Tiffany Haddish Presents: Kids Have Amnesty…SAY…What!?
You Might Be a Grown-Up If…Kids School Jeff Foxworthy on Real Education
Inspired by the fearless humor of Tiffany Haddish. For more on Tiffany, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.
Special guest: Jeff Foxworthy—see more at jefffoxworthy.com.
Amnesty Day—No Time-Outs, No Filters, No Mercy
Today, the kids are in charge of the punchlines, and Jeff Foxworthy better take notes. Because when it comes to surviving school, nobody knows more than the ones who have to ask permission to use the bathroom.
You Might Be a Grown-Up If…
…you think "show and tell" is oversharing at the office.
…you call a school lunch "balanced" because it has both a carb and a regret.
…you think "pop quiz" is a new flavor of soda.
…you need a coffee before you can help with math homework, and then another one after.
…you think "recess" is a fancy word for "break room."
…you say "back in my day" and everyone under twelve immediately tunes out.
…you think "spelling bee" is a new reality show on Netflix.
…you believe "new math" is a government conspiracy.
…you say "use your inside voice" but yell at the TV during football.
…you think "remote learning" is about finding the TV remote.
Kids Schooling Jeff (and Everyone Else):
On Homework:
"If you think homework is hard, try explaining to your parents why you need a glue stick at 9pm. That's advanced negotiation."
On Group Projects:
"Group projects are where one kid does all the work, one kid eats glue, and everyone gets the same grade. Welcome to real life, grown-ups."
On Cafeteria Cuisine:
"If you've ever called a mystery meat nugget 'chicken,' you might be a grown-up. If you've ever eaten it without asking questions, you're definitely a grown-up."
On School Fundraisers:
"If you've ever bought $40 worth of cookie dough just so your kid can win a plastic yo-yo, you might be a grown-up. If you ate all the cookie dough yourself, congratulations—you're a parent."
On School Pictures:
"If you think 'picture day' means everyone will look cute, you might be a grown-up. If you know it means cowlicks, forced smiles, and at least one kid with spaghetti on their shirt, you're definitely a parent."
On "Educational" TV:
"If you think watching a documentary counts as homework, you might be a grown-up. If you fall asleep halfway through, you're just honest."
On Math:
"If you have to Google 'how to do long division' before helping with homework, you might be a grown-up. If you still get it wrong, welcome to the club."
The Ultimate Verdict
"Look, Jeff, we love your jokes—but if you want to know what school's really like, come spend a day in our shoes. Just don't forget your juice box and your emotional support fidget spinner."
Special thanks to Tiffany Haddish for keeping it real, and to Jeff Foxworthy for teaching us you might be a redneck—but you'll never out-school a kid with a sharpie and a dream. For more on Jeff, visit jefffoxworthy.com.