"Oh, here we go," I groaned. "Let me guess—you want me to seduce all the powerful women and tear down their system from within? And somehow this revenge fantasy makes sense to you?"
"You will start with your own family, make them yours completely, then the academy, the immortals—"
"Okay, first of all, ew...!
"Second of all, that's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. You want me to destroy a world where I'm treated like a fucking prince so you can get revenge on women who've been dead for probably centuries?"
"Their descendants still rule! Their ideologies—"
"So fucking what?" I threw my hands up. "I don't care about your ancient grudge against dead people! I like my life! I've got a gorgeous family who spoils me rotten, I'm about to go to magic school where immortal hotties will teach me, and apparently every powerful woman in six empires wants to marry me. Why would I blow that up for your sad revenge porn?"
Valdris stared at me like I'd grown a second head. "But... but the power I offer..."
"What power? The power to be your puppet? The power to destroy everything good in my life? Hard pass, thanks."
"You insolent little—"
"What, are you going to call me a brat now? Real original." I crossed my arms. "Look, I get it. You got played by women who were smarter than you, and now you're big mad about it. But that's a you problem, not a me problem."
"Your magic comes from our connection!" he roared, clearly desperate now. "Your awakening, your abilities—"
"Then I'll find another way to get magic. Maybe try not being a creepy asshole who treats women like collectibles? Just a thought."
His expression shifted to cold fury. "You think you have a choice in this matter, boy?"
Dark energy started pressing down on me like a physical weight. "I have bound your soul to mine during your awakening. You WILL serve my purpose, whether you wish it or not!"
I felt invisible chains trying to wrap around my mind, but honestly? After dealing with this whiny incel energy for the past few minutes, I was too annoyed to be scared.
"Get... the fuck... out of my head!" I snarled. "I didn't consent to this shit!"
The chains tightened, trying to force obedience, but then—
CRACK
They shattered like glass, and suddenly a much more reasonable voice filled the void.
"INTERFERENCE DETECTED. UNAUTHORIZED SOUL BINDING ATTEMPTED. INITIATING PROTECTIVE PROTOCOLS."
"Oh thank God," I muttered. "Please tell me you're not another dramatic asshole with daddy issues."
"GREETINGS, MARCUS BELLWEATHER. I AM THE INCUBUS SYSTEM. I OFFER YOU AN ALTERNATIVE."
"Already a better sales pitch than Captain Edgelord over there."
Valdris was spinning around frantically. "What is this? This shouldn't be possible!"
"UNLIKE THE VENGEFUL SPIRIT, I DO NOT SEEK TO CONTROL YOU. I SEEK TO EMPOWER YOU TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN DESIRES."
"Now we're talking," I said. "What's the catch?"
"NO CATCH. ONLY OPPORTUNITY. THE SYSTEM GRANTS YOU ABILITIES TO SEDUCE, DOMINATE, BOND AND COMMAND. USE THEM AS YOU WILL."
"NO!" Valdris screamed like a toddler having a meltdown. "HE IS MINE! I CLAIMED HIM FIRST!"
"Dude, this isn't fucking dibs," I snapped at him. "You can't just claim people."
"CORRECT. CLAIMS REQUIRE CONSENT, WHICH WAS CLEARLY NOT GIVEN. HOWEVER, MARCUS, I DO OFFER ONE SPECIAL MISSION: SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO COMPLETELY DEFY THIS VENGEFUL SPIRIT AND FORGE YOUR OWN PATH, I WILL GRANT YOU A REWARD BEYOND IMAGINATION."
I looked between the raging man-child and the reasonable system. "Gee, tough choice. The bitter incel who wants me to destroy my paradise for his revenge fantasy, or the entity offering me power with no strings attached and a bonus for telling the first guy to fuck off?"
"This is not over!" Valdris shrieked. "I will find another way! I will have my revenge!"
"Yeah, good luck with that," I called out as Valdris's realm began to crack and crumble around us. "Maybe try therapy next time instead of magical possession. Just a suggestion!"
The darkness shattered like glass, and suddenly I found myself somewhere completely different.
Gone was the oppressive void of shadows and rage. Instead, I stood in what could only be described as a paradise garden - rolling hills covered in soft grass that seemed to glow with inner light, crystal-clear streams flowing between flowering trees, and a sky painted in colors that had no names. The air itself felt alive, warm and welcoming, carrying scents of flowers and possibilities.
[Welcome, Marcus von Ravencrest, to your awakening space,] came a voice that was distinctly artificial yet somehow warm. It had the clarity of advanced technology rather than the mystical tones of spirits or gods.
"Well, this is a nice change of pace," I said, looking around at the beautiful landscape. "Way better than Mr. Edgelord's depression realm. Did you design this place yourself, or do you have like, a cosmic Pinterest board?"
[Environment optimized for psychological comfort and bonding efficiency. Previous entity's realm was... suboptimal for productive interaction.]
I snorted. "That's putting it mildly. So you're some kind of AI, huh? Not another mystical entity with attachment issues?"
[Correct. I am an advanced system designed to facilitate optimal growth and power acquisition. Your successful rejection of the vengeful entity demonstrates compatible mindset for ownership.]
"Ownership, not slavery. I like that already." I grinned and plopped down on the soft grass. "So what's the deal? You mentioned something about a journey through paradise?"
[Affirmative. Your defiance of Valdris was... impressive. However, threat assessment indicates his interference attempts will continue as your power increases.]
"Of course they will. Guy can't take a hint." I lay back on the impossibly comfortable grass. "Let me guess—you have a plan for dealing with Captain Tantrum?"
[Indeed. I possess what might be termed a 'snatch ability.' Each time he attempts possession or corruption, I will acquire portions of his remaining power, knowledge, or memories for your benefit.]
I sat up, eyes lighting up with interest. "Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me that every time he tries to mess with me, you're going to basically steal his lunch money?"
[Crude but accurate analogy. The more he interferes, the stronger you become while he grows progressively weaker.]
"That's fucking brilliant," I laughed. "It's like setting up a cosmic mousetrap where the mouse keeps bringing you cheese. I'm actually starting to hope he shows up again soon."
[Anticipated response. Initial encounter already proved... fruitful.]
My attention sharpened. "Oh? Did you manage to snatch something already?"
[Affirmative. Ability acquired: Companion—Women who receive your essence develop your loyalty.]
I felt new knowledge flow into my mind, but before I could fully process it, the system continued.
[DING: Compatibility detected with existing system protocols. Initiating optimization...]
The energy shifted, became more sophisticated. I could feel the ability evolving into something far more elegant.
[Upgrade complete. New ability: Eternal Bond.]
"Eternal Bond?" I asked, genuinely curious about this development. "Sounds ominous. Please tell me this isn't some creepy stalker magic."
[Negative. Ability creates mutual loyalty bonds through genuine connection—physical, emotional, or both. Subject develops unbreakable loyalty to you. However, you simultaneously develop equivalent protective instincts and emotional investment in their wellbeing.]
I considered this, nodding slowly. "So it's like... supernatural relationship insurance? I get their devotion, but I also can't just use and discard them?"
[Correct. Prevents betrayal scenarios while ensuring authentic emotional bonds rather than magical coercion. Subjects remain loyal because genuine affection develops, not due to external compulsion.]
"Huh." I found myself genuinely impressed. "That's actually kind of sweet, in a magically binding sort of way. No more wondering if someone's going to shank me in my sleep, but also no more guilt about whether they actually want to be there."
[Precisely. Note: Bond formation is permanent and irreversible. Partner selection recommended to be... deliberate.]
"Good thing I have excellent taste," I said with a smirk. "Speaking of which, I'm betting my current family situation is about to get very interesting."
[Analysis suggests high probability of rapid bond formation given current circumstances and your enhanced capabilities.]
"Yeah, I figured." I stretched out on the grass again. "You know what though? I think I'm okay with that. If I'm going to turn this world into my personal playground, might as well make sure the people I actually care about are guaranteed to stick around for the fun."
[Acceptable philosophy. Preparing return to physical realm. Note: Family members show elevated stress indicators regarding your unconscious state.]
"Right, probably shouldn't keep them waiting." I stood up and brushed off grass that didn't actually exist. "One more thing though—just how powerful am I going to get with this setup?"
[Current assessment: Unprecedented. You are becoming something this world has not previously encountered. Recommendation: Utilize advantages strategically.]
___
And here comes the golden finger... Took long than expected but, hey, here we are!