I am crying
And I don't really know why
I haven't been able to understand my emotions yet
Is it just my built up frustrations like I think it is
It's not like my opinion is very heard in this house
However it's not like I voice it out often either
I am too afraid of you thinking I'm just talkin back
That this is just my rebellion phaze
It's better to keep quiet if I don't want to start a fight
When I do voice my opinion it only seems like attitude in your eyes
But that doesn't solve anything
And only causes the frustration to rise
Or am I lonely.
I don't know
This house is pretty empty with just me and two cats
Most nights I am alone
When my mom is spending the night with her new boyfriend
Or my sister is out late hanging out with her friends after work
But it doesn't really make much of a difference whether they're here or not because we don't really talk.
Some nights my sister brings over her friends
But that's not really company I'm still alone in my room
Feeling uncomfortable by the presence of strangers on the other side of the wall
Am I sad
I don't think so
What is there to be sad about
I am not going hungry
I am provided for
I live a privileged life
What right do I have to complain about these small matters when other people are struggling more than me
Isn't that just selfish of myself
What gives me the right to be sad when I take so much for granted
Am I feeling upset
Has my frustrations reached over capacity
Is it pushing these tears out my eyes
I don't know why I just really feel like crying