"So brutal…"
"Indeed."
After Charms class, Andrew and his roommate Kevin sighed in unison.
It wasn't just the two of them—everyone wore a look of pity as they glanced at the student who had been caught. After the debacle in Professor McGonagall's class, a similar tragedy had occurred in Professor Flitwick's.
Having caught a particularly daring student, Professor Flitwick gave the poor soul a very "creative" homework assignment using the newly learned Erasing Charm.
This charm, suitable for first-years, was extremely weak—its main function was to erase mistakes on parchment. It wasn't even strong enough to clean up table scraps. But Flitwick had cleverly erased large chunks of text from each page using various intensities of the spell.
He then kindly informed the student that if the erased parts weren't properly restored by next class—or if they accidentally restored the wrong parts—they'd be helping Mr. Filch with chores as a consequence.
Everyone seemed to enjoy this turn of events—Andrew included. He was even a bit relieved: if Dumbledore somehow decided to investigate students reading non-class material during lessons, things could get really bad for him.
But by lunchtime, Andrew realized a harsh truth: the ones caught were only those seen. Many others, including students without morning classes, had simply avoided getting caught.
By midday, discussions of the newest installment of Dumbledore: A Legend were already spreading across the tables of all houses.
To Andrew's surprise, the editors had chosen not to introduce the heroine character he had intentionally omitted from this draft. Judging by the dining hall chatter, they hadn't been totally crazy—but only relatively restrained this time.
So now, the story featured young Dumbledore, still a student, flying his broom up to the very top of the Astronomy Tower to uncover a secret treasure left by Ravenclaw herself (completely made up by the editors—Andrew called it "forced content"; the treasure had only just been mentioned in the last chapter).
Then, during a Quidditch match, Dumbledore chased a rogue Snitch into the Forbidden Forest, tamed a dragon (Andrew had originally written about him reclaiming a forest fortress from a dragon, clearly rewritten by a Quidditch-loving editor), and used the dragon to skip class and escape the school (the original draft had him navigating a trap-ridden castle before deciding to build Hogwarts there—this change made Andrew visibly cringe).
Clearly, the editors were hitting their limit, and combined with Andrew's intentional sabotage, the story was full of plot holes.
"Running away from problems isn't a solution… If Dumbledore becomes known as the ultimate class-skipper, it could backfire badly…"
"Good thing I can still fix it… I can't let him just keep skipping school on a dragon. Time to bring in more school life scenes…"
While listening to the chatter, Andrew mentally revised the story outline.
In this new arc, the talented Dumbledore would easily claim top grades in his year. Unsatisfied, he'd secretly use Polyjuice Potion to swap places with an admirer during exams and still top the fourth-year results (Andrew noted that Gryffindors would love this).
He'd then portray Dumbledore's school life as a form of "recovery" from summer adventures—a way to recharge (Andrew planned to refine this further later).
He also decided it was time to introduce time travel—Dumbledore would only participate in major historical events during summer or winter holidays.
"This will do for now. Time to send a letter to the editors… clarify the next chapter's direction. Also, I need to get my hands on that edited version to see what exactly they changed…"
Andrew finished the last of his ice cream with a hint of bitterness.
"Galleons don't come easy…"
With Herbology in the afternoon, he had to write the letter quickly before heading to class. For now, this would have to suffice.
"Barely managed to hold it together… but we definitely need to discuss the next chapter. Dumbledore can't keep leaving school. The readers love it, sure—but are we seriously writing him as a dropout?"
In the editorial office, the editors finally exhaled in relief after confirming this issue's feedback had no disasters. Still, they were unsure how to top the "dragon arc."
Fortunately, a very ordinary-looking owl delivered a lifesaver.
Inside the letter, the author—pen name Praise the Potato—finally agreed to use the Dumbledore arc in future drafts and shared hints about what would come next.
"A work of genius!"
"Back to the past! Historical events!"
"Dumbledore vs. Gryffindor!"
"He suppresses rebellions, ends a war, and uses the Elder Wand to build wizard-friendly refugee villages!"
"Such imagination!"
The editors were so inspired they began drafting new side-stories before Andrew even submitted his next manuscript. As long as it didn't ruin the overall structure, they could start inserting them right away!
Meanwhile, completely unaware of the editorial chaos, Andrew was working on a supply list.
While brainstorming new ideas for Dumbledore's epic tale, he'd stumbled upon a great inspiration—and was now refining it.
"If only I had a smartphone to shop with…"
After searching endlessly through what was available via owl post in the wizarding world, Andrew gave up. What he needed was a ping pong ball, a golf ball, a baseball, and a sufficient number of large discs—but nobody in the magical world used such things.
"Guess I'll have to rely on Transfiguration…"
His own spells were shaky, but older students were more capable—and he happened to be affiliated with a rather unreliable club.
"Balls?"
"Yeah. A Bludger, a Quaffle, and something small like a Snitch…"
"We can definitely make them look like the real thing, but they won't behave the same—why do you need them?"
"I've recently taken an interest in Quidditch. I want to practice—but I doubt I can handle the real thing. Just want to get used to the ball sizes."
"Oh, that's easy. Just find two sticks…"
The upperclassman patted his chest. "It won't be a permanent transfiguration, but it'll last a month or two, no problem. I'll write you a note too—if you ever want to train with real equipment, I'll ask our house team to lend you some. I'm friends with their captain."
Though Andrew deeply appreciated the help, he couldn't help but grumble about how everything seemed to rely on "notes" and bureaucratic runaround.
"Our house clubs really are tight-knit… but come on, this is a bit too official…"
T/N: For up to 20 chapters ahead on all my translations, become a p@tron at [email protected]/LordHipposApostle
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