(Alys Prov)
"Alys! Alys!"
What again? It's still early, huh.
"Why?" I asked Tofer. I'm here at my shop right now, trying to keep myself busy. I haven't done anything productive in days.
He ran into my office and closed the door. What's with him?
"Do you know? Do you know?" he shouted.
I covered my ears. He was shouting so loudly! "I'm not deaf, goodness! Just say it once, I'll hear it!" I told him.
What's the matter that he seems so excited? Don't tell me Riri is going to do another concert in the Philippines? That's all that's exciting here!
He beamed at me and placed his hands on my table. "Tripp is home!"
What?
He snapped his fingers in front of me. "Earth to Alys? Tripp is home! Why is he moving!"
Wait... Tripp is home?!
I suddenly stood up and grabbed him by both shoulders. "What? When? How? WHERE?! Where is he now?" I asked him.
He held my hand that was holding his and looked at me carefully. "Calm down, Alys. Breathe in, breathe out..." he said then guided my breathing. "There, are you okay?" he asked and I nodded. "Now, Tripp, he's at their house. I came from there earlier and then he suddenly arrived. Go see him quickly! He's especially handsome."
Psh. He still has a hidden desire.
I wanted to see him but I was scared. What would I say when we met? Hi? Hello? How's New York? Damn. I just ran out of things to say to Tripp. Before, we never ran out of things to talk about. Time really did change us.
"Aren't you going to see him?" Tofer asked me when I sat down again.
I shook my head. "Maybe tomorrow, Tofer."
"But why? You've been waiting for him for so long! He's here, oh!"
Smiling at him, I said, "There's no need to rush things like this, Tof. We'll talk too, okay? Let me do things when I want to do my things."
He sighed and then shrugged. "Fine, you said." He sat on the couch then crossed his legs. "Anyway, where did you go last night? You just disappeared, huh!"
Ah, that night. If only I could just forget everything that happened, I would have done it. But they say there are things you could never undo. Well, once you do it, it's permanently etched in your memory. The only thing you could do is to think that soon, things will get better.
I slumped back on my chair and closed my eyes. "Nothing, Tofer. Nothing."
Hard as I try to deny it, it still hurts, eh. I don't know why I'm hurting. I feel like a slut. I say I love Tripp but why did I suddenly feel sick when I saw Drake smiling with Fier? What has become of me?
I remember asking him when he was alone in his booth. He looked really drunk but he wasn't. He's still Drake. He always knows his way with words.
"Drake," I called out his name. Even though the music was loud, I knew he heard me. He looked at me and then closed his eyes. Didn't he want to see me?
I tried smiling even though I was hurting.
Is that how it felt? I wonder how he felt seeing me with Tripp? Did he feel the same way? I was like, I felt like my insides were crushing. The pain is the feeling of seeing the person you like having fun with someone else. The kind that makes you wonder why others can be happy. What is it that you don't have that makes them look for someone else to be happy?
So many questions left unanswered.
I was staring at him... and he was ignoring me. I felt like we were back in high school. But the difference now, he was ignoring me because I made him do it. I made him hate me. And I hate myself even more because of that.
Everything felt unreal. It was a mess. I don't know how we got to this point.
"W-Who is Fier?"
He chuckled at my question.
"W-Why are you laughing?" I asked. I don't know but I'm afraid of what he'll say.
He shook his head. "Why are you here, Alys?" he asked me while looking right at my eye. I can't read his eyes. Before, when I looked into his eyes, I knew what he was feeling. I knew when he was angry, when he was annoyed, when he was happy. But now? I don't know anymore. We've really broken up. The connection was long gone.
I tried to smile but I couldn't.
"I asked you first..." I whispered.
He sighed at my response. "Goodbye, Alys," he said and then he stood up. Before he could get away, I grabbed his arm.
"Drake..." I said and my voice broke. It sounded like a plea... and I guess it was indeed a plea. I looked so helpless. I used to have everything but now I felt like I have nothing. Everything was gone.
He looked at my hand that was holding him and then at my face. "Let go."
His words pierced through my heart.
Let go.
Two words but I felt like I've been stabbed a million times. Why is that? Isn't the saying 'you'll only know the value of someone when it's gone' so ironic? Why is that? Why does it have to be gone before you know the value? Doesn't that seem so bad? What's the point of knowing the value if it's not going to come back to you? Wasn't it all bullshit? Just to make you feel the pain and neglect of the person you let go of? It's unfair. So unfair.
"Drake..."
That was all I could do. Call out his name.
He muttered, "Tripp." I looked at him. "Tripp. You gave me up for him, Alys. Go to him. Stop bothering me."
He ruthlessly freed himself from my grasp and walked away. Was I being a masochist? Why was I chasing him? Why was I following him even though he told me he didn't want to?
"Drake!" I shouted.
I approached him when he stopped walking. "What's your deal?"
He looked at me. "What's my deal?" he asked me back.
I nodded at him, tears falling from my eyes. I don't know why I'm crying. Maybe because I've been acting tough but inside I was already hurting. I only showed that I was hurt now. And damn, I was hurt so bad.
"Who is Fier? Is he the one you replaced me with?!"
I don't know why I'm screaming. Was it the alcohol talking? I don't know. All I know is, it hurts.
"You're drunk."
He turned his back on me and started walking.
Damn it, Palma!
I took off my shoes and threw them at him. Even though I was drunk, I still hit his shoulder. Ugh! That shoulder that Fier grabbed earlier!
He stopped walking and picked up my shoes that I threw at him. He faced me and stopped in front of me.
"Stop it, Alys."
He knelt in front of me and put my shoes on me. I don't know why I was crying.
"Drake..." I called out his name. "Drake..."
He finished putting my shoes on me but he still didn't stand up. He was kneeling in front of me but he didn't speak. He was quiet. He was being... Drake.
I was surprised when he looked up at me, smiling.
"Alys?"
"Hmm?"
He was still smiling. "Don't be jealous. I think you know I still love you, right? When I said I love you to the moon and back, I actually meant I think I won't be able to love anyone after you. I love so a great deal, noob. You drained all my love."
He stopped for a beat.
"But that was it, Alys. We had our time. I'll always love you but please let me live a life. Don't worry about Fier, she's nothing compared to you," he said. He stood up and cupped my face. "You let me go. I let you go. We let each other go, Alys." He kissed my cheek and smiled at me. "Take care of my cousin..." he said.
His touch lingered, like I was supposed to savor every moment. As if it will never happen again.
"Best wishes."
I snapped out of my reverie and saw Tofer drinking a cup of tea.
"Hey! I was just talking to you, huh! Are you okay?" Tofer asked.
Nodding and smiling, I said yes. Drake was right. We had our closure. Maybe it was just my ego talking. I'm just not used to the idea of another woman making him smile. We let each other go. Maybe I should accept that we're really gone.
He's right.
We had our time... And it was done.
"Let's go to Tripp!" I said suddenly to Tofer. He suddenly put down his cup and smiled at me.
I think he was even more excited. Maybe he really has a crush on Tripp.
He clapped and beamed. "I'll drive! Let's go!"
Before we went to Tripp's, we picked out a cake and champagne to bring. After all, it was Tripp's sort of welcome back party!
Today was the start of something new. Finally, I had closure with Drake. I should focus on what I have now instead of regretting what I should have.
We arrived at their place after 30 minutes of driving.
"Is Tripp?"
Manang pointed to the garden. I was ahead since Tofer had parked. The art was, he didn't want to leave me in the driveway. As if someone was going to pick on him in the middle of the day in a posh village.
I was counting my footsteps when I heard some laughter.
"Shut up! I look good blonde!"
I heard his voice saying, "No. Who said that? That's just fooling you. You believed in the ball."
And then I heard some more laughter. The voices were familiar.
I walked further and then I finally saw them. The girl who was laughing with my boyfriend stood up and hugged me.
"Alys!" she said.
I hugged her back. "Kei..."