Kaelen's casual confession—"There was a slight equipment malfunction"—landed in the Smith living room with the impact of an asteroid.
Rick's reaction was immediate and spectacular.
"EQUIPMENT MALFUNCTION?!" he shrieked, his face losing all color. He threw the tool in his hand and began pacing in circles like a caged animal. "No! No, no, no! An equipment malfunction is not an option! Those were military-grade barrier nanobots! Safer than abstinence! A 'malfunction' means it was intentional!"
He stopped and pointed a trembling finger at Padmé. "You! You did this on purpose! You've condemned this universe to the possibility of a grandchild of mine! Do you have any idea what you've done?!"
Kaelen leaned back into the couch, crossing his arms behind his head, and watched the spectacle with a grin of pure satisfaction. For the first time, he had managed to put Rick Sanchez C-137 on the defensive, and he was savoring every second.
"I'm calculating the permutations right now..." Rick ranted, now scribbling equations on a napkin. "The Force sensitivity of a Skywalker, the political stubbornness of an Amidala, and my own goddamn super-genius. It's a cocktail for an omnipotent tyrant! It could spite-age universes! It could turn galaxies into paperweights! It could have... feelings! It would be a nightmare!"
While Rick spiraled into his cosmic panic, the rest of the family had a completely different reaction. They completely ignored the ranting patriarch.
Beth was the first to approach Padmé. A genuine, tired smile touched her face.
"Well," she said, sitting beside her. "If you can survive my dad as an alternate-genetic-father-in-law, raising a kid will be a piece of cake." She gave Padmé a gentle pat on the shoulder. "Congratulations, Padmé. Really."
"Oh, a baby! How wonderful!" Jerry exclaimed, rushing over, his eyes shining with simple joy. "That means I'll be a kind of great-uncle! I've always wanted to be a great-uncle. Do you think they'll like model trains? I can teach them all about G-25 post-war models!"
Summer, who had been observing everything with a mix of horror and fascination, shrugged. "Wait, so my cousin would be like... a space prince with Jedi powers and a metal arm? Okay, that's a little cooler than just being my uncle." She looked at Padmé. "I guess congratulations. Try not to make them as whiny as Morty."
"Hey!" Morty whined, but then approached Padmé, with a shyness that contrasted with the chaos around him. "W-wow, Padmé. A... a baby. Th-that's... that's really great. I'm sure you'll be a great mom."
Padmé felt overwhelmed, not by Rick's panic, but by the unexpected, strange warmth from his family. She went from being a stranger from another galaxy to being, in their own dysfunctional way, part of their circle. "Thank you," she said, her voice filled with genuine emotion. "Thank you all."
Kaelen watched the scene, enjoying the irony. Rick, the being who could create and destroy life at will, was terrified by the possibility of new life. Meanwhile, his family, with all their problems and neuroses, celebrated the simple, human joy of that very possibility.
"It could portal with just its mind!" Rick shrieked from the corner, now consulting a strange device. "It could demand universal basic income based on its own existence! It could make Jerry look competent!"
"Now that's impossible!" Jerry yelled, offended.
Kaelen decided he'd enjoyed enough of the spectacle. He got up and walked over to Rick.
"Relax, old man," he said, using the term for the first time. "It's just a possibility. And if it happens, I'll be here to make sure they inherit their mother's good looks and my impeccable taste in music, not your functional alcoholism."
Rick glared at him, but for an instant, Kaelen saw something else in his eyes: a flicker of genuine fear. The fear not of a monster, but of family. Of connection. Of something he couldn't control with science.
Kaelen returned to Padmé's side and wrapped his metal arm around her. She leaned into him, feeling more at home than she ever would have imagined in this strange world. They had survived wars, assassins, and tyrants. And now, they had survived a Smith-style family gathering. And somehow, it felt like the greatest accomplishment of all.