I always thought I'd die heroically.
Maybe saving a child from a burning building. Or kicking a mana-mutated bear in the face. Something cool enough to make people say, "Damn, that guy had balls."
Instead, I died slipping on a half-empty bottle of passion fruit lube in the locker room of Pumped Palace Gym, pants down, phone still playing "Step-sis Stuck in Dungeon XXIV."
Not my proudest moment.
There was no white light. No tunnel. Just a sudden slap of cold air, blinding neon pink UI panels, and a voice in my head that sounded like a horny weather girl trying to sell me protein powder.
[Initializing Eros Sync… Loading Libido Core… Please do not resist synchronization.]
I blinked. I was floating naked in a glowing red void. There were sparkles. There were moans echoing in the distance. There was a butt-shaped cloud drifting past me.
Was I high? Or dead? Or in a very illegal VR game?
[Eros System Linked. Welcome, Duelist. You have been selected for the Pleasure Duelist Program due to your... lack of talent, charm, fame, and a tragic backstory involving body oil and zero girlfriends.]
"Hey! I'll have you know I almost dated my coworker in high sch—"
[Correction: She used you for free Wi-Fi.]
"…Wow. Okay. This is personal now."
📜 [System Message: Tutorial Initiated]
Name: Reo Vale
Class: Pleasure Duelist (Lv. 1)
Current Status: Respawned Virgin
Libido Core: Dormant
Stamina: Below Average
Charm: Embarrassing
Style Rating: You Wore Crocs to a Strip Club (Penalty Applied)
[First Mission: Survive. Second Mission: Seduce. Third Mission: Stream It.]
I groaned. "This can't be real."
[Error: Reality has been overwritten by the Eros Cataclysm. Please adapt.]
I jolted awake in a bed that smelled like coconut lube and danger. I was back in my body—mostly. Except something felt… heavy between my legs. Like I'd stuffed a baseball bat down my boxers and it was mad about being there.
[System Message: Congratulations! You've been granted your starting evolution: "Rod of Virility".]
[Passive Unlocked: Hung Like Heroic Myth – You are now a danger to tight pants and seatbelts.]
[Please seek immediate stamina training to avoid passing out from arousal backlash.]
"…What."
Enter: Zara Nyx.
I turned my head—and nearly snapped my neck doing it. She stood over me like a muscle goddess sculpted out of lewd tension and bad decisions. Sports bra. High-cut shorts. Abs you could open bottles with. And a smirk that said she'd seen things—and maybe done half of them in front of a mirror.
"Rise and grind, rookie," she said, flicking her towel at my chest. "You're late for EroCombat Conditioning."
"You're my… trainer?" I croaked.
She leaned down, voice smooth as satin and smug as hell. "Name's Zara. I build bodies and break egos. Lucky you, I'm into fixer-uppers."
📜 [New Trainer Detected: Zara Nyx – Ero Gladiatrix]
Training Perks Unlocked:
– Sweat Like a Sinner: +20% stamina gain when embarrassed
– Moan Buffer: Groans during training no longer count against dungeon stealth checks
– Assisted Flexibility: Zara may reposition you. You may not survive it.
First session? Brutal.
She made me do reverse wall planks while holding a vibrating dumbbell between my thighs to "stimulate tension response." Every time I dropped it, I got zapped with a "discipline pulse."
Spoiler: I dropped it a lot.
"You're sweating already?" she teased, standing over me. "Didn't even get to the thrust reps yet."
"I—ngghh—this is hazing."
"This is foreplay," she said, with a wink that made my abs cramp harder than the workout.
After two hours of erotic torture disguised as stamina training, I was sore, leaking sweat, and questioning everything I ever thought I knew about squats. Just as I thought I'd get a break—
[System Message: First Casting Call Acquired!]
🎬 Studio: Untainted Holes Entertainment
🎭 Scene Type: Chemistry Duel – Intro Audition
Partner: Mira Lune (Veteran Star, Fame Tier B+)
[Quest: Pass chemistry duel and earn your first EroPoints. Warning: Failure will result in public humiliation and meme status.]
Zara grinned. "Guess what, stud? You've got five minutes to shower and not look like a dying ferret. Mira hates flop sweats."
Scene: Casting Room, Untainted Holes Entertainment HQ
I sat across from Mira Lune, a woman so professionally hot I'm convinced she once melted a camera lens. She looked at me like I was a bug on her casting couch.
"Speak," she said flatly.
"Hi! I'm Reo. First day. Just respawned. Still processing my evolutionary… rod."
"…Wow."
A voice whispered in my head:
[System: Charisma Duel Initiated! Mira's Libido Pressure: 7/10. Your Charm Rating: 2. Good luck, loser.]
My pants got tighter. My brain got dumber. My tongue betrayed me.
"So uh… do I need to sign something? Or are we just gonna feel it out?"
She raised one perfect eyebrow. Then stood up. Walked around me. Sat… on the armrest of the couch. Too close. Too powerful. She leaned in, brushed her fingers under my chin, and whispered—
"You're nervous. That's cute. But cute doesn't get you screen time. Impress me."
[Chemistry Duel Activated: Match Her Energy or Die Inside.]
[Your Response?]
➤ (A) Flirt
➤ (B) Compliment
➤ (C) Panic
➤ (D) All of the Above
I chose D.
Somehow, it worked.
[System Message: Duel Passed! Mira's Impression: "Not entirely hopeless."]
[+150 EroPoints]
[+5 Fame]
[+1 Libido Control]
[Title Unlocked: "Blushing Beginner"]
Afterward, I didn't get time to breathe.
[System Alert: First Dungeon Assigned!]
🎥 Dungeon Type: Pleasure Ruins – Streamed Set
🎞️ Cover Story: "Lust of the Lost Temple"
🎯 Objective: Defeat monsters. Seduce illusions. Escape with loot and dignity intact.
Note: Viewers are already watching.
Inside the dungeon, I was hit by charm spores in the first room. Spent twenty minutes tangled in pleasure vines that moaned when touched. One illusion succubus tried to convince me she was my childhood crush. I accidentally called her "mom." I'm still recovering.
And yet—somehow—I survived.
Bloodied. Flushed. Fame bar glowing.
Until I reached the treasure chest at the center of the Lust Altar.
[System: You Have Obtained a Forbidden Skill!]
Skill: "Overdrive Orgasmic Counterstrike" – Triggered when pinned, stunned, or otherwise overwhelmed. Converts shame into kinetic force.
[Warning: Banned in most legal duels. Use with caution.]
I stared at the glowing skill icon.
"…What the f—"
To be continued.