*Chapter 1: Discarded & Definitely Pissed**
Pain. That was Kai's entire world. A deep, bone-grinding ache radiating from his ribs, his back, his face. He tasted blood and dirt. He cracked open one swollen eye, blinking against the harsh afternoon sun filtering through the ancient trees of the Whispering Woods. Right. Not a nightmare. Still here. Still discarded.
*Flashback:* The stone courtyard of the Verdant Cloud Sect. Sneering faces. Lin Feng, his *former* best friend, standing triumphant after their duel – a duel Kai never stood a chance in. "Trash," Lin Feng spat, the word echoing. "The Kai family doesn't need a cripple who can't even gather Qi." Then the boot to his ribs, the dismissive wave. "Take him out. Let the beasts have him." The shame burned hotter than the bruises.
Kai groaned, trying to push himself up. Agony lanced through his side. *Cripple.* The word echoed. Born into a minor cultivation family, Kai possessed a meridian network like cracked pottery – Qi leaked out faster than he could gather it. Years of brutal training, herbs that cost his family dearly, mockery... all for nothing. Until Lin Feng, jealous of Kai's family connections, orchestrated his fall. Now, dumped in the spirit beast-infested woods, he was literal prey.
"Okay, universe," Kai rasped, spitting out blood. "Real funny. Any time you wanna throw me a bone? Maybe a slightly less painful death?" He wasn't expecting an answer. Just venting his very justified anger before becoming some Shadowfang Wolf's dinner.
**< < Ding! >>**
The sound wasn't loud, but it echoed inside his skull with impossible clarity. A shimmering, translucent blue rectangle materialized before his eyes. Words scrolled across it in crisp, glowing script:
**Welcome, Host!**
**The 'Absolute Bullshit Cultivator' System has activated!**
**Initializing... Scanning Host...**
Kai blinked. Then blinked again. The pain momentarily forgotten in a wave of sheer, dumbfounded disbelief. "Are you... shitting me? 'Absolute *Bullshit* Cultivator'? What kind of name is that?" He half-expected it to vanish, a hallucination born of concussion and despair.
**Host Status: Critical Injury. Meridian Network: Severely Compromised (Designation: 'Cracked Teacup'). Cultivation Base: Mortal (Peak Level Trash). Threat Assessment: High (Local Fauna Hungry).**
**Initialization Complete!**
**First Login Reward Package Unlocked!**
**Claim Y/N?**
Kai stared. This was insane. Cultivation systems were the stuff of drunken tavern tales told by failed outer disciples. Legends. Myths. Yet... the blue screen remained, pulsing gently. The name was ridiculous, but... *Reward Package*. The words glowed enticingly. He had nothing left to lose except maybe becoming wolf poop slightly faster.
"Y," he croaked mentally. "Yeah. Claim it. Hit me with your best shot, Bullshit System."
**<< Ding! >>**
**Reward Package Claimed!**
**Rewarding:**
**1. 'Basic Qi Reconstruction Elixir' (Instantaneous Effect).**
**2. 'Heavenly Step' Movement Technique (Beginner Tier - Instant Mastery).**
**3. Minor Qi Condensation Pill x3.**
Before Kai could even process the names, a wave of pure, cool energy washed through him. It felt like liquid sunlight pouring into his cracks. The agonizing pain in his ribs vanished. The swelling around his eye receded. The constant, draining emptiness in his dantian – the core where cultivators store Qi – was suddenly replaced by a faint, warm hum. He gasped, sitting bolt upright, patting his chest. *Healed.* Instantly. The 'Cracked Teacup' wasn't fixed, but the leaks... they felt patched. Temporarily? Permanently? He didn't know, but he felt *whole* for the first time in memory.
Next, knowledge flooded his mind – intricate footwork patterns, ways to channel the faintest wisp of Qi into his legs for bursts of speed, balance points he'd never considered. The 'Heavenly Step' technique settled into his consciousness like he'd practiced it for years. Three warm pulses settled into his palm – the condensation pills.
**Objective Updated: Survive the Whispering Woods.**
**Reward: 100 System Points. Unlock 'System Shop (Basic Tier)'.**
A low, guttural growl ripped through the peaceful birdsong. Kai froze. Emerging from the dense undergrowth barely twenty paces away was a Razorback Boar. Easily the size of a small pony, its beady eyes fixed on Kai, tusks gleaming wickedly. Its thick hide pulsed with faint, bestial Qi. This wasn't just a hungry animal; it was a low-level spirit beast. Mortal trash like Kai *was* dinner.
Panic surged, cold and sharp. Then... the System screen pulsed. *Survive.* He had the pills. He had the knowledge of the Heavenly Step burning in his legs. He had... well, bullshit.
The boar charged, a terrifying mass of muscle and tusks tearing up the forest floor.
Instinct, fueled by the newly implanted Heavenly Step technique, took over. Kai *pushed* with his legs, not with muscle, but with the faint trickle of Qi now humming in his repaired meridians. He didn't run *away*; he darted *sideways* with impossible, almost comical speed, like a startled crab infused with lightning. He felt the wind of the boar's passing ruffle his torn robes.
*Whoa.* He stumbled but didn't fall. The boar skidded, confused, snorting angrily. It turned, readying another charge.
Kai didn't wait. He popped one of the Minor Qi Condensation Pills into his mouth. It dissolved instantly, flooding his dantian with a surge of raw energy far greater than anything he'd ever felt – more potent than months of his old, leaky cultivation. The feeling was intoxicating. Power. Actual, usable power.
He grinned, a fierce, slightly unhinged expression on his battered face. He focused the new Qi into his legs, feeling the Heavenly Step technique resonate.
The boar charged again. This time, Kai didn't just dodge. He *flowed*. He stepped *onto* a low-hanging branch with preternatural lightness, used it to spring *over* the charging beast, landing lightly behind it. The boar slammed into a tree trunk where Kai had just been, momentarily dazed.
Kai landed, the surge of Qi making him feel giddy. He looked at his hands, then at the confused, angry boar. A laugh bubbled up, raw and incredulous. "Absolute Bullshit Cultivator?" he muttered, a wild spark in his eyes. "Okay, System. You and me? We might just get along."
He didn't have offensive techniques. He wasn't ready to fight the boar head-on. But survival? With this speed? With this sudden, ridiculous influx of power?
He focused, Qi humming in his legs. "Alright, Porky," Kai said, adopting a ridiculous, low stance he felt the Heavenly Step demanded. "Let's dance."
He didn't attack. He *moved*. A blur of ragged robes and sudden direction changes, zig-zagging through the trees, leading the enraged boar on a chaotic, frustrating chase. Kai laughed again, the sound echoing through the woods – the laugh of a discarded cripple who just found the universe's cheat code.
He wasn't just surviving. He was running circles around a spirit beast on his *first day* with the System. The path to overpowered, it seemed, started with running away really, really fast. And maybe a little bit of absolute bullshit.
**System Points Gained: 10 (Evasion Bonus).**
**<< Ding! >>**