"Don't walk away! I haven't finished talking yet."
Alan was just about to proudly reveal the secrets of Silent Hill, but Bruce and Oliver, assuming he was having another one of his episodes, had already started walking into the town, talking amongst themselves.
"I'm proficient in twenty-three different forms of close-quarters combat," Bruce said, gesturing to the sword at his hip and the armored bracers on his wrists.
"Impressive," Oliver said without a hint of false modesty. "I specialize in archery. The physical range of the bow is its only limit, not the limit of my skill. I'm no slouch in a close fight, either."
"A pleasure to meet you both, truly," Alan said, catching up and wedging himself between them. "Since we're all being honest, I won't hide it anymore. I'm a dimension-hopping transmigrator with a system."
"…"
Hmm. If he had claimed to be an alien, they would have believed him without a second thought.
"I'll take point. You provide ranged support," Bruce suggested to Oliver.
"No problem."
The two of them continued their conversation, pointedly excluding Alan. They just hoped that when the time came, he wouldn't cause too much trouble. Batman and Green Arrow were both heroes forged in tragedy; neither was particularly optimistic or cheerful by nature, so ignoring Alan was their preferred coping mechanism.
As they walked through the deserted town, a sense of unease began to settle in.
"Is the intelligence wrong?" Bruce wondered aloud. The broken glass and crumbling walls of the buildings told a story of decades of abandonment. How could a cult hide here without being discovered?
"It seems this trip was for nothing," Oliver agreed.
"Don't you really want to know the secret of Silent Hill?" Alan asked, deliberately quickening his pace to walk in front of them, his expression practically begging them to ask.
"No," Bruce refused flatly. He had no intention of letting a psychopath lead the way.
"Since you're being so sincere, I'll reluctantly tell you," Alan said, clearing his throat and adopting a serious expression. In truth, if he didn't get this out, he felt like he would go crazy.
Suddenly, a thick, gray mist rose from the ground, and ash began to fall from the sky like silent, dirty snowflakes. The sudden change brought Bruce and Oliver to a halt, their eyes scanning the surroundings with alert caution.
"Holy crap, can't you wait until I'm finished talking before the world shifts?" Alan grumbled, hugging his chest sullenly. "A moment ago we were in the real world. Now we're in the Fog World. When the Otherworld comes, Silent Hill will be filled with all kinds of monsters and demons."
The buildings that had merely looked old a moment ago now seemed actively malevolent and dilapidated. This was clearly no longer the world they had just been in. They couldn't help but take Alan's words seriously.
"Alan, can you explain in detail?" Oliver asked.
"Beg me," Alan said, tilting his head to look up at the sky at a 45-degree angle. "You ignored me just now, but now you see you can't live without me."
"There's a monster!" Bruce suddenly drew his sword, his eyes fixed on the path ahead.
At some point, a humanoid monster, its arms seemingly wrapped in its own skin, had appeared and was now twisting its way toward them.
"Don't worry, it's just a Lying Figure," Alan said, looking the monster up and down. "This guy couldn't get a woman to look at him his entire life. Over time, he became twisted and turned into… well, this. He's full of malice toward women, and the hole in his chest sprays a corrosive acid. But don't worry, he'd never spray a man."
Splat!
The slap in the face came without warning. The monster immediately spat a glob of black acid at the trio. They dodged quickly, watching as the liquid ate through the asphalt, sending up plumes of white steam.
"Damn it! He must be jealous of my good looks. My beauty actually made him react!"
Alan dodged the next spray, darted in close to the monster, and began kicking it relentlessly. "I'll teach you to spray! I'll teach you to shoot! I'll teach you to have a reaction!" he cursed, kicking the creature over and over.
The poor Lying Figure was pinned face down, unable to get up and fight back against the furious assault.
"Should we help?" Oliver asked Bruce.
"Forget it. Let him have his fun." They both suspected that if they interfered, Alan, in his excited state, might just turn on them.
After venting his temper, Alan killed the monster with a single, clean sword strike.
[LYING FIGURE KILLED. +200 EXP]
He didn't forget to wag a finger at the dissolving corpse. "Remember to show me some respect in your next life."
"Alan, tell us about Silent Hill," Bruce prompted, deciding it was time to get back on track.
"Alright, Bat," Alan said, pushing up a pair of non-existent glasses. "Silent Hill was a town built around a coal mine during the pioneer days…"
"The short version, please," Bruce interrupted. Given Alan's personality, he was liable to recite half the history of the founding of America.
"Fine, you're so impatient," Alan huffed, rolling his eyes. "Okay, so there's this fangirl of the fallen angel Samael. She's obsessed, runs his fan club, the whole nine yards. Then she finds out her own sister had her idol's baby. She gets super jealous. 'You scumbag!' she thinks. 'I've been your number one fan for decades, and you never laid a finger on me! I thought you were a serious, respectable deity! Then you go and knock up my sister?' It was a tough pill to swallow.
"So, she decides to get rid of the kid. She has the little demigod tied to a grill for a good old-fashioned barbecue. They were just about to brush on the oil and sprinkle on the cumin when a bunch of party crashers broke in and rescued the half-cooked little girl.
"The girl is lying in a hospital bed, three-quarters-rare, and getting angrier by the minute. 'What's the deal with you adults and your love-hate drama? Bullying a kid like me? If you've got the guts, go try and barbecue my dad!' Then, she goes full-on psychic-rage-mode. She awakens her divine power, envelops the entire town, and creates the Fog World and the Otherworld, trapping everyone who ever wronged her inside. The worlds switch back and forth, probably because her powers have a cooldown. For years, the fan club leader and her followers have been trying to kill the girl to end the nightmare. It seems they never succeeded."
Bruce and Oliver were both silent. It seemed like they understood, but at the same time, it felt like they didn't understand at all. They could only blame Alan's uniquely abstract method of storytelling.
Back in the motel room bathroom, an old television sat on the toilet, screen-side down.
Suddenly, the screen lit up with a crackle of static.
Plop!
The next moment, something seemed to fall out.
It was Sadako, come to claim her prize. She kicked her legs free from the confines of the TV, propped her hands on the edge of the toilet bowl, and slowly lifted her wet, dripping head.
A large, waxy, yellowish-brown smear was clearly visible on her forehead. Her disheveled hair covered her face, making it impossible to read her expression, but the wisps of dark energy radiating from her body were like materialized rage, a clear sign that she was about to go berserk.
It's hateful, she thought. The most annoying thing in the world is when people don't flush.
***********
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