As Leo and his new, quiet companion slipped out the back of the mansion, he heard the crunch of tires on the gravel driveway. The cavalry, it seemed, had arrived.
He ducked behind a line of overgrown, skeletal hedges, pulling a surprised Milo and a compliant Whisper with him.
A beat-up station wagon, adorned with a bumper sticker that read 'I Brake for Ectoplasm', skidded to a halt in front of the mansion.
Elara leaped out of the driver's seat, armed for war.
She was wearing a full khaki jumpsuit, a headlamp strapped to her forehead, and a utility belt laden with her ridiculous ghost-hunting gadgets. The 'Spectral Frequency Modulator' (a modified radio) was emitting soft static. The 'Ectoplasmic Energy Scanner' (a Geiger counter with extra blinking lights) was clicking erratically.
Alex stumbled out of the passenger side, looking deeply skeptical and profoundly uncomfortable. "Elara, are you sure about this? It just looks like an old, creepy house."
"Don't be fooled by its mundane appearance, Alex!" Elara declared, striking a dramatic pose. "The spiritual vibrations are off the charts! My dowsing rod was practically screaming on the drive over!"
She brandished the forked stick as if it were a holy relic.
Leo watched from the bushes, shaking his head in a mixture of awe and pity. He had to give her credit for her commitment to the bit.
He needed to get out of here before they spotted him. He gave Milo a look, then gestured with his head towards the back fence. Milo understood, his movements becoming even more fluid and silent. Whisper, cradled in Leo's arms, just watched with his quiet, intelligent eyes.
They began a stealthy retreat, sticking to the deepest shadows at the edge of the property.
Behind them, Elara's investigation began.
"The entity is aware of our presence!" she announced to Alex, who was currently trying to avoid a patch of poison ivy. "The air is thick with residual dread! I'm getting a high reading on the PKE meter!"
She held up her clunky device, which was, in fact, just giving a false positive because of the old, faulty wiring in the mansion's exterior lights.
Leo had to physically stifle a laugh.
He watched as Elara marched confidently towards the front door Leo had just exited.
"The primary entrance shows signs of forced spiritual entry!" she said, examining the broken hinge. "A clear sign of a powerful, aggressive entity."
Or a century of neglect and wood rot, Leo thought.
They disappeared inside. Leo picked up the pace, his small, strange family in tow.
He could still hear Elara's muffled voice from within the mansion.
"…strong thermal variations! A definitive cold spot here, Alex, feel it! Proof of spiritual energy absorption!"
Leo glanced back. He'd spilled some of the cold spring water from his bottle in that spot.
This was perfect. Better than perfect. Elara wasn't just investigating; she was creating a completely false, yet internally consistent, narrative of a haunting that he had already solved. She was the best smokescreen he could have ever asked for.
By the time Leo, Milo, and Whisper had slipped through a gap in the back fence and were walking down the quiet, tree-lined street, Elara and Alex stumbled back out of the mansion's front door.
Leo paused, hiding behind a large oak tree to watch the final act of this paranormal comedy.
Elara stood on the porch, her hands on her hips, a look of grim satisfaction on her face.
"Aha!" she declared, her voice ringing out in the twilight. "As I suspected! My advanced spiritual warding techniques have purged this manor of its malevolent energies! The poltergeist has retreated!"
Alex, who just looked cold and spooked, nodded weakly. "Yeah. Or it got bored and left."
"Nonsense!" Elara said, patting her dowsing rod. "The entity sensed our superior spiritual fortitude and fled! The vibrations are completely neutral now. Another victory for the Urban Paranormal Society! My dowsing rod never lies!"
She began scribbling furiously in her notebook, documenting her heroic, and entirely imaginary, triumph.
Leo smiled.
Right. Your dowsing rod and my cat. A powerful combination. He shook his head. Good, let her take the credit. Less paperwork for me. And fewer questions.
He turned and continued his walk home, the weight of the injured Whisper in his arms a warm, solid presence.
He looked at Milo, who was trotting beside him, tail held high, already seeming to calculate how Whisper's arrival would impact his treat allocation.
He looked at the sleeping, scruffy dog in his arms, a creature he had saved from a prison of fear.
His life was getting more crowded, more complicated, and definitely more expensive.
He arrived home to find a note on his door from his mother, along with a large, insulated bag.
The note read: "Heard you were running low on Milo's food! Also, I saw a poster for the annual city pet show this weekend. I know how talented Milo is, so I took the liberty of signing him up for the talent portion! It will be so much fun! Love, Mom."
Inside the bag was enough salmon to feed a small army.
Leo stared at the note, then at the bag, then at Milo.
And to top it all off, Sarah had signed Milo up for the local pet show.