After I said all that, she just sat there for a second. She did not say anything, but her face completely changed. The small bit of happiness she had from the sandwich was gone. She looked like I had just told her some terrible news. 'Was I too harsh?' I wondered. 'Maybe I should have said it a different way.'
She opened her mouth like she was going to argue with me, but then she stopped. She took a quick look around the classroom, and I could tell she remembered that everyone was watching us. She probably did not want to have a big emotional conversation in front of the whole class. I didn't blame her for that.
She leaned in a little closer, and her voice was quiet when she spoke. "Kofi, can we please talk about this later?" she asked. "After school? We don't have to talk about it here."
I just shook my head. 'No, I can't do that,' I thought. 'I just made my decision. If we talk later, it will just make things harder.'
"There is nothing to talk about," I told her, trying to keep my voice steady. "I already said everything. It is better if we just leave it like this."
The look on her face got even worse then. She looked genuinely hurt, and I felt like a real jerk.
"Please," she said, and her voice was a little shaky now. "Just give me five minutes. I just need to say something to you. Please."
'Damn it,' I thought. I looked at her, and I knew I could not say no again. I had never had anyone look at me like that before, like what I did really mattered to them. Making her look so sad felt awful, and I hated being the reason for it. I let out a long breath that I did not realize I was holding.
"Okay," I muttered, not looking at her. "Fine. After school."
I saw her shoulders relax like she had been holding her breath too. "Thank you," she said, and she managed a small smile. She stood up from the chair, still holding the container with the sandwich I made. "And thank you for this, really."
She turned and walked back to her desk. I felt like a complete hypocrite. I just spent five minutes telling her to leave me alone, and then I agreed to meet her later. The whole class was still looking at me, and I felt their eyes on my back. I just wanted to disappear.
The second she sat down in her own seat, I felt this sudden, sharp pain in my chest. It was not my ribs; I knew what that felt like. This was a deep, aching kind of pain that made it hard to breathe for a second. I instinctively put my hand over my heart.
'What the hell was that?' I thought. I did not know if it was the system doing something weird or if it was just me. All I knew was that I felt like I had made a huge mistake. This was not simpler at all. I had just made everything way more complicated.
That weird pain in my chest finally faded a little, but I still felt like crap. I had just tried to cut things off with Nina, and all I managed to do was agree to see her later. It made no sense. I glanced over at the classroom door, and my stomach just dropped.
Standing right there in the hallway, looking in through the little window in the door, were Tyler and Ronnie.
'Oh, shit,' I thought. 'How long have they been standing there?'
Ronnie had that same pissed-off look on his face from before, but Tyler was just staring. First, he looked at Nina sitting at her desk, then his eyes moved over to me. He did not look angry, exactly. His face was just blank, and somehow that was worse. It was like he was sizing me up.
I could not believe my luck. The one time a popular girl actually talked to me, her boyfriend and the class jerk had to be watching the whole thing. This was the exact kind of drama I had been trying to avoid my whole life.
They did not hang around for long. After a few seconds of them just staring, they turned and walked away down the hall, out of my sight. I let out a breath, but I did not feel relieved. I just felt more anxious. 'Great,' I thought. 'Now Tyler probably thinks something is going on. This is going to be a mess.'
After that, the rest of the school day just flew by in a weird haze. I could not focus on any of the lessons. The teachers were talking, but the words just went in one ear and out the other. I kept replaying the conversations from the break in my head. My talk with Nina, Ronnie starting shit, Jake and his gossip. And now Tyler seeing us.
I just wanted to go home and forget any of this ever happened. But I could not. I had promised Nina I would talk to her.
Before I knew it, the final bell was ringing. The sound made me jump. Everyone started packing up their stuff, talking and laughing as they got ready to leave. I just sat there for a minute, feeling my heart pound. My hands were a little shaky as I started slowly putting my textbook into my backpack.
'Okay, you can do this,' I told myself. 'Just hear what she has to say, and then it's over. For real this time.'
I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to get myself under control. I felt nervous as hell. I had no idea what she wanted to say to me, and I had no idea what I was supposed to say back. I grabbed my crutches and slowly got to my feet, my ribs complaining with every movement.
The classroom was almost empty now. I saw Nina waiting by the door, looking back at me. It was time to go.