The antechamber, which had felt like an opulent cage, was suddenly transformed into the waiting room for their own execution. Beldia's presence changed everything. He wasn't a monster to be fought; he was a political entity, a surprise witness whose testimony carried the chilling weight of legitimacy. He was the Demon King's General, yes, but here, in this room, he was also Lord Veridian's star witness.
Kazuma's mind, which had been scrambling for an exit strategy, simply blue-screened. This was a checkmate he hadn't even seen coming. The game wasn't just rigged; the opponent had flipped the board, set it on fire, and was now using the rulebook to fan the flames.
"This is a mockery!" Aqua shrieked, her voice echoing in the suddenly silent room. "Allowing a minion of the Demon King to testify in a royal court? It's sacrilege! The very walls should be crumbling in protest!" The marbled walls remained stubbornly intact.
Deadpool, however, just stared at the Dullahan, a slow, predatory grin spreading across his masked face. He wasn't scared. He wasn't even surprised. He looked… delighted.
"Well, well, well," he drawled, breaking the tense silence. "Look who it is. If it isn't Mr. Head-On-A-Swivel. Didn't we have a deal? You leave us alone, we don't have to listen to your boring evil monologues. You broke our verbal contract. I'm going to have to speak to my lawyers. Which is me. And they say you're in big trouble."
"Your pathetic deals mean nothing here, anomaly," Beldia said, his voice a low, triumphant rumble. "Here, I am not a monster to be mocked. I am a victim. A victim of your treasonous chaos."
Lord Veridian smirked, stepping forward to retake control of the situation. "You see? The creature itself corroborates my claim. These are not heroes. They are dangerous anarchists. Their actions serve only the interest of chaos, which makes them de facto agents of the Demon King." He gestured to the door. "The court is ready to see you now."
The trial, as it turned out, was less of a legal proceeding and more of a public shaming. They were marched into a grand hall filled with the highest echelons of the kingdom's nobility. At the front, on a raised dais, sat a panel of three judges, the chief of whom was a wizened old man named Duke Salis, whose expression suggested he had just swallowed a lemon whole.
Lord Veridian presented his case first, detailing the "unprovoked and barbaric" destruction of his summer villa. He painted a picture of Deadpool as a maniacal terrorist who flew into a homicidal rage over a minor laundry mishap.
The Duke turned his sour face to the party. "Do you have a response to this charge?"
Before Kazuma could offer to pay for the damages, apologize, and perhaps gift-wrap Deadpool for the gallows, a voice rang out.
"I'll be handling the defense, Your Honor," Deadpool announced, stepping forward with the confidence of a seasoned attorney. He strode into the middle of the hall, turned to face his party, and gave them a reassuring thumbs-up. "Don't worry, guys. I've seen every episode of Law & Order. And Night Court. We got this."
Kazuma felt a tear roll down his cheek. They were doomed.
"First of all," Deadpool began, addressing the judges, "we stipulate that the villa in question did, in fact, undergo a rapid, explosive-assisted deconstruction. No argument there. But the prosecution's assertion of the motive is fundamentally flawed. He calls it a 'minor laundry mishap.' I call it the desecration of a priceless, one-of-a-kind artifact. There's a big difference. One is a misdemeanor; the other is a crime against history and good taste."
Duke Salis stared at him. "Are you suggesting the destruction of a nobleman's estate was justified because of a… sock?"
"An argyle sock, Your Honor. The pattern is crucial to establishing its value," Deadpool clarified. "Objection! Relevance!" he then shouted, pointing at himself.
The entire courtroom was silent. Duke Salis looked at the other judges, who looked just as confused. "You are objecting… to your own statement?"
"Damn right, I am!" Deadpool declared. "I'm trying to establish a pattern of unstable behavior for my client, me, which could lead to an insanity plea. I'm playing the long game here."
The Duke rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking like he was seconds away from ordering a summary execution just to make it all stop. "Let us move on to the charge of treason. Lord Beldia, your testimony."
Beldia stepped forward, radiating an aura of cold, wronged dignity. He masterfully spun the tale, omitting any mention of head-theft or ransom demands. He described a peaceful day in his castle, which he referred to as a "remote border fortress", being shattered by an unprovoked blast of immense magical power. He then detailed his attempt to peacefully parley with the town of Axel, only to be met by a group of lunatics who mocked him, resisted his authority, and displayed powers that defied the laws of nature, specifically pointing at Deadpool's immunity to his death curse.
"Their actions were not those of heroes fighting for the kingdom," Beldia concluded, his voice ringing with conviction. "They were the actions of a rival faction. A chaotic third party whose goal is to destabilize this entire continent for their own gain. They are enemies of my master, yes, but they are enemies of this kingdom as well. They are agents of nothing but anarchy."
The narrative was brilliant. It painted them not as heroes, but as rogue elements too dangerous to be allowed to exist. The nobles in the hall murmured their agreement. It made a twisted kind of sense.
"I see," Duke Salis said, a grim look on his face. "A compelling, if unorthodox, testimony. Do you," he looked at Deadpool, "have a cross-examination?"
"Do I ever!" Deadpool rubbed his hands together. "Mr. Beldia, could you please state your official title for the court?"
"I am Beldia, a General in the army of the Demon King," he answered stiffly.
"A General. Got it. And as a General, you're pretty tough, right? Top of the food chain?"
"I am among the most powerful of my master's servants," Beldia said with pride.
"Right, right. Super tough. So tough, in fact, that you came to a town full of rookie adventurers to complain about a loud noise, got your head stolen by a guy in red pajamas, and then ran away because you were threatened with a bad party trick and a poetry slam. Is that an accurate summary of your toughness?"
Beldia's composure cracked. A flash of crimson fury lit his eyes. "That is a slanderous fabrication!"
"Is it?" Deadpool leaned forward. "Isn't it true that you fled the scene only after I, the defendant, took possession of your cranium and used it as a hand puppet?"
"Objection!" Lord Veridian shouted. "The witness is being badgered!"
"Sustained," the Duke sighed.
"Fine," Deadpool said. "Let's talk about your so-called 'castle.' Was this castle, in fact, filled with a legion of undead soldiers who were, presumably, not there on a sightseeing tour?"
"They were a defensive garrison!" Beldia retorted.
"A defensive garrison that you, a Demon King's General, brought into this kingdom's territory. Making you an invading hostile force," Deadpool shot back. "So, when my associate, the adorable little powder keg over there, blew up your illegal zombie timeshare, she wasn't committing an act of treason. She was performing a public service! Pest control! For which, I might add, we have not been properly compensated!"
The logic was so insane, so backward, yet so undeniably sound that a confused murmur rippled through the courtroom. They had destroyed an enemy outpost.
Beldia was momentarily flustered, seeing his carefully crafted narrative beginning to unravel.
Deadpool pressed his advantage. "And isn't it also true that your entire complaint, your entire reason for showing up and menacing that town, was because my friend's daily explosion practice was… and I quote… 'disturbing your rest'?" He turned to the judges. "Your Honors, this isn't a case of treason. This is a noise complaint that got way out of hand! This man is not a victim of a rival faction; he's a cranky neighbor whose nap was interrupted! Case closed!"
Duke Salis stared, his sour expression unreadable. He had to admit, the red-suited madman was poking holes in the story. The charge of treason was starting to look shaky. The property damage, however…
"Be that as it may," the Duke said, his voice firm. "You have admitted to the wanton destruction of Lord Veridian's property. And while your… methods… in dealing with the Dullahan were effective, they were unsanctioned and chaotic. This court finds your party to be a public menace. The charge of treason is dismissed due to a lack of credible evidence from a compromised witness," he said, shooting a dirty look at Beldia, "but on the charge of destruction of state property and gross public endangerment, I am prepared to..."
"Your Honor."
The voice was not loud, but it cut through the hall with an authority that silenced everyone. It came not from the gallery, not from the prosecution, but from the side of the dais itself.
A figure stepped out from the shadows near the throne room entrance. It was one of the Royal Knights, but not just any knight. It was the captain, the man with the jawline, the one who had led their escort. His name was Sir Kaelan, a man renowned throughout the kingdom for his unflinching honesty and valor.
He stepped forward, his gleaming armor making no sound on the marble floor. He looked at Duke Salis, his expression unreadable.
"Your Honor," Sir Kaelan repeated, his voice calm and clear. "I must testify. I believe a grave error is about to be made."