I took my stance. I could feel the Qi within me pulsing. I had the Random Transmission Robe. I had the Dragon Butt Punch Technique. I had the Dao of Strangeness.
This was going to be a fight no one would ever forget. I, Chen Ming, the strange jade-faced cultivator, would face the 'Shadowless Sword'. And I would defeat him in the most absurd way I could imagine. Get ready, Xiao Feng. You're about to meet the true Dao of Strangeness!
The referee raised his hand high. The entire Sky Battle Arena was silent, enveloped in a tense anticipation. Even the sound of breathing was barely audible among the thousands of spectators filling every corner of the stands. All eyes were on the stage, where Xiao Feng and I stood facing each other. I could feel the oppressive aura from Xiao Feng, he was like a statue made of ice and steel, unshakeable, flawless, no emotion emanating from his perfect face. He was the definition of terrifying perfection.
"Begin!" shouted the referee, his hand sweeping down, breaking the tense silence.
Instantly, Xiao Feng moved. Not running or jumping, but gliding forward with incredible speed, almost silently, as if he were a shadow himself. The sword in his hand glowed with a cold silver light, like lightning trapped in steel, radiating an aura of sharpness that could cut through the air. That was 'Shadow Step', a signature technique of the Immortal Sword Sect known for its terrifying speed and agility, leaving opponents no time to react.
So fast! I barely even saw him move! This isn't ordinary human speed! This is the speed of a sword god!
His sword shot towards me, not with a brutal, destructive slash, but with a precise thrust targeting a vital point in my chest. It was a perfect attack, flawless, emotionless, pure technique honed thousands of times. I felt a cold sensation piercing my chest, not from his sword, but from the chilling aura of his calm and merciless killing intent.
Damn it! He's too fast and too precise! I can't dodge him with my usual Parkour moves! This isn't about being funny anymore, this is about life and death!
I didn't have time to think. My instincts screamed. I activated my Random Transmission Robe.
Whoosh!
In an instant, my body vanished from where I stood, as if I were a mirage swallowed by the wind. Xiao Feng's sword pierced the empty air, exactly where I had been a fraction of a second before, hitting nothing.
The crowd gasped. A wave of whispers and murmurs spread like wildfire among them. Even the elders on the floating platforms leaned forward slightly, their eyes wide, their faces showing rare expressions of surprise. They couldn't comprehend what kind of technique this was.
I reappeared... three meters beside Xiao Feng, right next to him, in a very awkward pose like someone who had just slipped and almost fallen. My hands were raised as if trying to grab something that wasn't there, my legs slightly bent in a strange position, and my 'jade-faced' countenance showed a genuine look of shock. I can't believe this worked! I appeared here?! Right next to him?! This is truly random! And very, very awkward! I must look like an idiot who just learned to walk!
[Detection: User successfully dodges a deadly attack with unpredictable teleportation and a very awkward pose. Collecting Strangeness Points from absurd surprise...]
[+25 Strangeness Points.]
My Strangeness Points soared to 396. Excellent! Random teleportation really generates a lot of points! This is the essence of my Dao of Strangeness!
Xiao Feng, the 'Shadowless Sword', finally showed a reaction. His ice-cold eyes widened slightly, almost imperceptibly, like tiny cracks on the surface of a frozen lake. It was a very small reaction, almost invisible to the naked eye, but to me, it was a huge victory. He showed no anger or frustration, just a hint of... confusion. A faint frown appeared between his brows, as if he was trying to solve a nonsensical riddle.
He immediately spun around, his sword flashing again, targeting my neck. His movements were still perfect and flawless, a deadly dance of death.
Whoosh!
I activated the Random Transmission Robe again. I disappeared and reappeared... behind Xiao Feng, but this time, I landed a little more gracefully, though still like someone who had just learned to ballet dance.
The crowd began to stir, whispers turning into loud murmurs. They couldn't understand what was happening. What kind of technique was this? Did he have a teleportation artifact? But why were his movements so strange?
"What... what is that?!" shouted a disciple from another faction, his voice filled with disbelief. "He's teleporting randomly?! That's impossible! He's just moving too fast!"
Wang Lei, from the Sky Sword Sect, looked at me with a very complicated expression. He was no longer cynical, but filled with deep curiosity, mixed with a hint of... fear. He probably thought I was a demon in disguise or some strange creature from another dimension.
I continued to use the Random Transmission Robe. Every time Xiao Feng attacked, I would disappear and reappear in a random spot. Sometimes in front of him, sometimes behind him, sometimes beside him, sometimes even almost off the stage, making the referee almost shout in worry that I would break the rules. Each time I appeared in a different pose – a frozen pose like a newly animated statue, a strange ballet dancing pose with one leg raised, a half-asleep pose with half-closed eyes, or even a pose of someone searching for something in their pocket – and each time, it slightly unsettled Xiao Feng. I could see the muscles in his jaw clench slightly, a barely visible sign of frustration.
Xiao Feng showed no clear emotion, but I could sense that he was starting to get frustrated. He couldn't track me. His perfect sword always pierced empty air. He began to speed up his attacks, trying to cover the entire stage with his sword slashes, creating a deadly sword storm, but I always slipped away, appearing in the most unexpected places, as if I were a dancing ghost.
This is it! He's starting to be affected! Even he can't fight absurdity! His perfection is his weakness!
After several minutes that felt like an eternity, Xiao Feng stopped his attack. He stood still in the middle of the stage, his sword pointing to the ground, his eyes fixed on me with a blank stare, as if trying to solve the most complex riddle in the universe.
"You... what kind of technique is that?" he asked, his voice flat, emotionless, but I could feel a hint of deep confusion within it, like ripples on the surface of calm water.
I smiled broadly, a smile that surely looked very absurd on my 'jade-faced' countenance. "Oh, that's the 'Chewing Gum Teleportation Step'!" I said proudly, shrugging. "Very effective for confusing enemies until their brains smoke! This is the Dao of Strangeness!"
[Detection: User successfully confuses an unperturbed opponent. Collecting Strangeness Points from very profound confusion...]
[+50 Strangeness Points.]
My Strangeness Points soared to 446. Wow! Big points again! This is much easier than fighting a dragon! Xiao Feng, thank you for the points!
Xiao Feng looked at me, then let out a barely audible sigh. He raised his sword again. This time, his aura changed. He no longer attacked blindly. His Qi began to swirl around his sword, forming a sharp, deadly vortex of energy, as if he was about to unleash his final attack.
"I don't care what technique that is," Xiao Feng said, his voice now slightly deeper, a cold tone of determination. "But I will defeat you with the true power of the sword. Feel... 'Thousand Shadow Swords'!"
Instantly, Xiao Feng lunged forward. Thousands of sword shadows appeared around him, dancing in the air, forming a deadly illusion. Each shadow carried a cold killing intent, targeting every inch of my body, as if I were an unavoidable target. This was a much more complex and dangerous sword technique than before, a sword storm that could destroy anything in its path.
Damn it! I can't dodge all of this! This is too much! I have to counterattack! It's time to use my last ace in the hole!
I closed my eyes, focusing all the Qi I had into my fist. I no longer had the Random Transmission Robe. I had to rely on the 'Dragon Butt Punch' and my absurd luck.
I felt my Half-Dragon Meridians pulsing, pumping Qi with strange power, power derived from anomaly. I activated the 'Dragon Butt Punch'.
Here it comes, Xiao Feng! I'm going to give you a surprise you'll never forget! A punch that will shatter your pride!
I waited. The sword shadows approached, piercing from all directions, creating a deadly storm. When Xiao Feng was at the perfect distance, I lunged forward with surprising speed, not with the graceful movements of a cultivator, but with a very... unexpected and embarrassing movement. I jumped, spun in the air in a strange position, and launched my fist towards... Xiao Feng's backside.
BOOM!
A strange wave of energy, not pure Qi, but a focused explosion of chaos, shot from my fist, hitting precisely on target. It was a very embarrassing punch, but very effective.
Xiao Feng, the 'Shadowless Sword', who was always calm and emotionless, gasped. His sword shadows dispersed instantly, disappearing like smoke. His cold face now turned crimson, not from anger, but from... immense shame. He felt a strange pain, but more than that, a burning shame pierced his soul, shattering the composure he had always maintained. He stumbled, almost losing his balance, his legs wobbling.
I gave him no chance. I repeated my attack, hitting him again in the same spot, with strange speed.
BOOM! BOOM!
Xiao Feng stumbled backward, his face growing redder, his eyes showing an inexplicable expression: a mixture of anger, shame, and boundless confusion. He tried to counterattack, but his movements were no longer perfect. His sword trembled in his hand. The punches didn't physically hurt him, but they shattered his pride, crumbling the foundation of perfection he had built his entire life.
Finally, with a crimson face, Xiao Feng let out a long sigh. He dropped his sword, which now looked dull and had lost its luster. He raised his hand, a clear sign of surrender.
"I... I surrender," he whispered, his voice almost inaudible, filled with deep shame. "I... I can't fight him. That... that wasn't a fight."
The entire arena fell silent. Then, a roar of laughter and whispers erupted, much louder than before. Some people were still surprised, but most were laughing hysterically. The referee looked at Xiao Feng, who was now bowing his head in shame, then at me, standing proudly, then let out a long sigh, as if he himself couldn't believe what had just happened.
"Xiao Feng... surrenders! The winner... Chen Ming!" shouted the referee, his voice trembling slightly, as if he himself couldn't believe what had just happened.
I smiled proudly. Success! I defeated the Shadowless Sword! With the Dao of Strangeness!
[Detection: User successfully defeats a very powerful opponent with a very embarrassing and unorthodox method. Collecting Strangeness Points from an embarrassing victory...]
[+100 Strangeness Points!] Congratulations! User has reached Mid-Level Mortal Body Stage!]
My Strangeness Points soared to 546. And I had reached Mid-Level Mortal Body Stage! This was a double victory!
I bowed towards Xiao Feng, who was still red and looking down, then to the crowd, who were still laughing. "Thank you for the fight, Sir Xiao Feng! I hope you find a good balm for... that part!"
Xiao Feng looked at me with eyes full of defeat and shame. He immediately turned and rushed off the stage, disappearing from view, as if he wanted to vanish from the face of the earth.
Long'er, in the participant area, looked at me, then shook her head. But this time, the smile on her lips was very wide, and her eyes radiated undeniable pride. Li Hua, on the other hand, looked like he had fainted on the spot, his face pale. Wang Lei looked at me with wide eyes, his face pale, and he looked like he had just seen the most absurd ghost.
I had made history in the Bright Sky City Cultivation Tournament. And this was just the beginning.