I couldn't sleep that night. I just lay there in bed, staring at the ceiling even though it was too dark to really see anything. My brain wouldn't shut up. It just kept replaying what Nina had screamed at me in the hallway.
'You're such a dumbass.'
Yeah, she was right about that. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. I had been so sure I had it all figured out, that she was just feeling guilty or trying to mess with me. But hearing her cry like that, hearing her say her friends pushed her into dating and that she'd never even kissed anyone… I had gotten it so, so wrong.
'She wasn't being nice because of guilt, not entirely anyway,' I thought. 'Or if she was, it turned into something else, and I just stomped all over it.'
I thought about what I'd said to her. How I'd told her I didn't want rumors, how I'd accused her of not knowing anything about me. It was blunt. Too blunt. That was always my problem. I just said things, and I didn't think about how they sounded until it was too late. It was probably why I didn't have many friends. People didn't usually appreciate being hit with a verbal two-by-four.
'I really hurt her,' I realized, and my stomach twisted. Making someone cry like that, especially after she'd been nothing but nice to me, felt awful. I had wanted to push her away, to stop things from getting complicated, but I hadn't meant to completely demolish her.
So, what was I supposed to do now? Go up to her and apologize? 'Yeah, right,' I thought. 'That'll make things even weirder.' She probably hated my guts after what I said. An apology from me would probably just make her angrier, or she'd think I was just trying to fix things for my own sake.
'No,' I decided, rolling over and punching my pillow, though it didn't help much. 'I should just give her some space. Let things cool down. Maybe she'll forget about it, or at least stop being so upset.' That seemed like the safest option. Less drama for everyone, especially me.
I eventually fell asleep, but it was a crappy, restless kind of sleep.
The next morning at school, I was dreading seeing her. I walked into class slow, trying to prepare myself for… I don't know, an awkward silence, or her giving me the cold shoulder.
But when I looked over at her desk, Nina was just… Nina. She was talking to one of her friends, laughing about something. Her hair was done, makeup looked normal. She didn't look like someone who had been sobbing in the hallway less than twenty-four hours ago. She just looked… fine.
'Huh,' I thought, surprised. 'She's acting completely normal.'
I sat down at my desk, still kind of watching her out of the corner of my eye. She didn't even glance in my direction. It was like yesterday afternoon hadn't happened.
'Well, that's a good thing, right?' I told myself. 'Maybe she wasn't as hurt as I thought. Or maybe she's just good at hiding it.' I wasn't sure which it was, but if she was acting like everything was okay, then maybe I didn't need to worry so much. Maybe giving her space was the right call after all. It felt like a weight had been lifted, just a little. If she was moving on, then I could too.
That's what I thought, anyway. I figured things were going back to normal, or as normal as they could be after everything that had happened. I was just trying to mind my own business, maybe actually listen to the teacher for once.
Then the classroom door banged open. I jumped, and so did pretty much everyone else. Standing there was Tyler. He didn't look happy. In fact, he looked pissed. Really pissed.
He didn't even look around the room. His eyes were locked on me, and he started walking straight toward my desk.
'Oh, shit,' I thought. My stomach dropped. 'Here we go again.'
I figured he was going to yell at me, just like Ronnie did. Probably tell me to stay away from Nina. Which was stupid, because that was exactly what I was already doing. We were done. I didn't need him to tell me that.
I braced myself for it. I wasn't going to fight him or anything, not with my ribs still aching, but I wasn't just going to sit there and take it either. I'd say my piece if I had to.
He was getting closer, and I was trying to figure out what to say, how to handle this without making a bigger scene than it already was. He stopped right in front of my desk, looming over me.
Then he yelled, "Hey, asshole!"
Before I could even react, before I could process what was happening, his fist came out of nowhere. It connected with my jaw, hard. My head snapped to the side, and then everything went sideways as I crashed out of my chair and hit the floor.
The pain was insane. My jaw felt like it was on fire, and hitting the ground made my ribs scream. It was so much pain, all at once. I just lay there for a second, stunned, trying to breathe. It felt like that car had hit me all over again.
I heard gasps and people yelling, but it all sounded far away. My ears were ringing.
Through the haze of pain, I saw Tyler standing over me. He was breathing hard, his face still red with anger.
"Stay away from Nina," he snarled.
Then he turned around and just walked out of the classroom like nothing happened, leaving me there on the floor.
I lay there on the floor for what felt like forever, even though it was probably only a few seconds. My jaw throbbed, my ribs ached, and my head was spinning. I felt like a complete idiot. Getting punched in front of the whole class? It didn't get much more embarrassing than that.
I tried to push myself up, but my arms were shaky and my body just wasn't cooperating. I managed to get to my hands and knees, but when I tried to stand, my legs buckled and I went crashing back down. More pain shot through my ribs.
'Damn it,' I thought, my face burning. I could feel everyone staring at me. I was so pissed off I wanted to cry. Why did this crap keep happening to me? I saved a girl's life, and this was what I got? Puking in class, getting yelled at, and now getting decked by her boyfriend. Was saving Nina the wrong call?
For a second, a really awful second, I actually wondered if it had been worth it. I hated this feeling. I hated being the center of attention for all the wrong reasons.
The whispers started up again, louder this time. I could hear them buzzing all around me, little snippets of "Did you see that?" and "Tyler just knocked him out!" No one was moving to help me. They were all just watching, like it was some kind of show. I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my ears with my hands, trying to block it all out. I just wanted to disappear.
Then, through the ringing in my ears and the muffled whispers, I heard a voice. A girl's voice, close by.
"Kofi? Kofi, are you okay?"
I slowly opened my eyes. Nina was kneeling on the floor right next to me. Her face was really close to mine, and she looked worried. Really worried. Her eyes were wide, and she had one hand hovering near my arm, like she wanted to help but wasn't sure if she should touch me.
Even with my jaw throbbing and feeling like a total loser, I couldn't help but notice how pretty she was up close. Her hair fell around her shoulders, and her eyes… I don't know, they just looked really concerned. It was a weird thing to think about when I was lying on the floor in pain, but it was true. She was beautiful.
"You are so cute." I said without realizing.