If Jiang Chen had a silver coin for every time someone tried to confess under a vegetable-themed landmark, he'd have enough money to build a mansion out of beets.
Unfortunately, the Moon-Lettuce Pavilion was real.
And unfortunately, he was standing in it. Alone. At night. Surrounded by suspiciously romantic candles. And lettuce.
"I didn't light these," he muttered, plucking a glowing stalk. It gave off the faint scent of vanilla and guilt.
The pavilion—a curved jade structure shaped like a blooming lettuce—sat at the highest point of the palace gardens. It had become a popular spot ever since a local romance scroll claimed any love confessed beneath it would "sprout eternally."
Of course, Jiang Chen didn't believe in that. He believed in soil pH, balanced irrigation, and keeping his head down.
But his system had other plans.
[DING!] Mission: Respond to the Confession Under Moonlight!
– Reward: 1x Mystery Romance Seed– Penalty: Public recitation of your cabbage haikus at morning court. In song.
Jiang Chen gritted his teeth. "You're blackmailing me with poetry. Again."
[Affirmative! Also, your nose hairs looked nice today.]
"…Thanks?"
He sighed, then turned toward the entrance—just in time to see Lin Wuyue step into the pavilion.
Except it wasn't Lin Wuyue.
It was the Empress.
In a dress made entirely of embroidered moonflower petals. With a ribbon that had "Heartsprout Forever" written in tiny golden script.
"Master Jiang," she greeted softly, her eyes glowing in the lanternlight like twin koi fish swimming through distilled romance. "You came."
"I didn't know you were the one—"
She stepped closer. "Do you believe in destiny?"
"I believe in strategic crop rotation."
"I believe… in you."
Jiang Chen took a step back and bumped into a lettuce altar.
She moved closer. "Ever since the rake incident… I haven't been able to sleep."
"That was just weeding! Innocent weeding!"
"I dream of rosemary," she whispered, placing a hand on his chest. "And you."
"I—I—I think I forgot to feed my goose."
"You mean our goose."
"…I want to cry."
Meanwhile, somewhere outside the pavilion, Lin Wuyue was hiding behind a hedge, chewing on a bitter herb and fuming.
"Why is she here?"
Next to her, Xiao Zhu—the umbrella girl-turned-bestie—tilted her head. "Didn't you say you didn't care?"
"I don't."
"You followed him in your pajamas."
"Stealth pajamas."
"You're gripping a bouquet."
"It's a prop."
"It's cabbage."
"It's symbolic."
They peeked through the vines and saw the Empress attempt to hand Jiang Chen a moon-carved engagement cucumber.
Wuyue's eye twitched.
"That's it," she hissed, rising. "She wants a lettuce war? She'll get one."
She stormed in.
Jiang Chen was half a second away from accepting a cucumber just to make the situation end when Wuyue burst through the archway like an emotional tornado.
"There you are, my beloved hoe-handler!"
The Empress blinked. "Excuse me?"
Jiang Chen blinked. "Wait—what?!"
Wuyue strode up to him and grabbed his arm like it was her birthright. "I can't let this go on any longer. It's time the truth was known."
Jiang Chen blinked again. "Please don't say something insane."
She leaned into him dramatically. "We've been secretly engaged since he first hoed my turnip patch."
The Empress looked personally attacked by the metaphor.
Jiang Chen whispered through clenched teeth, "What are you doing?!"
"Saving your romantic life. Obviously."
"I was handling it!"
"You were cucumbered!"
"That's not even a verb!"
"It is now!"
They were so busy arguing they didn't notice the bard who had wandered in, notebook in hand, recording every word.
"Hoe-handler accepts two hearts! Lettuce triangle begins!"
The Empress raised a perfectly arched brow. "So… is she telling the truth?"
Jiang Chen froze.
Wuyue clutched him tighter. "Tell her, darling. Tell her how we first met."
"I… uh…"
"Tell her about the forbidden harvest moon kiss!"
"We never—"
"Tell her how you wrote me cabbage haikus that made my soil flutter!"
"I wrote one haiku and it was an accident!"
The Empress crossed her arms. "You're surprisingly poetic under duress."
"I'M JUST A GARDENER!"
"You're the gardener of my heart," Wuyue declared triumphantly.
The Empress narrowed her eyes.
Jiang Chen looked between them, trapped like a worm between two sparrows.
[DING! Hidden Mission: Escape the Lettuce Triangle – Unlocked!]
– Reward: Emotional clarity (rare).– Penalty: You're not ready.
That night, after the Empress left with a parting "we'll see who wins the final harvest," Jiang Chen lay on the pavilion floor staring up at the stars.
Wuyue sat beside him, silent.
"…So," he said finally, "we're pretending to be engaged now?"
She shrugged. "Unless you want to make it real."
He turned his head. "You're serious?"
"You think I'd fake a cabbage duel for just anyone?"
"…You're terrifying."
"You like terrifying women."
"…I really do."
She smiled. And it was real this time. No teasing. Just a soft, slightly shy look that made his heart skip.
"Wuyue?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
She leaned her head against his shoulder. "For now, let's just enjoy the fake. Real will happen when you're not running from cucumbers."
He chuckled.
A lettuce petal floated down between them.
And from somewhere nearby, the bard shouted, "Chapter 24's gonna wreck hearts, I can feel it!"