So apparently I am being broadcast to the whole god-wood.
Bunch of perverts.
Since those Gods got hold of my captivating humor, they have been demanding more of me.
I refused.
Dear Entertainer Lucas,
If you don't entertain us,
We will destroy your world
With love,
The Gods
And this was the response.
Are they Gods or self-entitled men?
Ew.
This is why I am an atheist.
Anyway, Fury has been chanting, like always.
[My ratings are going higher and higher]
[Higher and higher]
I wish I could get high.
That would solve ninety percent of my problems.
[Lucas, do something funny!]
I would kill myself, but that won't be funny (to Ella), so no.
[You can't die anymore anyway! The God's casted an immortality system on you]
[They might remove it if you get boring, though]
Then I am going to sleep.
[Please, don't]
[I need this]
Huh, why?
[It's my dream to become a human!]
Why would you subject yourself to humanity?
[Because humans are beautiful]
…So are Gods right?
[No, Gods like me are anything but beautiful]
Then why not become a God?
[Humans are far more beautiful than Gods]
[I think so]
Yes, you think so.
Thought and reality are at opposite ends.
Humans are ugly, selfish, and cruel.
They hurt without thought and—
[Better than nothing]
[Better than not being good or bad]
[Is it not better to be ugly than to be invisible?]
Not one fucking bit.
The opposite of love is neither hate nor indifference, it is being human.
[Maybe, maybe not, but I want to decide that for myself]
[So please, do something funny, entertain the Gods]
Why?
[Because all it takes is one turn, and everyone you love may be six feet deep]
I laughed.
That way, we both won't get anything we want.
Seems solid.
A shitty bluff. This is all entertainment for some shitty Gods, this world is not upto you.
I am sure you can't do anything, not affect anything in my life. You can't bring the story to an end.
You can't do anything, that may upset your shitty deities.
Because you are worth fucking nothing.
Not human, not God, just invisible.
My ears started to burn. Not like it was on the stove. Like it was rotting.
[Lucas, that was a great comeback!]
Huh?
[The God-X is filled with quotes from your words!]
[Good work!]
Then Fury did not speak.
Not when I woke up late.
Not when I was lazing around.
Not when I was being boring.
I still could not take off the earring. But my ear stopped pricking.
I did not miss it, don't misunderstand. I don't.
I stared at the drawer.
Maybe I took it too far.
It's just guilt.
Guilt of crossing lines I never built.
Guilt of breaking something further.
Guilt.
The door opened.
"Lucas!" I looked at Raine's figure.
"What is it?" I asked, my voice quieter than it needed to be.
"It's been three days, where is my goat meat?" She asked, tilting her head.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
I looked into her eyes.
"Must be nice to be so stupid," I said, forgetting all my calm and that she was seven.
Her pink eyes looked at me, almost scrutinizing me.
"If there were no stupid people, who would be smart?" She asked, her eyes curious.
She was probably the type of human Fury wanted to be.
And I remained silent.
She walked towards me.
"It's boring being your maid, I want to go back," she whined, plucking on my shirt.
I should probably introduce her to Illaine.
I haven't talked to Illaine in days.
I lay on the bed. Ignoring Raine.
What am I doing?
And Raine went away.
She went away.
Away.
And I sat there.
Until my ear started burning. I quickly sat down.
[You know, I thought about what you said]
I lay back on the bed.
Is that so?
I answer.
[And you are right]
[But I am not wrong]
Whatever you want to believe.
[And I am as powerless as you]
[But unlike you]
[I have a reason to continue]
[So I am the one at a disadvantage]
[But that's fine]
[It's fine if you don't help me]
[At least by entertaining the Gods]
[Because your words made me realize]
[Realize that being human is a feeling]
[Not a body]
I am not going to teach you to be human.
[Dammit]
[How did you know?]
Too many isekai novels.
And then there was silence.
A warm ear.
Me.
I want to restart my life and make smarter decisions, and change the genre.
[We can do that!]
No.
[But you just sai—]
No.
[Okay]
[Tell me]
[What do you want?]
An ice cream sundae.
[And?]
Brownie.
[And?]
Waffles.
[And?]
You to shut up.
[And?]
What are you trying to do?
[I read in a book that—]
I don't want to know.
This is all so monotone.
I'm tired and annoyed, and I wish everyone would die.
Especially me.
I bit my lip.
I pinched my ear.
It's all your fault.
[Not my fault you are allergic to emotions!]
I am not allergic to emotions.
I am just awful at managing them!
[That's even worse!]
It's human.
[Is being terrible with emotions the definition of human?]
[For me, that is just you]
Well, almost everyone is like me.
[But they are not as beautiful as you!]
I am beautiful?
[Yes, I think you are the prettiest type of human!]
[You are stupid, annoying, kind, mean, selfish, useless—]
Are you insulting me?
[I think those traits make you more beautiful]
[Because they make you raw]
I still don't understand your thought process.
What God-weed are you high on?
[I just think that you, as Lucas Green, or you as who you were before]
[Are the most beautiful a human can be]
[Because you are shitty]
[Because you are flawed]
[Because you are you, even if it's pathetic]
[I believe you are beautiful]