So anyway—
I just got done not destroying the Akademiya (for now), Nilou was smiling, and I might've spiritually proposed to a dance stage. You know, the usual Thursday.
And then—
Paimon tilted her head and muttered, "So uh... what's the Sabzeruz Festival, anyway?"
...Oh. Oh no.
I slowly turned my head to her.
Deadpan mode: activated.
"Hey. Floating food."
Paimon blinked. "Huh?"
"Aren't you listening?" I asked, my tone flatter than Dehya's patience. "Or are you just... an idiot?"
Paimon gasped dramatically and puffed up like an angry balloon. "RUDE! Paimon is not an idiot!"
I stared. "You sure? Because the brain cell we share is currently on vacation."
"EXCUSE ME?!" she screeched.
In my mind: Huh. She's fine with 'floating food' now? I must've broken her. Like, totally.
Achievement unlocked: Mentally fried the fairy.
Nilou's voice cut through the rising chaos like a gentle breeze in a storm.
"Shigeru, don't be rude."
Oh.
OH.
That voice. That tone. That tiny scolding.
I grinned.
It was the kind of grin reserved for people hearing wedding bells or the sound of Mora falling from the sky.
I turned to say something very, very stupid—
"WELL, if it isn't my beautiful, intelligent—"
SMACK!
Lumine bonked me right on the head like she was swatting a particularly dumb bug.
"Stop simping so much," she said, her glare strong enough to make a ruin guard retreat.
I rubbed my head. "Chill! Chill! No need to kill your dear partner. Jeez."
Lumine: Still glaring
Paimon: Still pouting.
Me: Internally bleeding from pride.
Then Nilou, in her soft, sunshine voice, launched into a full-on lore dump like the true princess of storytelling she was.
"The Sabzeruz Festival is a special time in Sumeru," she began. "It commemorates the birth of Lesser Lord Kusanali. The name comes from the Goddess of Flowers—she originally created the festival to celebrate the birthday of her best friend, Greater Lord Rukkhadevata."
She glanced up, her expression nostalgic. "After her passing... it became a celebration of the Lesser Lord's birthday, the day the sages first found her."
Pause.
Even Paimon stopped floating for a second, just hovering like a popcorn kernel about to pop.
"Wow..." Lumine said.
I nodded slowly.
"...Okay but when do we eat?"
Lumine side-eyed me.
Paimon looked horrified. "Shigeru! It's about history and culture!"
"Yeah yeah," I shrugged. "And festivals are about food and dancing. I'm multitasking the appreciation."
Nilou giggled. "There are food stalls, yes. But also dancing, music, storytelling... It's one of the most beautiful times in Sumeru."
Paimon twirled mid-air and clapped. "Ooh! Paimon wants to see the dances!"
"I want to see Nilou's dance," I said way too fast.
Everyone stared at me.
"What?" I said. "It's culturally enriching."
Paimon looked at me, deeply unimpressed. "You're so down bad it's tragic."
"I'm not down bad," I said. "I'm just... sideways passionate."
Nilou smiled softly and clasped her hands. "So, Shigeru, Lumine, Paimon... what do you think? Interested in the Sabzeruz Festival? Will you two be coming?"
I inhaled.
I opened my mouth.
I was about to say something noble and poetic like:
"I'd sell my left kidney just to see you dance again."
—but before my dramatic simping could spill out, Lumine stabbed me with her glare again and beat me to it:
"We'll come. This simp will kill just to witness it anyway, so before he does something stupid, we'll just agree immediately."
She. Did. Not. Even. Blink.
Paimon floated over and whispered to Lumine, "Good save. Paimon saw him eyeing the rooftop like he was planning to serenade from it."
Nilou smiled gently, like that was the most natural thing in the world. "Wonderful. Then it's a promise."
She turned to Dunyarzad and said, "Let me show you which stage decorations we've picked out so far."
And to us? She added, "If you three aren't interested in props and flowers, feel free to explore. The Grand Bazaar is especially lively during the Sabzeruz Festival. Everyone here loves Lesser Lord Kusanali."
Me, watching her walk away: I too... love everything that makes her smile...
I took a step forward.
Lumine grabbed my ear.
"NOPE."
"Ack! Owowowow—Lumine, please!"
She yanked harder. "We're going that way. Before you start quoting love poems at flower arrangements again."
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND," I wailed as she dragged me. "MY HEART IS A STAGE AND SHE DANCES IN IT."
"Exactly why we're leaving."
Paimon floated behind us, casually munching on some fruit she definitely didn't pay for.
"I give him five minutes before he tries to marry a lamp post."
"I give me three," I said proudly.
Lumine: still dragging.
Paimon: now arguing with a stall owner about mangoes.
Nilou: still smiling in the distance.
Me: probably developing ear damage and romantic brain damage at the same time.
So.
After getting spiritually rejected by the goddess of my dreams (a.k.a. Nilou, literal sunshine incarnate), I found myself outside again. Reality had kicked me in the shins, but I was coping. Coping by pretending I didn't want to crawl back into that dream and live there forever.
But nooo. Lumine had to go and drag me out like a disappointed mother yanking her child out of a toy store.
And now?
Now I'm sitting on a bench, questioning my life decisions, while she stands there looking at me like she just babysat the God of Chaos.
I sighed and leaned back. "Soooo. Since you dragged me out of the dreamscape and ruined my chances at becoming Nilou's dream husband..." I kicked a pebble. "How much have you learned so far?"
Lumine crossed her arms. "You already know, don't you?"
Paimon chimed in, floating a little closer. "He always knows. It's freaky."
She's not wrong.
It is freaky. I don't know how I know, but I do. Like my brain's got built-in spoilers. Like some weird cosmic cheat code got stuck in my soul. Maybe I tripped over a fourth wall one day and no one told me.
I gave Lumine a smug look and gestured dramatically. "Indulge me anyway. Let the great and powerful Shigeru be enlightened. I shall rate your exposition dump on a scale of 1 to genius."
Cue the dump.
They told me everything.
The jungle trek. The weird silent scholar. The incense-scented nap that turned into a prophetic vision. The big ol' glowing tree. The woman whispering "World... Forget me..." (Spooky. 10/10 horror vibes.) And the dramatic waking up in Gandharva Ville.
Apparently, Tighnari the Fluffy Fox Doctor treated them, but Lumine thought he was hiding something. Classic.
I nodded along like a wise sage. "Riiight. That thing. You saw a giant tree, didn't you?"
Lumine raised an eyebrow. "You know what that is too, don't you?"
I cracked my knuckles. Time for a Shigeru-Style Lore Drop.
"Ladies, floating food... That tree? That's Irminsul. The big rooty brain of Teyvat. Basically the world's memory drive, but shaped like a salad tree."
Paimon blinked. "A salad tree?"
"Yes. Healthy, mysterious, and possibly hiding dressing."
Paimon made a face. "That's not how trees work."
Lumine sighed. "Can you be serious for one second?"
"Not unless you pay me in mora or mango sticky rice. Preferably both."
I took a deep breath and did my best professor impression, hands folded dramatically. "So! Irminsul! Imagine if your browser history, your hard drive, your memory, and a tree got into a blender and out came the world's most sacred salad. That's Irminsul. Everything Teyvat knows—or chooses to forget—gets filtered through that tree. And our leafy queen, Greater Lord Rukkhadevata? (a.k.a. Dendro Mommy Supreme), the memory manipulation, and how Sumeru's basically running on old data like an outdated laptop. She's like the antivirus system who tried her best, but Windows XP was just too buggy."
Lumine blinked. "That's... somehow helpful? And also deeply unhelpful."
Paimon squinted. "So you're saying the world's memory is a glitchy vegetable."
"Exactly. And Rukkhadevata—bless her dendro-drenched heart—was the last real admin. She tried to clean the system, got deleted herself, and left us with a patch note disguised as a dream."
There was silence.
I beamed. "Nailed it."
Then Lumine and Paimon added more. Chronic illness? Eleazar. Yikes. The Withering? Double yikes. Aranara?
"Oh! Those cute little vegetable things? They look so edible!"
They both stared at me.
Lumine: Deadpan.
Paimon: Disgusted.
"What? I'm just saying if one of them walks into a stew by accident, I wouldn't not eat it."
"Shigeru," Lumine said flatly, "you can't eat every cute thing."
"Bold of you to assume I won't try."
Paimon groaned. "He's hopeless."
I gasped. "Hopelessly charming. You forgot the last part."
They moved on.
I learned about Tighnari's sass, how Collei has chronic anxiety (relatable), and the weird tech behind the Akasha Terminal. Basically, brain internet. Sponsored by Big Sage Energy.
Then came Dehya and Dunyarzad. Strong bodyguard lady and sickly rich girl with more spirit than my entire moral compass.
"So... you guys are doing alright, then?" I asked, stretching like a lazy cat. "Not too far off from the storyline."
Paimon rolled her eyes. "There he goes again! What storyline?!"
I shrugged. "The cosmic script. Destiny. The lore-coded path of events. You know."
Lumine gave me a look that said he needs a nap and probably a leash.
"Paimon's given up trying to understand you," she muttered.
"Me too," I said.
"Then at least stop talking like you're an author playing god."
"No promises," I smirked. "Besides, if I was god, I'd give myself better abs."
And then...
I stood up and dramatically brushed off imaginary dust from my nonexistent cape.
"Alright. Time to see my future wife—"
Lumine's glare hit me like a pyro slime to the face.
Abort mission.
ABORT.
I cleared my throat. "I mean. Time to explore the area. You know. Tourist stuff. Culture. Books. Falafel. Definitely not stalking anyone."
Paimon floated over with a peach she definitely didn't buy. "Smooth. Real smooth. You tripped over that sentence like a hilichurl on ice."
Lumine crossed her arms again. "Just behave."
I held up two fingers. "Scout's honor."
"You were never a scout."
"Exactly. That's how you know it's sincere."
She groaned.
As we walked toward the Grand Bazaar again, I took one last glance behind me.
Nilou was still there, helping Dunyarzad pick out flower patterns. Her laughter floated on the breeze, soft and warm.
My heart did a backflip.
In my head: Don't simp. Don't simp. Don't simp.
My mouth: "So like, what do you think her favorite flower is? Asking for... cultural... uh... integration."
Lumine: "Shigeru, please."
Paimon: "Just marry a plant already and spare us."
"Okay but like... what if the plant looks like her?? Hypothetically?"
I was already getting smacked.
WORTH IT.
***
Sumeru's Grand Bazaar.
A place filled with laughter, spices, carpets that probably cost more than my soul, and—
HER.
Nilou.
Dancing. Glowing. Radiating sunshine like some divine cinnamon roll dipped in grace.
Okay, I might be romanticizing a bit. But come on.
She was there in the distance, busy helping Dunyarzad with something, occasionally glancing our way. AND THEN—get this—she SMILED and waved at me.
My brain: malfunctioning.
My heart: out here running marathons.
Me: melting into a pile of blubbering simp soup on the marble floor.
"D-Don't look at me like that," I muttered, hugging myself dramatically.
Lumine, walking ahead, glanced back. "She's not even looking at you anymore."
"YET," I corrected, pointing in her vague direction. "She looked. And smiled. That's like... love, basically."
Paimon floated past me, munching something suspicious. "You're hopeless."
I nodded solemnly. "Hopelessly romantic, yes. I know."
Lumine rolled her eyes so hard I swear I heard them creak. "He's back on his nonsense again."
"She waved at me, Lumine. That's sacred. That's divine intervention. That's fate high-fiving me."
"She waved at all of us, you emotional spongecake."
I gasped. "How dare you insult spongecakes like that."
We wandered through the Bazaar like a bunch of confused tourists. Paimon was fascinated by every single fruit stand. Lumine acted like she didn't care but secretly enjoyed the colorful fabrics and weird trinkets. Me? I was just trying not to trip over my feelings.
At some point, I tried to casually lean on a stall while staring at Nilou across the square.
Leaning: successful.
Stall: not stable.
Me: in pain.
"Smooth," Lumine deadpanned.
"Pain is temporary. Simping is eternal."
Paimon looked me up and down. "At this rate, Nilou's gonna think you're possessed."
"I am possessed. By love."
Lumine actually gagged.
She crossed her arms, clearly unimpressed. "Red hair's not even that great."
I blinked. "What?"
"Nothing," she mumbled, eyes narrowing. "Just saying blondes are scientifically cuter."
Paimon turned dramatically. "Oh? Are we JEALOUS now?"
"I am NOT!" Lumine shot back.
I raised an eyebrow. "You kinda are."
"SHUT UP."
Paimon snickered. "Lumine, Paimon thinks your tsundere is showing."
Lumine nearly tripped over a basket. "Say that again, Paimon."
"Tsuuuun~~dereee~~" Paimon sang.
I grinned and folded my arms. "Admit it. You're threatened by her beautiful smile, her elegance, her flawless dance moves—"
"SHIGERU I SWEAR I WILL THROW YOU INTO A LAMP POST."
"Worth it."
We kept walking. Somewhere between dodging angry carpet vendors and Paimon almost accidentally shoplifting a pomegranate, we found ourselves on a quieter street.
"So…" I began, purely to cause chaos, "What do you guys think about me marrying Nilou?"
Silence.
Paimon nearly choked. "WH-WHAT?!"
Lumine gave me a look so sharp it could slice through reality. "You've known her for like, five minutes."
"Five minutes of destiny," I whispered dreamily.
"Do you even know her favorite color?"
"Yes." I paused. "No. Maybe? Red. It's always red."
"That's just her hair, you idiot."
"Exactly. Symbolism."
Lumine sighed. "Please stop talking."
Paimon hovered behind her, whispering, "He's in deep, huh?"
Lumine: "He's beyond saving."
I snapped my fingers. "You guys don't get it. This is how love works! You see someone dancing, they smile at you, and then BOOM—married. Happily ever after."
Lumine stared at me. "That's not love, that's a fever dream."
I shrugged. "Well, love is basically a long, delirious fever with bonus butterflies."
We walked a bit more, and I decided to bring up the big topic casually.
"So… Dendro Archon."
Lumine raised an eyebrow. "What about her?"
"Any chance she can officiate my wedding to Nilou?"
"SHIGERU."
"I mean, she's technically the god of wisdom and dreams, and this—" I pointed to my heart, "—this is the dream."
Lumine buried her face in her hands.
Paimon floated over to a stand and picked up something that looked vaguely edible. "So, we're just walking around talking about love, food, and divine marriage now?"
"Basically," I nodded. "Oh, and future disasters. Don't forget those."
Lumine peeked through her fingers. "Disasters like what?"
"Eh… you know. Sages trying to play god. Mind control. Memory erasure. Possibly me crying if Nilou gets sad."
"…The last one isn't a real threat."
"WRONG. My tears are legendary."
Paimon: "Legendary like your delusions."
"Oh please, I am a visionless mortal man powered entirely by simping—I am unstoppable."
We passed a little stall selling tiny clay figurines. I picked up one that looked vaguely like a dancer.
"Look! It's Mini Nilou!"
Lumine took it, inspected it, and then handed it back. "It's a cow."
"…I still want it."
We kept walking, and occasionally, just occasionally, I'd glance back toward the stage where Nilou was performing. She was laughing with Dunyarzad, helping decorate with flowers. She looked like a dream.
I sighed internally.
I want to marry Nilou so bad.
And yeah, I know. It sounds crazy. It's reckless. It's stupid.
But so am I.
So, really, it all lines up.
As the sun started dipping a little lower, painting the Grand Bazaar in gold, I leaned against a post (carefully this time), watching her from afar.
She turned.
Met my gaze.
And waved again.
I waved back, grinning like an idiot.
Lumine: "You're blushing."
"Am not."
"You're literally redder than her hair."
"…Shut up."
Paimon floated around us like a smug little balloon. "Can we go now, or are we gonna stand here simping till the stars fall?"
"I could do both."
"Of course you could."
Lumine grumbled. "If he starts singing a love song, I'm leaving him here."
I cleared my throat. "Oh Nilou, you graceful flame, I don't even know your last name—"
"GOODBYE," Lumine snapped, already turning away.
And so, with me still head over heels, Lumine still trying not to strangle me, and Paimon ready to sell both of us for a kebab, we continued our chaotic stroll through the Bazaar.
Life was good.
Chaotic.
Slightly stupid.
But good.
(And one day, I swear... Nilou's gonna be my wife. Just you wait.)
______________________
End of chapter 85
Quests Completed:
*Explain the Dendro Archon lore using at least 80% emotional damage and 0% academic sources.
*explain Irminsul and Rukkadevata using absolutely zero academic credibility. It made sense. Somehow.
*Survive breakfast without getting thrown out by Lumine or eaten by Paimon.
*Walk around like a normal person. Completely failed that. Looked at Nilou too much. Fell in love harder. Again.
*Explored the Grand Bazaar while catching glances at a cinnamon roll named Nilou. No purchases were made. Pride was lost.
*Get a souvenir to remember Nilou by. Accidentally chose a cow.
Rewards:
*+1 Imaginary PhD in Emotional History
*+3 Jealousy Points (Lumine)
*+100 Nilou Affection Points (according to me. Not confirmed.)
*+1 Mental Breakdown Recovery Item (used immediately after Nilou waved)
*+1 New Weak Spot: Red Hair Weakness Discovered
*+1 Physical Injury (from leaning on a stand like an idiot)
*+1000 Simp EXP
Achievement:
"Jealousy Activated"
-Heard Lumine mumble "Blondes are cuter" while glaring at Nilou from 30 feet away.
Hidden Effect: +1 Passive Aggressive Buff (applies when Nilou is mentioned)