We lay side by side on the hood of Aaron's car, parked on a quiet hill just outside the city. The stars blinked above us, scattered across a velvet sky, and the air smelled like pine and cold night air. He handed me a thermos of hot chocolate and a bag of sour gummy worms.
"Gourmet date night," he said with a grin.
"Classy," I replied, bumping his shoulder. "Only the finest sugar."
We laughed, but it settled into silence—the kind that's not awkward but tender. The kind that pulls you closer without needing words.
"Why me?" I asked finally, my voice barely above a whisper.
Aaron turned his head, his blue eyes reflecting moonlight. "Why not you?"
"I mean, you could've had anyone. You were always so confident. Always surrounded."
He shrugged. "None of them made me nervous the way you do."
That made me blink. "I make you nervous?"
"Terrified," he said with a soft laugh. "You're so real, Lily. You laugh with your whole face. You cry when dogs die in movies. You sing off-key, but you do it like you aren't anything but real"
My heart thudded. "I feel like I'm still figuring out who I want to be."
"That's the best part," he said. "I want to be there while you figure it out."
And just like that, he leaned in and kissed me.
It was slow, sure, nothing like Kane's stormy, confused kisses. This one felt like a steady flame—warm, careful.
I let the taste of him stay on my tongue for a while.
When I got home later that night, Kane was already in bed.
But I noticed the small things.
His hoodie was missing from the coat rack.
The shoes he always left sprawled by the door were neatly lined up.
He was cleaning up his mess.
Maybe... preparing to walk away from it.
I swallowed hard and went to bed with a storm in my stomach.
The days that followed were a blur of mixed signals and I don't know.
Aaron and I weren't official, but we sure did acted like it. He'd hold my hand while walking me to class. Leave little notes in my locker. He even brought me soup one rainy afternoon when I had a cold.
Meanwhile, Kane was distant. Cordial, polite—but colder than winter air.
Sammy noticed. She always did.
"I swear, the tension in your apartment could slice toast," she muttered as we walked together.
"I don't know how to fix it," I admitted.
"Maybe stop trying to fix everything. Let people feel what they need to feel."
"What if he hates me?"
"He won't. Trust me. If Kane hated you, he wouldn't still be hurting."
One night, I caught Kane staring at an old Polaroid of the two of us, taped to the fridge. We looked so happy in it—laughing at some beach, wind in our hair.
"You can take that down if it bugs you," I said quietly.
He looked at me, and for once, didn't flinch.
"I'm trying, Lily."
"I know."
He swallowed. "I'm sorry I kissed you like that. That night. It wasn't fair."
My eyes stung, but I nodded. "It's okay. We were both confused."
A long pause. Then—
"Is it serious? With Aaron?"
I hesitated, but only for a second.
"It's....Can we not talk about it any more?."
Kane nodded, then walked to his room.
Before closing the door, he said, "I'm hoping he will keep making you smile. Even if it hurts me a little."
And then he was gone.
The lines between past and present were a bit blurred maybe disturbed.
But somewhere, through the way I felt my heart began to steady up.
I was choosing Aaron.
Now I had to live with everything that came with that choice.