"Alan, calm down. The citizens of Gotham are innocent," Edward persuaded patiently, feeling for the first time that he might have a kind side after all.
Alan said seriously, "Edward, you've always said in Arkham that the Bat is smarter than you. This is your chance to prove yourself. The Bat has been kidnapped. If we can rescue him, it will indirectly prove that you are smarter than him, and you will still be firmly on the throne of the second wisest man in Gotham."
Edward was stunned. It seemed to make sense, and he had no way to refute it.
"I disagree," Cobblepot shook his head, refusing. "Batman is the enemy of Gotham's criminals." He was unwilling to live in fear of the Bat anymore.
"In your confrontation with the Bat, are you not making progress together? Without him, you will remain where you are and eventually be eliminated by the next wave of criminals. I hope you can recognize your own limitations."
"I'm different…"
Bang!
Alan had rarely tried to persuade someone so patiently, but the Penguin was being very disrespectful. Since logic didn't work, physics would have to do.
Immediately, Alan punched through the solid brick wall, his entire arm buried in it. He still said kindly, "Can your twenty years of kung fu block this punch?"
"I… I don't agree with anyone hurting Batman," Cobblepot said righteously, his tune changing instantly. "And I will resolutely crack down on all dangerous elements."
"Good ideological awareness," Alan nodded with satisfaction. It turned out the cornerstone of justice was, in fact, physics.
Edward asked, "What should we do?"
"First, tie up the mayor."
"Ah!?"
"…"
The rain stopped, and the day came. In an abandoned warehouse, a group of masked kidnappers held an old man who was about to retire. Disaster had come from the sky while he was at home. Hamilton had been sleeping soundly in the middle of the night when suddenly a group of masked men broke into his house, knocked him unconscious with a stick, and took him away.
Pulling off the hood, he saw the three men in front of him and more than a dozen masked kidnappers.
Mmph! Mmph!
He wanted to beg for mercy, but with a sock stuffed in his mouth, he couldn't help but hope that it wasn't someone else's. At least if it were his own sock, he would feel a little better.
A man stepped forward and untied the gag from Hamilton's mouth. He immediately shouted, "Batman, Penguin, Riddler! I am the mayor! Do you know what you are doing?"
"Let me go right now, or the entire Gotham City police force will be looking for you," Hamilton threatened, pretending to be calm.
Cobblepot pressed the tip of his umbrella against the man's nose and said with a fierce smile, "Don't play dumb. Tell me where the real Batman is."
"I don't understand what you're saying." A look of panic crossed Hamilton's face. Of course, he knew that the person in front of him was not the real Batman, but he could not reveal the secret.
"Let me do the torture," Alan said, holding a gecko in his hand as he walked toward the stubborn Hamilton.
"What are you doing? Please stop! Don't do that!" In horror, Hamilton watched as the other man stuffed a large gecko into his crotch. He twisted his body in fear and shouted, "Take it out! Take it out quickly! Don't do this, ahhh~"
"Huh?" Alan tilted his head and said awkwardly, "I seem to have made the old man happy."
Hamilton bit his lip, his body tense, his face showing no sign of pain or pleasure, which made the kidnappers look at him with disgust.
"Damn it! I'm here to punish you, not give you a good time!" Alan said angrily. "Unbutton his shirt! I want to show my authority as the Minister of Justice!"
The kidnappers were not picky and simply tore off his shirt with one hand.
At this time, Alan prepared two glass test tubes as thick as his arms, filled with large wasps. "Edward, press these on both sides of his chest."
"…"
Edward did as he was told. A wasp sting on the chest was equivalent to breast augmentation.
It didn't take long before Hamilton pleaded, "I'll talk! Please stop!"
"No, you don't want to tell me," Alan said, taking out a large yellow eel. He waved it at the old man and introduced it, "This is a wild Pokémon I caught. It's very likable."
Alan put the half-dead eel close to his ear and began to direct and act out a scene in a very serious manner. "Hmm… you talk and I'll listen… What? Isn't this too cruel?… You mean that dishonest people should be subjected to the ten tortures of the Ministry of Justice?… No, I'm afraid he can't handle it at his age."
Everyone felt a chill as they watched Alan's episode. His level of madness was no longer suitable for treatment; he should be humanely destroyed.
"I really don't know where Batman is!" Hamilton couldn't wait to reveal the information, fearing that something terrible might happen to him in the next minute. "The masterminds behind this are all wealthy people in Gotham City! They're holding a party at the Empire Hotel at 8:30 tonight, as if to celebrate something big!"
"The information is in hand. Let's go."
Hamilton was left tied up alone in the warehouse as Alan and the others left. Later that night, as the sound of sirens approached, a glimmer of hope rose in his heart. But when he looked down at his chest, tears could not stop flowing.
"Don't come in! Don't come in! I have no face to live anymore! I don't want to live!"
Bang!
The warehouse door was violently opened. Commissioner Gordon led the team in and immediately saw the mayor tied to a chair in the center. The sight in front of him made his old face blush.
The Empire Hotel was the first choice for the banquets of the rich. Expensive cars stopped at the door, and the doorman immediately came forward to open the doors and welcome the wealthy guests. The men wore custom-made suits without tags, and the women wore fashionable designer evening gowns. The cheapest thing on them was probably their underwear.
Tonight, all the rich and powerful people in Gotham City were here. They controlled sixty percent of the wealth of the entire city.
As guests arrived one after another, the banquet hall became crowded. They formed small circles, raising their glasses and communicating with each other. At this time, a man walked onto the stage and tapped the microphone lightly with his fingers.
Tap, tap, tap…
Suddenly, the whole place fell silent. Everyone looked at the man at the same time. Behind him hung a round clock, and the next second, the hour hand pointed to nine o'clock.
Dong, dong, dong…
"Ladies and gentlemen, in nine minutes, we will usher in a great moment," the man's passionate speech began. "Everyone here is a witness. Everyone here has contributed and will surely reap their due rewards."
The audience was filled with enthusiasm. They didn't just want wealth; they wanted power, and they even hoped to gain eternal life.
"Hehehehe…" A hideous and penetrating laughter echoed in the banquet hall, and a Batman dressed in a punk-style, spiked battle suit landed on the stage. To be precise, it was the visage of the Batman Who Laughs.
"The crazy feast begins now."
"Hehehehe…"
The crazed laughter, far from frightening the crowd, seemed to stimulate every nerve in their bodies. Everyone's face involuntarily revealed a fanatical expression.
This was because they were all members of the Court of Owls, and the Batman Who Laughs was their god.
(TL: I think this is Au?)
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