew Ragnar had refused to bed me.
"Why would you let someone like him into your heart? He's a monster! I saw him in my dream. He has the shape of a beast. He'll—"
"Hold yer tongue, Lagertha," Ragnar cut in.
"You're shameless, Ragnar. We accepted you in our house and after two weeks you corrupted my daughter!"
"She ain't a girl anymore. Yer anger comes 'cause she made a choice ye didn't approve of."
"She was betrothed to the King of Eastland. What will he say when he hears of this?" she asked.
"I don't love Brok."
"That doesn't mean you should cheat on him just because you don't love him."
"When I met your father, he raided my village and captured me as his thrall. He made me his wife and I learned to fall in love with him. You don't get to choose."
"You're different."
"And you're supposed to be smart. But never mind, I'm taking this to your father."
At the thought of Harald hearing this, my eyes widened and I took a big step forward.
"Mother, please. Don't let Father hear of this."
She pulled her hand from my grip. "You should have followed the path your father and I laid for you."
Turning around, she stormed out of the room.
I followed Lagertha, but she was walking fast, and soon she was in my father's hall.
Ake stared at me, shaking his head in disappointment.
"I don't even know what to say to you, but I am disappointed," he said. "We couldn't find you yesterday. I thought maybe you were with Brok…. but I wasn't expecting this."
"If anyone other than me and the Queen had seen you in his room, it would have been the worst of our fears. Brok would have seen it as a sign of disrespect, and you know what could happen if the marriage doesn't go through."
"Ragnar didn't bed me."
"Stop lying, Freydis. I know when you're lying," he said, shaking his head. "You spent the whole night in his room."
"He didn't."
"You're lying."
"Just let me explain."
"I don't think I want to know what happened between you two last night."
"He didn't bed me, but he did touched me. We kissed. That was all," i uttered.
"He touched you?" His jaw clenched. "He shouldn't have—"
"Is that the point?"
"Yes."
"Yes, he touched me, but you can't blame Ragnar. It was my fault. I wanted him to be my first. I didn't want Brok to be my first. I just wanted a bit of freedom before my wedding."
"Ragnar is to blame. He knew better," he said. "But Freydis….. what you did, it's a sin. You know that."
"This is stupid. The fact that I have no say in my life? Stupid. That I can't choose the man I want to love. That I can't experience anything without being called a sinner. Why do men get to breathe freely and women get bits?"
His eyes softened. He took a step closer.
"Nearly everything is forbidden."
Tears burned in my eyes. My jaw clenched as I tried to hold myself.
"My marriage to Brok is in a few days and I don't even know the man. He doesn't want me, he barely looks at me. He spends most of his time with the woman he brought from Eastland. They share a room but no one says a thing about that. But the moment I was caught in Ragnar's room, it felt like the world was about to end."
Breathing heavily, I tried to control my emotions. Something in me snapped, and anger burst out of me.
"I don't even know what my life will look like after I marry Brok. For all I know, I could be killed by one of the Eastlanders. And even if I'm not, I'll have to suffer, spending the rest of my life with a man I don't love."
"Freydis," he whispered.
"I'm sorry to everyone I disappointed. Sorry for choosing someone I actually want, instead of dancing to the part everyone wants for me."
"Freydis." Ake took a step forward and pulled me into his arms. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying those hurtful words to you."
The moment he hugged me, all the anger that had been brewing inside me slipped out. I closed my eyes, hugging him tightly.