The sun was already high when we finished getting dressed. My face still felt hot, and my hands were still trembling. Toge was next to me, his lashes lowered, his face peaceful, calm. In silence, once we were dressed, our hands intertwined again. He held mine without even opening his eyes, a small smile spreading across his lips.
There was no need to say anything. We had said it all.
When we walked out of that place—now carrying the scent of our union—hidden among the hills, surrounded by moss and warm stones, we did so hand in hand. Our steps were slow, but full. As if every glance, every small gesture between us held a deeper meaning in that moment.
We reached the institute shortly after. The others spotted us from afar. Panda was the first to notice, and he understood immediately.
"Oooh, Toge has the face of someone who slept little but very well!" he laughed, winking.
Maki elbowed him while Yuta tried to hide an embarrassed smile. I blushed and lowered my gaze, biting my lower lip with a shy grin. In response, Toge raised our interlocked hands in front of everyone. As if to say: "Yes, it's real."
We went inside, tired and hungry. Toge would brush my arm now and then, then shift to my waist.
He wrote on his phone while I chatted with the others:
"I want to dream I'm kissing you again…"
I smiled and replied:
"Maybe it wasn't a dream."
Shortly after, as I was recounting what had happened during the mission, Toge's stepsister, Saya, intercepted me in the hallway with a radiant smile.
"Rebecca! I was looking for you! You're not skipping the welcoming ritual, are you? I promised you the tea ceremony yesterday. Today's the day!"
"Oh, I thought we'd forgotten about it," I said, amused.
She hooked her arm in mine, pulling me gently away from Toge.
Saya looked at him, then at me, letting out a mischievous laugh.
"Anyway, you two are gorgeous together. Coming from a sister, that counts double!"
Before turning the corner, I looked back, still hand-in-hand with Saya. I searched for Toge's eyes. I found them.
"You could've told me earlier that you had such a nosy sister!" I shouted with a smile.
--- Tea Room, Late Afternoon ---
Saya had prepared everything impeccably. Hand-painted ceramic cups, the scent of dried flowers and sweet incense, cushions arranged in a circle, rice cakes and azuki bean jam.
A warm, ancient, soothing atmosphere.
"Alright! Official welcoming ritual. Everyone has to say something nice about Rebecca and… one funny thing they noticed about her."
Toge raised his notebook first:
"She arrived like lightning. And stayed like the morning sun. She shines and warms."
"Ugh… you're a hidden poet!" Maki exclaimed as I blushed to my ears and hit him lightly with a rolled-up newspaper.
"Something funny…" Yuta said thoughtfully. "Every time she thinks about Toge, she touches her hair."
Everyone laughed. Even I did—though I covered my face with my hands.
Toge wrote another phrase, this time just for me:
"I haven't looked at the world the same way since I saw you walking into mine."
I took his hand under the table. Firmly, silently, happily.
Saya, as the sky filled with stars above the courtyard, concluded the ceremony with a phrase that felt pulled from another era:
"True welcoming isn't about making someone feel part of a place. It's making them feel part of someone."
Everyone fell silent for a moment.
She continued pouring the tea, explaining each step of the ritual.
"It's an important ceremony," she said with a half-smile directed at me. "It marks official inclusion in our inner circle. Only those considered part of our… family may take part."
I looked at her, stunned and touched. She had used that word. Family.
That's when Panda, sitting cross-legged near Toge, leaned toward Saya and whispered in a tone far too loud to be discreet:
"Honestly, Rebe has fit in so well that every time there's sushi… she's the last to leave the table!"
Muted laughter rose from the others. Saya smiled with her eyes, and Toge tilted his head slightly.
I blushed, pouting.
"Not true! You all eat way too slowly!"
Panda nodded solemnly.
"Sure, sure… let's say you've been possessed by a cursed spirit called Spicy Tuna."
"Hey! Toge likes it too!" I immediately replied, looking for backup.
Toge gave a thumbs-up, then wrote in his notes app:
"Spicy tuna = soul bond."
The ceremony continued in a much more relaxed tone. I knew I had become part of something important. A group that, maybe… truly cared about me.
And there I was, in the middle of it all, glancing at Toge.
He was looking at me.
--- Hand in hand, heart in turmoil… ---
Night had softly fallen over Kyoto. After a long day, the institute's corridor was wrapped in a muffled silence. I was about to crawl under the covers when I heard two soft, almost shy knocks on the door.
I opened it. Toge stood there, his usual gentle and reserved gaze, phone in hand.
"Can I?" he wrote, glancing up at me, hesitant. His eyes were tired but alight with an intensity that said more than words ever could.
I smiled, opening the door wider.
"Of course," I said. "If you want… you can sleep here."
We slipped under the covers without hesitation, both exhausted, both confused, yet bound by a connection that made us breathe in sync. Our hands instinctively reached for each other. I laced my fingers with his, and we fell asleep immediately, our hearts too full to speak.
The next morning, I opened my eyes. The morning light filtered through the light curtains. Toge was already awake, showered and dressed, watching me in silence from the edge of the bed. His face was touched with slight melancholy, his eyes dull, his gaze lowered. He wasn't typing. He was just… watching.
"Toge?" I whispered, still groggy. He looked toward the window for a moment. The sky was gray and heavy, but bright. He pulled out his phone and wrote:
"Sorry. I really am. I shouldn't have slept here. I shouldn't have let myself… with you."
I sat up almost instantly. My voice shook, my heart thundering.
"Why are you saying this now? What's going on?"
He turned to me with a look full of tenderness—but also resignation. Slowly, he typed:
"There are curses that feed on my voice, my words. My energy. But they won't come for me. They'll come for those closest to me. They'll follow you. They'll want to hurt you."
My heart was about to explode. My voice caught in my throat.
"I know… or at least I suspected. But I… I can fight. I can handle it. I don't care if it's hard—I want to be with you. I want to stay close to you."
He shook his head. Then typed:
"I can't be happy if you're in danger because of me. You're the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me, and I have to protect you. I know you'll become more vulnerable—because of me. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner… I'm sorry for everything. But I wasn't ready. I didn't think I'd ever love someone this much."
A heavy silence filled the room. I got up, met his eyes.
"Toge, I'm willing to fight for you. With you. I won't run just because something scares me or might hurt me."
He grabbed my hand tightly. His eyes burned. He typed fast, almost angrily:
"I don't want to lose you."
"Then don't walk away from me."
He stood, slowly. Brushed my cheek with his thumb, tenderly. Then, he wrote his last words, the handwriting trembling:
"I love you. But to really love you… I have to protect you. Even from me."
And he left, closing the door behind him.
Leaving me alone.
With the sheets still warm.
And a heart colder than before.