Thursday's drama rehearsal was supposed to focus on Act II, Scene 2—the famous balcony scene. Kenji had spent the previous evening practicing his lines and trying to convince himself that this was just another aspect of his undercover work, like learning to pick locks or forge documents. The fact that his scene partner was sixteen years old and the entire drama club kept commenting on their "natural chemistry" was just an occupational hazard.
"Places, everyone!" called the drama club president, whose name Kenji had learned was Tanaka Rei. "Tonight we're working on the emotional core of the play!"
Kenji took his position below the makeshift balcony—actually just a raised platform they'd constructed from desks and chairs. Hana appeared above him, backlit by the classroom's fluorescent lights, looking every inch the tragic teenage heroine.
"Remember," Rei called out, "this is the scene where Romeo and Juliet declare their love! It needs to feel authentic, passionate, but also tender!"
"No pressure," Kenji muttered.
"What did you say, Takahashi-kun?" Hana asked from her perch.
"Just... getting into character."
The scene began with Romeo's entrance, drawn by his love for Juliet. Kenji had to climb through a window (the classroom door) and sneak into the garden (the space in front of the desks) without being detected by the Capulet guards (represented by two first-year students with foam swords).
"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?" Kenji began, his voice carrying the weight of actual romantic experience. "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."
The drama club fell silent, as they did every time he performed. There was something unsettling about how good he was at this.
"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon," he continued, gazing up at Hana with what he hoped looked like teenage infatuation rather than the vague paternal concern he actually felt. "Who is already sick and pale with grief that thou, her maid, art far more fair than she."
"He's so good at this," whispered one of the club members.
"It's like he really means it," added another.
Hana began her response, leaning over the balcony with theatrical longing: "O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."
The scene continued with the two characters declaring their forbidden love, making plans to marry, and generally behaving with the kind of romantic impulsiveness that made sense for teenagers but felt deeply uncomfortable for a forty-year-old man to portray.
"Hold on," Rei interrupted during Romeo's profession of love. "Takahashi-kun, you're delivering the lines beautifully, but you seem... reserved. Romeo should be more passionate, more swept away by emotion."
"I'm trying to be respectful," Kenji replied carefully.
"Respectful is good, but this is Romeo! He's young, he's in love, he's willing to risk everything! You need to let yourself get carried away!"
"I don't think getting carried away is appropriate."
"It's acting! You're supposed to get carried away!"
Hana leaned down from the balcony. "Takahashi-kun, are you nervous about the romantic scenes?"
Twenty pairs of teenage eyes focused on him with laser-like intensity. Kenji felt like a specimen under a microscope.
"I just want to make sure everyone's comfortable," he said diplomatically.
"That's so considerate!" Hana exclaimed. "Most boys our age would just go for it without thinking about their scene partner's feelings!"
"Exactly!" Rei added. "That's what makes you perfect for Romeo! You have this maturity, this consideration, but you need to balance it with passion!"
"Maybe we could try a different approach," suggested one of the other club members. "What if Romeo is older than usual? More experienced?"
"Interesting idea," Rei mused. "Most productions play Romeo as very young, but what if he's more mature? Someone who's actually experienced love and loss?"
"That would explain Takahashi-kun's natural gravitas," Hana agreed.
Kenji wanted to point out that his "natural gravitas" came from being literally twice their age and having actually experienced love and loss, but that seemed counterproductive.
"Let's try it again," Rei decided. "This time, Takahashi-kun, play Romeo as someone who knows what real love feels like. Someone who's been through real relationships."
This was somehow worse than playing a teenage Romeo.
They ran the scene again, and this time Kenji let some of his actual romantic experience inform his performance. The result was a Romeo who spoke about love with the weight of genuine understanding, who looked at Juliet with the kind of tender protectiveness that came from knowing how precious and fragile young love could be.
It was, objectively, a very good performance.
It was also deeply disturbing for everyone involved.
"That was incredible," Rei whispered when the scene ended. "So mature, so real."
"It didn't feel like acting," Hana added, looking down at him with something that might have been actual affection. "It felt like you really understood what Romeo was feeling."
"Just... method acting," Kenji replied weakly.
"Whatever it is, it's working! You two have amazing chemistry!"
After rehearsal, as the drama club packed up their scripts and props, several members approached Kenji with questions about his technique, his training, and his approach to the character.
"Have you studied acting before?" asked a second-year student.
"Not formally," Kenji replied, which was true.
"You seem so comfortable on stage. Like you've performed in front of audiences before."
"I've done presentations," he said, thinking of the countless mission briefings and undercover situations where he'd had to perform a role convincingly.
"It shows! You have this confidence, this presence. Very professional."
As the group dispersed, Hana lingered behind, apparently waiting for the others to leave.
"Takahashi-kun," she said once they were alone, "can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Do you... I mean, when we're doing those scenes together, do you feel anything? Like, beyond just acting?"
Every alarm bell in Kenji's head started ringing simultaneously. This was exactly the kind of situation that could destroy his career and his life.
"Hana-chan," he said carefully, "you're a very talented actress, and working with you is a pleasure. But it's important to remember that what happens on stage is just performance. Romeo and Juliet's relationship is a fictional story."
"I know that," she said, looking disappointed. "I just thought... you seem so different from other boys our age. More mature, more understanding. Like you've actually experienced the things Romeo talks about."
"Everyone brings their own experiences to their performance."
"But what experiences? You're seventeen, like me. What kind of experiences can you have had?"
This was the question Kenji had been dreading. How do you explain to a teenager that you're actually old enough to be their father without blowing your cover or traumatizing them?
"I've always been... observant," he said finally. "I pay attention to how people behave, how relationships work. Books, movies, watching other people."
"That's what I admire about you," Hana said. "You're so thoughtful. So aware. Most boys our age are just... boys. But you're different."
"I'm really not that different."
"Yes, you are. And I know you feel it too, the connection we have during those scenes. It's not just acting."
Kenji felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff. One wrong word could send everything tumbling down.
"Hana-chan," he said gently, "you're an amazing person, and any boy would be lucky to have your attention. But I think you should focus on people your own age. People who are actually in the same stage of life as you."
"What do you mean, people my age? We're the same age."
"Right. Of course. I just mean... people who are ready for the same things you are. I'm very focused on my studies right now, and volleyball, and I don't think I'm ready for a relationship."
"That's okay! I can wait!"
"Hana-chan—"
"I know you like me too, Takahashi-kun. I can see it in your eyes during our scenes. The way you look at me... it's not just acting."
She was right, in a way. The way he looked at her during their scenes wasn't acting—it was the kind of protective affection an adult might feel for a young person who was talented and earnest and completely out of their depth. But explaining that would require revealing exactly why he felt that way.
"I think you're misinterpreting professional chemistry," he said carefully.
"I'm not misinterpreting anything," she replied with the confidence of someone who'd never been wrong about their feelings before. "But don't worry, I'm not going to pressure you. I know you need time to realize what this is."
After she left, Kenji sat alone in the empty classroom, surrounded by fake stage props and the lingering scent of teenage drama. His phone buzzed with a text from Agent Sato: "How was rehearsal?"
He typed back: "I think Juliet is in love with me."
"The character or the actress?"
"The actress."
"Oh no."
"Oh yes."
"What are you going to do?"
"Pray that this mission ends before I have to break a sixteen-year-old's heart or explain why I'm not actually a teenager."
"Maybe you could get sick? Miss a few rehearsals?"
"I already tried that excuse with the volleyball team. Apparently I'm too healthy-looking to be believably ill."
"This situation is completely out of control."
"Tell me something I don't know."
As Kenji walked home through the quiet evening streets, still in his school uniform, he reflected on how completely his life had diverged from anything resembling normal adult existence. Tomorrow he would attend classes with teenagers, eat lunch with seventeen-year-olds, play volleyball with boys half his age, and continue rehearsing romantic scenes with a girl who thought he was her peer.
And somewhere in the middle of all that, he needed to investigate a pudding conspiracy being run by a school nurse who kept sending him text messages with heart emoticons.
His phone buzzed again. This time it was Nurse Yamada: "Good evening, Kenji-kun! I hope your rehearsal went well. I've been thinking about our research project and I have some exciting ideas to share. Are you free this weekend? We could meet somewhere private to discuss. (´∀｀)♡"
Kenji stared at the message and wondered if there was a handbook somewhere for "What to Do When Your Undercover Identity Accidentally Becomes a Teenage Heartthrob." If there was, he definitely hadn't received a copy.
He texted back: "This weekend is busy. Volleyball tournament preparation."
The response came immediately: "Of course! So dedicated! I'll be cheering for you at the tournament. Maybe we can celebrate afterward? Just the two of us? (◕‿◕)♡"
Another heart emoticon. Another invitation that sounded suspiciously like a date.
Kenji put his phone away and quickened his pace toward home, where he could at least pretend to be a normal forty-year-old man for a few hours before having to return to his alternate reality as Sakura High School's most popular transfer student.
Behind him, the school building glowed in the darkness, full of teenagers preparing for their various dramas, both on stage and off. Tomorrow would bring more volleyball practice, more Romeo and Juliet, more careful navigation of the complex social dynamics he'd somehow become the center of.
And eventually, he would have to figure out what the International Pudding Cartel was actually planning to do with all those specially formulated desserts.
But tonight, he just wanted to go home and eat regular, non-conspiratorial food while sitting in furniture designed for adults.
It seemed like such a simple request.