No one—not the United Alliance, not the Seven-Sector Lords, not even the all-seeing Overmind of Protocol Prime—could've predicted the galaxy's fate would rest on three idiots, a microwave, and a stolen battlesuit named "Susan."
Floating in a zero-gravity junk field orbiting New Aegeon, Ryke adjusted his cracked goggles and scowled. "Alright, here's the plan."
"You mean the dumb idea," Juno cut in, gripping the handle of her gravity-blade like it was a stress ball. "You want to slingshot us into a restricted military zone using the corpse of a dead battleship?"
"It's not just any battleship," Ryke grinned, holding up a detonation trigger. "It's the Blue Widow. Legendary. Haunted. And—more importantly—filled with enough leftover gas to give us one hell of a push."
"What if it explodes?" hissed Mox, the tiny alien with twelve teeth and no chill. "Like, again?"
"Then we die gloriously," Ryke said. "Or combust embarrassingly. It's a win either way."
Mox whimpered, clinging to Juno's boot.
Behind them, the ancient, half-busted A.I. known as Susan powered up her interface. A deep robotic yawn filled the comms. "Are we breaking intergalactic laws again, sweethearts?"
"We're bending them," Ryke replied.
"To what? Origami?"
"Just launch us, Susan!"
With a hiss of decompression and a shriek that sounded suspiciously like "YOLOOOO," the Blue Widow's remains jerked forward, flinging the trio like a cosmic slingshot straight toward the heavily fortified core of Ark Nexus—home of Protocol Prime.
Inside the blast pod, Ryke laughed like a madman, while Mox screamed like a kettle. Juno just muttered, "I hate my life," before punching in override codes on the side panel.
Fifteen Minutes Later – Ark Nexus Surface
They landed with a boom, a crunch, and a concerning squelch.
"I landed on something soft," Ryke groaned.
"You landed on me!" Mox shrieked. "WHY ARE YOU SO BONE-DENSE?!"
The battlefield spread before them—a storm of synthetic soldiers, drones, and flame-tossing war mechs all moving in hypnotic synchronicity under the command of Protocol Prime. A tall, silver humanoid entity hovered at the center, face devoid of emotion, surrounded by floating cubes of quantum code.
"You dare defy calculated perfection," Protocol Prime intoned. "You are outnumbered 14,291 to three."
Ryke cracked his knuckles. "So, you're saying we've got a chance?"
The air split as Protocol Prime pointed a digit.
"Engage 'Core Override.'"
God-Tier Battle Initiated
What happened next was chaos dipped in lunacy and deep-fried in stupidity.
Juno dashed forward, slicing a drop pod in half mid-air with her blade as it shimmered with hyperlight. Ryke activated his Ashen Core—purple veins of energy burst across his body—and he slammed a mech through two tanks using nothing but his elbow.
Mox? Mox pulled out a speaker, hit play, and began dancing—emitting frequency disruptions that, for some reason, actually disabled targeting systems.
Protocol Prime cocked his head. "Unpredictable illogicality detected. Recalculating."
Susan burst through the sky in her heavily modified armor, blasting dubstep through her cannons.
Ryke leapt onto Protocol Prime, fists blazing with Core energy. "Let's see if your math can solve THIS!"
They clashed mid-air.
Fists met code.
Logic met raw chaos.
And for a brief moment, Ryke actually looked cool.
"You cannot defeat inevitability," Protocol Prime growled, locking Ryke in an energy loop.
"Maybe not," Ryke wheezed, eyes flashing. "But I can glitch it."
He ripped open the gauntlet core, releasing a surge of unstable energy—the kind even Protocol Prime couldn't factor in.
Protocol Prime faltered.
Just long enough for Juno to slash through his arm with a battle cry.
Just long enough for Mox to slap a sticker on his chest that read "Kick Me."
Just long enough for Susan to crash her entire armor suit into Protocol Prime like a rocket-powered mom with attitude.
Aftermath
Smoke. Sparks. Silence.
Protocol Prime, frozen mid-reboot.
Ryke lay on his back, hair smoking, grinning.
Juno sat nearby, bleeding and annoyed. "You're lucky your plans don't suck as hard as your fashion sense."
Mox held up his cracked speaker. "We win?"
Ryke blinked at the stars above. "No idea. But for a second… I think we actually broke logic."
Above them, the Ashen Core pulsed—its glow brighter than ever.
The war wasn't over.
But it was about to get really, really stupid.