To my beloved readers, if someone is reading this 🥲
This is not a chapter update… this is a cry for help.
My 13-year-old phone the ancient beast that has braved cracked screens, 1% battery battles, and charging cables held together by sheer hope has officially succumbed to the cursed illness known as ghosttouch.
It now scrolls, taps, types, and opens things on its own like it's haunted by the spirit of an overcaffeinated toddler. Earlier today, it somehow typed "I LUV TOAST" into my story draft and then sent a blank message to my ex. Twice.
Every time I try to write, it's a fight scene.
I'm not typing—I'm dueling.
Me: "Let me fix this typo."
Phone: opens YouTube, Google Maps, TikTok, and the calculator at once
Why the calculator?? Am I trying to solve my emotional damage with math?
3hours.That's how long it took to write this message, thanks to the ghostly chaos of my possessed device.
And before you ask—no, I can't buy a new one. I'm broke. Like "addswatertoshampootomakeitlast" kind of broke. Like "savesmoneybypretendingI'monadiet" broke.
Where is my deranged, hot, rich, emotionally unavailable CEO who's supposed to appear out of nowhere, throw me into a limo, say
"Youbelongtomenow," and then buy me a new phone with 128GB and a working touchscreen? I'm right here. Willing. Kidnap me. Throw me over your shoulder. I'll scream dramatically but I won'tresist.
At this point, I am ready to get absolutely DESTROYED by a psychotic CEO.
Take my soul, my sanity, my ability to walk straight for a week I don't care.
Just fix my screen so I can write in peace.
My phone tried to delete this message four times. It attempted to call "Mom's Dentist" mid-sentence. It sent a random emoji to someone I haven't talked to since 2018. I am LITERALLY being sabotaged by haunted technology😭😭😭
If my next chapter comes late, it's not because I've given up.
It's because I'm fighting evil spirits with broken glass and desperation.
So please, send prayers. Send rich men. Send duct tape.
And if you're a hot CEO reading this babe, I'm yours. My schedule's wide open, just like my trust issues.
Love and 4% battery,
Your emotionally unstable author
👻📱😩🩹💔