The Sound of fire came first.
"There's still two people inside!" A voice shouted in the distance.
The flames, it roared like a beast—crackling, spitting, tearing through wood, bone, and breath. Somewhere, a girl was crying. Somewhere else, someone was screaming.
And then, he came stumbling through the blaze.
A man, shirt scorched black and hair frizzed with soot, staggered down the hallway with the girl in his arms. The fire kicked at his heels, reaching, laughing.
The man tumbled onto the floor, the girl collapsed right below him. Footsteps emerged among the smoke.
And then-
Black.
He woke up with gravel in his teeth.
Face-down on a sunbaked road, shirtless, shoeless, and somehow more confused than usual. The world spun slowly above him, as if turning itself over in disbelief.
He could the hear the sound of approaching footsteps.
Above him stood an massive humanoid ape with dreadlocks and a shirt that read "RIPE AS." His eyes were half-closed, half-baked, and entirely unhelpful.
"Hehe, Oi, Dun mate, What's going on?"
Dun blinked.
"Nnngh… fuck up, you weed smoking piece of shit" he mumbled into the gravel.
"Hehe, aww fuck, good morning to you too sleepy head" the ape says with a smile.
Dun rolled onto his back, eyes squinting against the sky. It was too blue. Too loud. Too present. His head throbbed like it had been kicked by a unicorn with daddy issues.
He was in the middle of the road. There were birds chirping in the tree. Something smelled like lemon.
And he was… missing something.
"Oi, Squash…"
"Yeah mate?"
"… where the fuck are my pants?"
He was sitting there, in the middle of the road, completely bottomless. Exposed to the world.
Squash lets out a small chuckle.
"Oh yeah, they're stuck at the uhh… at the… uhh… Oh! They're just stuck at that tree over there mate" Squash pointed at the direction while scratching his hairy stomach.
"At the what?" Dun turned his head, and sure enough, his boxer shorts were flapping from a branch like some sort of godforsaken surrender flag.
He squinted at them.
"Aww Jesus Christ… Fuck!" Dun muttered. "The fuck happened last night? Nnngh my head" while slowly rubbing his temple.
"Hehe, It was fuckin sick mate. First… we uhh… uhhh… Oh! First we drove down to the police station and then we… hehe… and then we just started throwing like… poo at them because they gave you that speeding ticket"
Dun looked at him.
"What."
"Hehe, and then we went down to Chuck's house to have a stone, but we forgot to bring a lighter with us so you ended having to use your fire power thingy again… but uhh something fuckin happened because Chuck's house suddenly got caught on fire… oh yeah Chuck is still on fire by the way, look"
He gestured casually toward the side of the road.
There, a humanoid lemon rolled in circles across a patch of dry grass. He was on fire. His arms flailed. His eyes twitched. His voice sounded like it'd been gargling gravel.
"… Uh huh, Still on fire, I think" Squash added helpfully.
Chuck rolled once more, exstinguished himself with a final flop, then gave a thumbs— up. Half of it melted.
"Yup," Dun said. "Checks out."
He sat up slowly. Gravel stuck to his back like guilt. The sun was too bright, and his brain was made of fog and static. There was something heavy in the pit of his chest… but he couldn't remember what.
"Oh yeah, and then you got into a fight with this tomato fella…" Squash sniffs.
"… A what?"
"Yeah, you got into this argument with this tomato fella… Tom.. I think that's his name?"
Dun blinked.
"Tom?"
"Hehe, yeah mate."
"That fuckin tomato piece of shit?"
"Hehehe, yeah, that's him mate"
Dun rubbed his temple.
"Aww for fuck sakes, what the fuck did me and that cunt do this time?"
"I don't know the actual details but I think you guys got into a fight, like for some reason, you two just started having a scrap with each other in the middle of the street"
"Oh yeah? Did you see who won?"
"Hehe, well judging by your current situation mate… it's not too hard to figure out that outcome"
Dun took a heavy breath.
"Well whatever, mark my words, the next time I see that deformed looking excuse for a fruit, it's hand on sight" Dun declared.
"Fuckin oath Dun mate, you fuckin stoner"
Dun looked back at him with glorious glee.
"You got that right Squash Mate…. So now…"
Dun looked around, he looked back at Squash.
"Where are my pants again?"