Remaining Days: 2
I have slept more peacefully than I probably ever did since I can remember, so, since I am in the Moon Cell. Yesterday's talk really helped a lot and I am glad we did it. I softly caress Saber's cheek, smiling to myself, while she is still fast asleep.
𖦹𖦹𖦹
"In love?" Saber asked, cutely blushing. It was the only explanation I had for how I feel about her. I do not think I ever was in love before, but without a memory I cannot be sure. Yet, Saber is the only person I would want. Always. I want her to be as close to me as possible, or even closer.
I nodded at her. "I'm pretty sure I do love you," I said, though I could hear my voice breaking slightly. How could such a thing be so hard to say? Was I afraid of her reaction, that she would reject me? That this talk would go to waste and we will be back to not talking at all?
Saber looked like she wanted to say something, but somehow could not. I could understand, it was hard for me, too. But I really wanted to hear her say she cares about me that much, too. So that I can be sure and not have to worry about misinterpreting her feelings anymore. I wanted to be certain of her feelings towards me.
Suddenly, she kissed me—sloppily, but I understood the gesture. She feels the same. "I l-like you, too, okay?" I did not think I ever saw her this flustered. Her expression was just adorable, I was almost sad that I may not see her like this every again.
"Like?" I asked, teasingly. A small part of me still worried I could have misunderstand, however ridiculous that may be, considering Saber made her feelings pretty clear. Saber gritted her teeth before answering clearly, and I was sure her cheeks could not turn any more red.
"I love you, Master," she almost shouted out, having lost parts of her voice control in utter embarrassment, "Happy now?!"
I chuckled, then I returned the kiss she gave me earlier to confirm my feelings for her. I was not completely sure I loved her when I confessed, but this felt so right, like I should have been doing this all along. Kissing Saber, holding Saber. I must be in love, maybe since I first met her.
𖦹𖦹𖦹
Saber awakes, asking me for the time and if I would not want to go to classes today. I actually do not, I would rather spend time with her, making up for the days we barely spent time. Not that it is less awkward between us now. We talked and we both know of our feelings, but we never really talked about what we plan to do from now on.
"Saber?" I ask, waiting for her affirmation that she is listening to me, "Should we… date?" This question brings the reddish pink colour back to her cheeks. Maybe it is cruel to ask this so early in the morning.
"I-I guess," she says, before turning away to get dressed. Teasing her for a clear 'yes' would be a bit too much, I think. I already teased her enough yesterday and, given we win this round, I will have plenty more chances to tease her. My sole reason for wanting to survive and win this war is now to stay by Saber's side, for as long as possible. Ideally, forever.
As she materialised her barely covering armour, I lean on her back and wrap my arms around her from behind. "I missed you," I say. And I mean it. I know she understands, that I do not mean physically but emotionally.
"I'll be there now," she says, trying to sound casual, but in fact her uncomfortableness with skinship is showing.
"Forever?" I ask, almost afraid of the answer. However, I do not think Saber would hurt me like this. Not anymore.
"Forever," she promises, having caught her own voice to give me certainty of it.
I almost jump out of the bed and get dressed, to Saber's surprise. It is a bit embarrassing, but I could not be happier. "We'll go training," I tell Saber, so she can share my cheerful mood.
"Without hiding?" She asks, and I am not sure if she wants to provoke meeting Ronnie and her Lancer or not.
"Do you want to?" I will let her decide this. I am sure as long as Saber is by my side, she would not let me get hurt and I will do my best to protect her as well. We should not be scared, even if our opponent is an insane, cannibalistic clown.
"Yeah, it's no fun if the Enemy Programs don't even react," Saber says. I could have figured as much. Saber is not the kind of person who would enjoy slaying anyone—or anything—who cannot defend themselves. I am sure this girl never could hurt someone badly, she must have been a really heroic person in life.
I agree and we make our way through the school halls to the Arena. On the way, we meet Rin. She seems happy, though I could swear I saw a slight sadness in her eyes when she saw us.
"I see you made up? That's good," she says. I know she means it, though I can feel Saber's hostility towards the fellow Master. Just what's her problem with Rin?
"Yes. In fact, we… uh, started dating," I tell Rin, though I do not know how she would react. It is probably strange for a Master to fall in love with and date their Servant, but with Saber and me we cannot help it. It seems just so natural that we would become this close.
Rin's eyes widen in small shock a little, after which she first looks at Saber, whose cheeks are now pinkish yet again, then back at me. "You and… Saber? That's… great," she says, though somehow her happiness about this news does not seem as genuine to me. "Congratulations," she adds, and I feel like she just pouted. It must really be weird to date your Servant, but I do not think I want to care about that. As long as Saber is with me, I will be happy, no matter how anyone may react, even if it is Rin.
Rin excuses herself and needs to leave, making preparations and she is gone before I can even tell her goodbye. I consider asking Saber what is wrong with Rin, she may be more observant than me.
"Let's go," she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind her to the Arena. Saber is really bad with words, but I have known her for long enough now that I think I understand her—she does not want to talk about Rin now. So, I will not ask, I can ask Rin when I meet her again.
𖦹𖦹𖦹
In the Arena, Saber still has no issues with killing Enemy Program after Enemy Program. I am not sure if it is the Alteration of the Soul that made her even stronger or if she just feels as happy as me about our new relationship and that is why she can fight without any worry. I hope it is the latter.
Though, in the end, I do not know if this training is worth it. As if noticing my doubt - am I really that easy to read?—Saber quells her killing spree and comes to my side. "Is something wrong, Master?" I do not know how to bring this up, but I should not hide anything from my girlfriend, especially if it is something that bothers me.
"I just feel like… this training is a waste. I mean, I'm probably dead, anyway." We have no confirmation, but it is very likely. That is probably why I am such an anomaly. Even if we win, the SERAPH would delete me and I could not use the Moon Cell to do anything. My time with Saber is limited, very limited.
"So am I," Saber says nonchalantly. How can I keep forgetting that? Saber is not a normal person anymore, she died long ago. I saw and felt her death. Even if I was not dead, as soon as I leave the Moon Cell, she would be gone. "That's no reason to sulk or give up."
I know she is right. Maybe there is a way out of this, maybe I am not dead and maybe I can use the Moon Cell to stay with Saber. Or, maybe I am dead and we can meet in some kind of afterlife. I should not worry about things that are so far in the future, I should enjoy the time I still have with Saber, just in case it really is as fleeting.
I take her hand. "You're right, sorry." I apologise, though Saber does not see any reason in me doing so.
"No problem, Master."