"You're not alone."
The words still echoed in my mind, soft yet piercing.
I sat frozen, my hands gripping the edge of my bed as if letting go would send me spiraling into nothingness. My breath came in shaky gasps, my chest rising and falling unevenly.
"Why now?" I whispered to myself. "Why speak now, after all these years?"
But the voice—the conscience I had buried—didn't answer with words. It answered with memories.
Scenes I had long pushed aside rushed back with cruel force.
The day I ignored Twinnie's messages, convinced she had changed.
The way I shut her out instead of telling her how I felt.
The way I pushed Toby Jinx away, pretending his words meant nothing.
"You were afraid." The voice whispered. "Afraid to face the truth. Afraid of being the one who ruined everything."
Tears welled in my eyes. "No," I muttered, shaking my head. "I was just protecting myself."
"Protecting yourself from what?" The voice asked.
I swallowed hard. My throat burned as I tried to find an answer—any answer—that would justify what I had done.
But deep down, I knew.
I wasn't protecting myself.
I was running.
Running from the pain of knowing that the distance between Twinnie and me wasn't just because of her. Running from the truth that maybe… just maybe… I was the one who built the wall between us.
A sob broke from my lips. The weight in my chest became unbearable, and I clutched my shirt tightly as if it could hold me together.
"It's too late," I choked out. "They're gone. Twinnie. Toby. My family. I have nothing left."
For a moment, the voice was silent.
Then, it whispered:
"But you're still here."
The words hit me like a cold wave. I bit my lip, my vision blurred with tears.
I was still here. Alone. But breathing. But hurting. But alive.
And maybe… just maybe… that meant something.
Tears flowed freely down my face. My body shook with silent sobs as the weight of everything crushed me from the inside out. I gripped my bedsheets, curling into myself, as if I could hide from the voice, from the truth, from the pain that refused to let me go.
Eventually, exhaustion took over. My vision blurred, my body relaxed against the mattress, and I drifted into a restless sleep.
And then, the dream began.
I stood in the middle of nowhere—a vast, endless darkness stretching around me. No walls, no sky, no ground, yet I was trapped.
Then the voices came.
First one. Then two. Then a hundred.
"She's useless."
"She never deserved love."
"No wonder they abandoned her."
"She pushed them away herself."
Their whispers clawed at me like invisible hands, circling me, growing louder, heavier, pressing into my chest. I tried to cover my ears, but the words pierced through me like a blade.
"Stop it..." I pleaded. My voice was weak, barely a breath.
But they didn't stop.
I turned, searching for an escape, for anything that would pull me out of this nightmare. But all I saw was the emptiness.
And then—through the noise—the familiar voice spoke again.
"Tell me…" it whispered.
I froze. My breath hitched.
"What do you see?"
I swallowed hard, my hands trembling. "Nothing," I whispered. "I see nothing."
"No," the voice murmured. "You see yourself."
A shiver ran down my spine.
"Why do you hate yourself?" the voice asked.
Tears welled in my eyes. "I—I don't."
"Then why do you run from the truth?"
I clenched my fists. "Because it hurts!" I screamed into the darkness. "Because I can't change anything now! Because I lost them, and it's too late!"
The whispers around me stopped.
Silence swallowed the space, heavy and suffocating.
Then, the voice spoke once more.
"If you could go back… would you?"
My lips parted, but no words came out.
Would I?
Would I go back and fix everything? Apologize to Twinnie? Stop pushing Toby Jinx away? Open my heart instead of locking it shut?
Would I?
I fell to my knees, sobs wracking through my body.
I didn't know anymore.
The voice didn't ask again. It let me sit there, crying, breaking, until the darkness faded away.
And then—I woke up.
My face was wet. My pillow was damp with tears. My body was shaking.
But my mind… my mind was screaming with questions I couldn't ignore anymore.