Jerry lay sprawled across his bed like he was part of the furniture. One hand held his phone, doom-scrolling through videos of gym fails and cursed memes. The other lazily scratched at his chest. His brain had officially clocked out.
Then, like a slap from the universe:
đ» [System Notification]
Quest: Time to Level Up Your Living Situation
Objective: Move into assigned dorm by tonight
Reward: Access to dorm-exclusive events & storyline
Penalty: Forced relocation⊠by teleportation
Jerry groaned and tossed the phone aside. "This system has worse timing than my ex."
Zen:"Time to stop living with your laundry pile, bro."
Alric:"Do you even have sheets packed?"
Ragnar:"Just don't forget the lubeâfor your lips, obviously. Wouldn't want dry goodbye kisses."
Muttering under his breath, Jerry stood up, stretched, and started chucking stuff into a half-open duffel. He packed like he livedâchaotically. A hoodie, mismatched socks, some ramen packets, maybe even the one functional charger he owned. With a final grunt, he zipped it up and slung it over his shoulder.
Campus dorm blocks glowed under the late evening sky, casting long shadows that danced across the concrete. He found his way to Room 316 and tapped his keycard. A small beep, a soft click, and the door swung open.
And... wow. The room wasn't a shoebox. In fact, it was decent. Clean bed, compact desk, tiny kitchen, andâholy hellâa private bathroom.
"Huh," Jerry said, genuinely surprised. "I was expecting... you know, a shared toilet and some flickering ceiling fan possessed by regrets."
Zen:"Look at you, private suite king."
Alric:"Still gonna forget to flush, probably."
Ragnar:"Now you can cry and snack at the same time in peace."
He was halfway to flopping onto the mattress when the door burst open.
A guy stumbled in, dragging a suitcase like it was full of bricks. "Yo! What's up, bro? You the other guy? I call dibs on the window."
Jerry blinked. "Uh⊠what?"
The dude froze mid-step, squinted at the room number on the wall, then at his keycard. Slowly, realization dawned.
"âŠOh crap. I'm supposed to be in 361."
And just like that, he backed out in silence, closing the door behind him like he'd just walked into the wrong bathroom stall.
Zen:"Dude thought he was in a sitcom."
Alric:"At least now you can finally masturbate without fear."
Ragnar:"Freedom's just another word for uninterrupted hand time."
Jerry grabbed a pillow and hurled it at the ceiling. "I hate all of you."
Trying to shake the awkward encounter off, he headed out to check the rest of the dorm. The common lounge buzzed with voices and music. On the bulletin board, one flyer screamed for attention:
đ DORM MIXER â TONIGHT @ 9PM"Meet. Mingle. Regret Everything.
"đ Food. đ¶ Music. đ Chaos.
đ» [System Quest Activated: Operation Social Integration]
Attend the Mixerđž Make an impressionđž Bonus: Trigger a unique scene
Reward: System Shop Tier 1
Failure: -3 Charisma + "Most Awkward Human" title
Jerry read it twice, then exhaled. "Meet and mingle or get system-roasted. Nice."
Zen:"High stakes. No pressure."
Ragnar:"Do some push-ups. Flex those arms."
Alric:"Please don't wear that shirt with the dried ramen stain."
Back in his room, something new sat on the deskâa glowing box that hadn't been there before.
đ» [System Gift: Party Starter Pack â Wardrobe Edition]
Resort Shirt (+1 Confidence)
White Vest(+1 Looks)
BaggyFit Dark Jeans (+1 Mobility)"
Smell Like a Main Character" Cologne (???)
Jerry raised an eyebrow. "Do I have a wardrobe fairy now?"
He pulled on the clothes. Not bad. The shirt hugged his shoulders just right, and the jeans didn't scream 'try-hard.' The cologne? Actually smelled⊠decent.
He looked at himself in the mirror.
"Still me. Just⊠slightly less like I lost a fight with my closet."
A timer blinked in the corner of his vision.
âł Mixer Starts In: 02:13:12
He sat back on the bed, mind already racing with social disaster scenarios.
"Okay, Jerry," he mumbled. "Don't be weird. Don't spill anything. Don't flirt with someone and accidentally insult their dog."
Zen:"That felt weirdly specific."
Ragnar:"Calling it nowâsomeone's falling on top of you."
Alric:"And thus begins your descent into harem hell."
Jerry laughed under his breath. His nerves were twitching, but not enough to stop him. Worst case? He'd awkward-laugh his way through, grab a free soda, and disappear.
He stood up, rolled his neck, and tried a confident face in the mirror. Failed. Tried again. Looked like he was about to rob a convenience store.
"Okay, so⊠just be regular awkward. Not serial killer awkward."
The hallway was alive with energy now. Music thumped faintly from the common room, and people drifted past him in clumpsâlaughing, showing off outfits, carrying ridiculous snacks. One guy had a headband made of glowsticks and what looked like a gallon of nacho cheese in a thermos.
Jerry followed the noise, adjusting his collar and muttering:
"Let's get this over with."
Zen:"Ready, Firestarter?"
Ragnar:"It begins."
Alric:"Pray no one recognizes you from the gym shorts incident."
The common room doors opened, and warm lights, chatter, and the buzz of possibility washed over him. He took one step inside, then another.
And just like that, Jerry Firestarter walked into the chaos.